I am not overly retrospective today funny enough. It might be the cold I am getting over, too much work to do or just being ready for the weekend.

I do have still hair on my head. I thought I would be bald by now because one of my great uncles that I seem to share a lot of genes with was bold by this time. Thinning hair, but still got it up there. Actually that same uncle is the one that made me start thinking of changing my relationship with food since he did pass away younger than he should have.

I’m much wiser than when I started my 20s and in a lot of ways a totally different person, but the more I think about it, the more I am coming back to some of those same ideas I had when I was young. I guess everything is a cycle of change when it comes to your personality, passions and likes. Being away from Chicago for over six years makes things feel familiar and yet evolved in some senses. Leaving was one of the best things I did for becoming a true adult, coming back is probably going to complete that chapter in more ways than anything else.

The 30s have never scared me… actually I don’t think any age really scares me. I know how inevitable getting old is and I embrace the fact that I will eventually get into the XO territory and hopefully not be as cranky as Meesha really is. It has been a great trip until know and I look forward to at least doubling my current age and hopefully tripling it if possible… who knows maybe aliens will get here and I’ll get to multiply it by 4.

I got some awesome surprise calls today that truly made my day! I did not expect them at all

I thank you for all the good wishes, all the phone calls and overall your relationships. I think that is what makes my life so awesome, that I have so many amazing people around me. You make me very glad to be me! so thank you!

We were at a family function and both of them were jonesing for the season finale of season 4 of Dexter like I do for video game time. So we figured, lets give it a try and started watching it on netflix. I don’t want to spoil much for those that have not discovered this gem, but I had the ice truck killer pegged since the first time he came on screen. The show has everything from dark humor to suspense. Weird thing is that there are tons of blood and guts but Bea seems to only be faced by the flossing during the opening credit. Come to think of it, the opening credits disturb me as well… maybe it is my dislike of big chunks of ham.

Now we have finished up to season 3 either digitally or through rental and season 4 does not come out on DVD until AUGUST!!!! NOOO!!!

I cannot wait to continue watching this show. Its fun to want the “bad” guy to win at every turn. Funny thing is that the show is pretty popular all over the world, but they don’t get it through a paid channel but rather free channels. I watched an interview with the main actor and it was interesting to hear the different reactions from different parts of the world. How in America we are satisfied with the killer getting rid of murderers, but in Europe they are still bothered by the fact that he is a killer.

Moral dilemmas aside, the show is great entertainment and it explores human emotion from a new perspective. I am really not sure how accurate the portrayal of a serial killer can really be since I doubt any of them really lets anyone “in” but it is still interesting to see someone with no conscience. Everyone at one point or another has watched or even enjoyed a good Vampire fiction and in reality they are simply murderers, but when you put a very human face in a monster that has a different kind of make up it makes you wander. Serial killers have made me curious but never fascinated me, there was always something disgusting about them; however the character of Dexter is likable, even endearing.

Now we have to wait to continue the saga, and for the first time since we moved I am considering getting cable again just to watch this show. Yea it is that good.

I am paranoid about a lot of things, but it has been something that I tried to work on. I sadly have seem to turn it off at all the wrong times… so instead of turning it off I am now trying to use it to my advantage. So far it has been working pretty good.

The whole paradox gets even a little more convoluted when I go ahead and tell you that I am also a very willing to hand out trust. Yeap, even as paranoid as I can be, I am also very willing to make new friends and meet new people. The thing is that in doing so I let them into my world a little too much.

Since the snipe is a totally made up creature, well partly and for entertainment purposes, lets give it some qualities. A snipe is a person you meet that has a lot of good qualities, or at least want to portray them that way but they are only there as hooks. In relationships we all want positive reinforcement in some level, and some are very willing to give that out but not because they feel it but because they know that is the social norm.

We have been watching Dexter lately, and it is an amazing show that entertains but also shines a light at human behavior. When a serial killer looks at life and human interaction from the outside of the emotional realm, it shines a very scary light into why we do the things we do. In a very similar fashion, Meesha not too long ago observed something similar about smiles.

Good sports commentators are not the ones that perfectly describe how a pass spirals through the air or announce GOOOAAAAAAAAAL! the ones that we like to listen to are the ones that are able to predict the adjustment a team is going to make to win the game, or the one that can predict a play before it happens. They are good at their job because the became experts at recognizing patterns related to specific situations. One of the main reasons I love the book Blink.

