To Blog or not to Blog

I have been struggling to create content lately, not because I don’t have the content to put out but because I don’t know the right medium anymore. It used to be that the blog was the default for my rants, random thoughts and the like but today I have no clue where it should go.

Facebook has turned into a prayer book, and no I am not jumping on my religious friends at all but basically at the notion that instead of picking up the phone and calling a friend about an issue people now leave it to facebook to answer their prayers… or air their dirty laundry. A lot of my thoughts that used to fit so nicely here have now become displaced passengers stranded in an island where they don’t have the money to get into the next ship.

I used to feel like I could put anything I wanted here and most readers understood that I was being devils advocate and trying to make them think of another point of view, or simply exploring my own point of view. The internet is not the same place anymore. Can someone really become radicalized simply by reading the internet? Do I seriously long for the dirty place where the worst thing you could find was rotten dot com?

Having a lot to say does not cut it anymore, and frankly facebook discussions with people that barely understand the difference between religion, conviction and morals is really futile. Twitter is even worse. The podcast I wanted to start has some merit but it will not be a complete outlet, only a small drip… lol

Pair that with the fact that now things are more and more available to everyone and YES your Mom knows that you blog.

I have a couple of entries that should make an appearance soon, but then again is it time to move to a new format and maybe create a serious YouTube channel? Did the blog really die with the first decade of this century?

Back to the same thing, at this point I am not sure if I should blog or not. /sigh

Random Violence

Weird freaking dreams right? That is the consequence of not writing as an outlet.

That is the conclusion Heather and I came to last night.

A lot has happened in the last year, new job, more travel. There is a chance that I will spend some time in Brazil this year and I should be looking forward to it but sometimes I just want to stay close to home. The world is getting to be a little to scary with random acts of violence… or are they really random.

Two tourists in Brazil were kidnapped yesterday, one of them raped. See earlier this year we took a cruise and after reports that there was local unrest in Belize I decided that we would not get off the ship on that port. I rather not chance getting shot at over some local unrest. Funny thing is that most people think that Colombia is an unsafe country, but don’t understand that there are unsafe areas. The country overall has not been unsafe since the mid 90s in my opinion, well not more so than any other.

Last night the office building where I go to the office at (when I go to the office) had some windows broken due to gun fire. The way it is being told right now is that it is totally random someone walking through the street and just firing. The skeptical person in me says that there is more to that but who knows.

I grew up in Colombia with violence being something you grew up with. I had a baseball cap snatched from my head, had a knife pulled on me in a mugging, my family was shot at, I was blocks away from a car bomb. I have seen my share of violence. I don’t want it in my life. As I get older I try to figure out where it comes from.

Violence is born from frustration and most of that frustration has been born out of poverty and hunger. There are people that do lose it and see violence as a viable outlet, but I think frustration because you cannot feed yourself or your family is a great motivator.

The economy hit this country hard, and while the political process continue to be about everything but the real problems I get more and more concerned about the future. Should I get an arsenals and get ready for society to crumble? Should I be afraid to travel to countries where I have to work but might not be all that safe? Is violence really random or something that can be prevented?

I wish I had more answers than questions.

Packaged Deal

This outlet seems to has falter in the last year or so for me. I used to organize my thoughts here quite a bit and it made it interesting when other people were somehow inspired or pissed off by what my inner monologue sometimes came up with. Life changes thought, and the last year saw a lot of changes for me. The most significant to me was the death of someone really close to me which shook me… a lot… a lot more than I sometimes let on. I know how irrational it can sound, but sometimes when my leg falls to sleep for sitting in a weird position on the couch it brings terrible thoughts of ALS and paralysis… i know, irrational, but stills scary.

While a lot in my life has changed, a lot has stayed pretty much the same. I think I have changed a lot more than life around me. Even though I have spent my life preaching about opening your eyes about what is right in front of you, at times I was just as delusional as everyone else seemed. So yea, it still me, still the same rambles, still hoping it makes you think when you read what the weird voices in my head say.

I am still thinking that this place might have run its course and it might be just left to be an old book that I come back and read. Even though some entries are still living and getting comments, overall I don’t create content here like I used to. Some days I want to change that, some others it feels like the medium is tainted like photography still is to me in some levels. Something that you do for fun, should be enjoyed.

Which brings me back to packaged deals. I am told constantly that I deal too much in absolutes. I am aware of this deficiency on my way of thinking. People are not computers, or math equations… even if they do behave as such sometimes. At least that is how I understand some of them. I try, really I do, but seldom do people really tell you what they are really thinking or feeling, and often times people don’t even know how to put into words what they are feeling either.

Friends and groups of friends always come with some added benefits. Sometimes it is that some of them get you access to cool underground parties or a shorter line at the DMV. Other times those same groups of people come with a price, the person that makes everyone uncomfortable but nobody calls out. I always see those as packaged deals, you kind of have to take the good with the bad and just ignore the losses. I know that applies with not just groups, couples, etc but also with people.

Do you take all the good of a person and try to ignore some of the bad, or most of it? Is the friendship really worth it? Is the time investment something that truly will benefit you in the end.

I spent a good part of the first decade in this century figuring out that cutting people that are destructive in your life need to go. They are a waste of energy. What happens when those people come in a package though? What is then the deal breaker? When does a second chance come into place?

Confusing, I know. Maybe that is why I need to write more again. It seems like my brain is quite a mess at the moment. Funny thing is that it isn’t. I am at a very peaceful time at the moment. It is not void of issues and problems like life is, but I am ok with them and with the plans I have in place to move forward. However, the “nice” person in me feels like I should always reach out and give second chances in situations and not call things done. Maybe that is the part of being human that I am so uncomfortable with. You know the pan handle is hot, you know that you should get the oven mitt before you touch it, but how much can a little test touch can hurt?

First Ramble of 2013

- I need to invent a device that lets me post via brain waves… I thought I had already posted this year!
- I went on a cruise and I did not die.
- I am also not deathly ill now… maybe the last time was food poisoning?
- Maybe the seabands do really work.
- Maybe I do have a little of vertigo but more used to it.
- Hoping it stays this way.
- Still torn about the whole cruise thing. The big things that annoyed me before about it are still there.
- The people that serve you there are so underpaid.
- It was nice to have some candid conversations with some of them, truly nice people.
- Cozumel might be my favorite place in the planet now.
- Ceviche might be my hands down favorite food ever too.
- Pescaterian thoughts are swimming in my head.
- People’s bad attitude are something I really want to stay away from in 2013.
- I will be in Chicago soon! WOOT.
- I love having cops for neighbors.
- Nice knowing someone looks over your lootz.
- The more I have to talk about and say, the less I seem to post.
- I really don’t like not feeling like this is a true outlet anymore.
- I might have to start painting.
- Reading abstract art might not be as fun.
- Self censorship.
- Flu sucks… but I am kind of glad that we had it before vacation.
- Sad so many of my friends are suffering through it.
- Sand beaches or Sand! Bitches!

Bottle opener

Day of the Holy Innocent

Today Colombia celebrates April Fools, but it is called “Dia de los Santos Inocentes.” It is similar to April fools because of the pranks that people play on each other today. The roots of celebrating the days actually have to do with the bible and King Herod and the massacre of the innocents. Basically the magi coming to visit Jesus are alerted by an angel and return home via a different route hoodwinking Herod. I already find the magi amusing because who does not love pronouncing Balthazar.

Another amusing fact is that one of the precursor of April Fools day is the Feast of Fools a medieval tradition that was held, you guessed it, on December 28.

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