Stress building up?

I heard in the radio this morning that this week is the one where most people get divorced. It makes sense since the decision to get a divorce is one that comes with wanting a different life, a fresh start. The radio show said that the most common reason is infidelity followed by abuse and then money problems.

A marriage is hard work, but it should not feel like it. If we learn to recognize how taxing the holidays can be in a relationship, we can begin to address things before they become issues.

The holiday season can really make you lose perspective over what is really important. Wanting to give the perfect gift or host the perfect party can really take a lot out of someone. Then the new year hits and all of those resolutions that did not get accomplished from last year can pile up and make it seem like another year went by without much change in life.

I really think the secret to a good life is having peace of mind. Being able to sit in a room by yourself and just be content with your life. Be able not to forget about your problems, but know that you have plans to tackle each one of them. Also counting your blessings and seeing where you are at instead of where you have not been able to get to.

It is important to be able to know what it is that releases your stress. A good crying session, a round of video game playing, a good book, a great CD. Don’t let stress get built up, take a moment of your day to decompress. Also don’t forget to laugh, make sure that you have something in your daily routine that brings a smile to your face.

Make sure that now that you are back at work, or school, or into your routine you put what is important first. Make sure that you take the time to clear your head each day instead of carrying stress that does not need to be carried. Open up to those around you about what is on your mind and encourage them to do the same. Move forward and make little changes to your life instead of trying to reshape it all in one day. Most important, be happy that you are awake and that you are taking on a brand new day.

What to give?

For the last couple of days I have been thinking about what to give in this holiday season. People need hope, perspective, love and understanding but most are going to get the latest gadget or toy.

I love to give advice to others, but it is hard at times to stick to my own advice. I do try to take my own advice and lately I have been trying hard to not take things personally. I have actually more and more finding that having faith helps with keeping me calm, and staying calm helps me have perspective in my life.

Watching the movie Love Actually yesterday for the first time also gave me some perspective. Love is something that is ever so present but at times we either take it for granted or don’t nourish it. We need to tell those around us that we love them, that they matter and most of all that without them our life would not be as happy.

Do not fight with anyone during this season, the stress level is way up and old issues are not going to be resolved in one night. Try to maybe have dialogue with that person before you have to see them in a group dynamic. Don’t drink or eat too much, you will regret it.

You also have to love yourself, it is important to feed your own ego and not depend on others to do so. Counting your blessings can always help on this. This is the time of year where most start to make plans for the following year, why not instead look at what you accomplished on the year that just passed.

Admit your mistakes and correct what did not work. If one of your behaviours keeps on hurting you, or those around you start working towards eliminating it from your life. Why make the same mistake simply because it is a learned behaviour that you seem to have always done. You have the capability for change, exercise it.

Most of all, believe in something bigger than yourself. Family, friends, or even God. I know not everyone is spiritual, but if you think you know everything or control everything you are a fool. You are also carrying a load that you do not need to. Apply the saying that you have heard and make sense… and simply change those things you can, and accepts those you cannot.

This little post is my gift to you in this season… to those like me, Merry Christmas… to the rest, Happy Holidays and to all best wishes.