It is easy to recognize a bad influence in your life after they have made a mess out of it. The trick is to recognize those snipes before they are even inside the door. I don’t have the key to that just yet, but I am getting better at honing my spidey senses. Take a moment and reflect on what snipes you have around!

Before the interview started, Maria had asked me to tell her a little more about myself… since we communicated via gmail and google docks she actually knows me as John instead of Logtar.

Hi John,

1. What would you want the world to know about you? About your blog?

This is an interesting question because I believe that the more you talk about yourself, the more you are actually concealing. About myself I would say that I value family and friends above money and career. About my blog that it is a place for me to express myself, an outlet for my humor, thoughts and rants; however, reading it does not mean you truly get to know me. To get to know me requires actual conversation in my opinion.

2. I really love that you have a section on your blog that talks about your family. Why did you feel the need to do that?

I value family greatly, and I tend to consider my close friends part of what I call my family. I think it is important for people that read me to understand that about me so when reading what I read they have that perspective.

3. What is it like to be married to a fellow, notorious blogger?

Exciting. Even though my wife had been in hiatus for a couple of years only posting sparringly, she has recently started to blog again. My wife and I met through our blogs, and back when I first met her she was someone I admired for her writing and intelligence. Now that we are married I have learned much more about her and admire her for so many other things, but it was good to get to know her through her blog and as a blogger first.

4. I was checking out your Top 100 Must See Films – I agree with many of your picks. What would you say are some of the WORST films you’ve seen?

Oh… so many to list I could probably list 100 again. Recently I have seen a lot of good movies, the biggest let down in recent memory was Spiderman 3. We put made it an event and even had people watching the previous 2 right before going into the theater, then we go and we get a very poorly executed movie. I have seen it again since and have been less critical, but that was still a disappointment. Just last month, 2012 was a movie that could have been awesome but I just could not get into it.

5. Describe the best day of your life, to date.

The best day of my life so far was the day that I met my wife. It was nice to see that the connection we had built online over the years translated so well to real life. The chemistry we had right away still feels the same today and every time I see her I smile.

6. If you could wake up tomorrow and have the perfect life, what would that look like?

Warm, maybe because it is winter right now but I keep on imaging a very open house, waking up to coffee and fresh bread. Walking into a big kitchen with rustic tile work and very earthy colors on the walls. Then a very spacious home office with several computers to work on cool projects during the day. Then lunch outside in a patio surrounded by lots of tropical plants. Afternoon finishing up work, then maybe a movie or a good TV show. Dinner at a good restaurant, then maybe a little dancing. Then stay up late into the night playing video games.

7. I just wrote a post where I list some of my pet peeves. What would you say are some of your ultimate pet peeves?

Well, I have a post saved for some time that is going to list all of them, but I will put some of them here since you asked!

People that think they can read minds. No you have NO idea what I think or how I arrive to that conclusion… ask, talk, converse… find out never assume.
People that expect you to be able to read minds. Again, the art has not been perfected (unless big brother got it working.)
Hurried Drivers. Chicago is full of them, and they seriously will race from light to light.
Small talkers. Small talk is a waste of time, if you don’t care to have an actual conversation don’t say anything at all.
iRude people. If you are in a social situation, put the darn toy away and interact! (This might include me when I get an android, and of course I won’t annoy myself)

8. I read that you and your wife enjoy trying new restaurants. If you could only one food for the rest of your life, what would that be?

One type of food, Asian… one dish, Bandeja Paisa.

9. How do you see your blog changing/growing in the future?

Not sure yet. I think it will change quite a bit once we are more settled in Chicago, or if we do end up having a kid this year. I do want to do more reviews and maybe even another podcast soon. I don’t know if I want to grow it as much as keep the good readers. What I would like to grow is the interaction. I get a lot of comments via e-mail instead of posted here in the comments section. I think conversations amongst my readers are the best content that the site has.

So there you have it, I hope that you guys enjoy the interview as much as I did!

Over the past year I have been posting mostly thoughs and rants, I hardly ever review movies and books like I used to. My only recent attempt at more readers was an interview experiment. I don’t run any memes, I don’t play on technorati or bloggeries anymore. The readers I do have I appreciate greatly. I use Askimet as a spam stopper in wordpress and since I have started using it I have forgotten how much comment spam I do get.

Since I started blogging in 2004 I have received only one piece of hate mail that was rather amusing, and then last week I got another… the subject line read “Ashamed”

I don’t know who you are, nor do I care to know. I think you are despicable and you should be ashamed of yourself. Hacking into to people’s legitimate website and adding all your junk code with links to your blog is loathsome.
If you are even a remotely decent human being you may end up replying to my email. At minimum you should NEVER, EVER hack into people’s websites again. You should say several prayers in attempt to attain forgiveness for the ridiculously selfish nature of your actions. You should post some type of public apology on your blog as well.
In case you haven’t noticed, this is hate mail to you. You should be ashamed.

So… after initially laughing a little at the accusations I thought about it further and since the person asked me to reply I did. I was polite and tried to explain to her that I don’t hack websites, and that a spammer is probably using a badly secure site to test their code. I am not proud of the fact that links (most of them non existent since the domain is the only accurate part of the code they injected) to my website are being maliciously placed on people’s legitimate web code.

I have since received a couple of other e-mails about the matter, so it has happened to other sites. One even smart enough to ask me if I had payed someone for SEO optimization. Which I have not… I don’t make money writing in this website and have no plans on monetizing it so there is no need for that.

In conclusion. If you find some code injected into your website that happens to point to mine…

1) I did not hack your website. I have no intention and if you happen to check your logs, send me any of the offending IPs so I can add them to my block list.

2) Check with your ISP about the security of your network. If someone can modify your webpages, they have access to a lot more.

3) Be careful when paying people to “optimize” your website. Do not give them passwords or access to your files. Package your site and send it to them, revise the code before posting it back to your server.

4) NOTHING is free. If you see some “template” out there for free, don’t trust it. The code might have malicious parts in it. Unless you know what all the files are, do not upload them to your webserver.

5) Pay a reputable web developer to design your website. I would personally not hand the keys to my car to a person that has taken a toaster apart and expect them to know how to take an engine apart and put it back together. There is a HUGE difference between a web designer, a web developer and a WEBMASTER!

A web designer will make your site pretty.
A web developer will make your site do nifty things.
A web master will make sure your site is MANAGED correctly and not vandalized BY HACKERS!

So secure your websites people, or a hacker out there might link back to a blog that does not even know they exist!

I would wake up knowing that the next day I had to go into a place where the mood changed like the weather outside. It certainly did not start that way, and I felt like there were many forces at play to make it the way it was, but I now know that it had a lot to do with my own outlook on things.

Trying to change things that you have no control over, or having the desire to do so can be not just frustrating but enraging. Understanding where your control of the situation ends in a job is the key to overall mental health in the workplace. If you feel like it is not the place for you, and you stay because of environment, benefits, or simply because it is the best paycheck you can get; you have to equip yourself with a clear outlook.

Identify what you do have control over, starting with your mood. Plan your days or week in a way that you dedicate your time in an effective manner to get things done. Have a support system outside of your work that can help you sort things out in your head. It is very easy to fall into the internal perspective of things, and outside people that know you can give you insight into your situation even if they don’t understand exactly what you do.

Make yourself visible. Frustration can sometimes come from not being recognized for what you do. If you are not getting credit for what you do, someone else might be enjoying the fruits of your job.

Have hobbies, read a good book. When things are getting stressful at a workplace, make sure that you spend your time away wisely and in activities that give your brain a rest. Do something that engages your mind and not something that allows you to still think about work after you spent all day working there.

Arrive early. When you dread your job it is very easily to just start getting there just in time. That can create even more stress, so make a habit of getting the early and it will set up your days in the right direction.

If you still feel the same way, don’t wait to look for a job. You should not dread going to work, you might not like it, but the moment it becomes a true negative in your life you will be compromising too much. If you cannot change your outlook, you need to get out because it will affect your health and relationships with others.

Logtar: The first post that I could find in your blog was about the swine flu, which brings up two questions. Have you ever blogged before this site? and do you feel diferently about the whole H1N1 now (was it just a normal flu blow out of proportion?)

Dufmanno: Ahhh, swine flu. I spent the better part of last year frozen in terror, waiting for it to strike and then I think we actually caught it and lived to tell the tale. So I’m not currently in full blown CDC mode like I was back then. I have two other rinky dink blogs that I piddle around on. They are sort of my red headed step children that I hide in the closet when company comes over. But Dufmanno sprouted legs over a long school shut down that left me nearly insane.

L: Has a picture inspired a post, or are most of them found to complement an already written piece?

D: Yes, a picture that I’ve snapped has directly or indirectly gotten my mind headed in a certain direction and most of the time that diretion results in a post. The most recent one that comes to mind is the photo of my son at the farm that morphed into “You’ve Got Another Thing Coming”. I have to admit here though the the thing that inspires me the most is the radio. I have a terrible habit of listening to Sirius/XM’s First Wave and Classic Vinyl stations and stealing every song title that comes up.

L: Interestingly enough we both seem to have similarly explosive rage personalities. Have you found anything that can be a good escape valve for the rage?

D: I come from a long line of New York hot heads. Loud, proud, and not going away anytime soon. I have a tendancy to blow up VERY easily (especially while driving, or when someone drinks my iced tea) so I need to watch it with the kids. Before I became a lazy, snuggie wearing slob, I found that excessive exercise helped me dial it down quite a bit. Now I usually call one of my equally enraged friends and we yell and stew together. Very theraputic.

L: Besides rage we have following the teachings of Cathol at some point in our lives in common, this is a very hilarious post by the way (http://dufmanno.wordpress.com/2009/08/24/sweatin-like-a-whore-in-church/) besides your husband, do you hang out with many “God Ignore-rs” ?

D: Actually no. Among my friends and relatives, I am the only one with a first class ticket on the express train to hell. My mother is all over me about my lack of church going and I’m surrounded by super Catholics because for fun we sent the kids to parochial school so they could suffer the same pain. My oldest pals wore the knee socks and jumper with me and we love to reminisce about the shared knuckle rapping and ear pulling.

L: How much of your heritage can you track back to the motherland, any embarrasing “windex on My B F Greek Wedding type of stuff?”

D:I’m quite a mix actually. I’ve got Sicilian and Irish on one side and Sicilian mixed with German, English and American Indian on the other. I can only trace the Sicilian ancestry back because they have every freaking document (Including the ship roster from when they sailed to the U.S.) and minds like steel traps. My grandma used to say bad words in Italian while she smoked and drank her scotch on ice. As far as embarassing stories, every encounter with these people ends in a weird shame spiral. There are just too many to recount.

L: I noticed your natural disaster scenarios on the interview you conducted. Recount the closest encounter that you have been to a natural disaster?

D: Wow, let me think. I guess we did manage to muddle through a few hurricaines with no power for a few hours but that’s as close as we’ve ever come to real adversity. I’m waiting though. I’ve got my power generator and dried food packets ready.

L: While talking about disasters, what movie, book and CD would you take love to have with you if you were stranded on an island?

D:
Movie – I would cheat and bring two – Annie Hall and The Terminator
Book – Naked, by David Sedaris
CD – Regatta De Blanc – The Police

L: Are you ever going to expand on your “About Me” page or do you just want to keep everyone wondering?

D: Since I’m really famous in real life I think it would be better for everyone if I remain in the shadows. My true identity may cause you to gasp.
Honestly, it never even occurred to me that anyone would want to know more about me. Perhaps, that’s something I need to work on.

L: Do you enjoy reading blogs written by women more than men, any suggestions?

D: It depends on the day. If I’m craving a certain type of humor or writing I head right to certain blogs. There is just so much out there, it’s hard to choose just a few.
My blogroll has most of the blogs I visit regularly and I even need to add a few more .

L: I have done a couple of interviews in the past and I love word association… don’t think just give us the first thing that comes to mind.

Purple :: shoe laces
Square :: colander
Limbo :: hell, flashing lights
Cup :: flying
Cone :: Hoyer’s
Fan :: supergroupie
Geek :: alliance (?)

D: Okay, that was weird.

So there you have it, some excellent answer and a very interesting blogger that you should check out.

This society is geared towards individualism and youth. Every day industries promote the fountain of youth and how people are living longer, but also how obsessed people are with staying young. The 40s are the new 30s and so on. Many people are scared of getting older in all societies, but getting older in the U.S. can be right down terrifying.

My paternal grandfather passed away in 2006 and my maternal grandfather is getting older each day. My Mom and I have talked about how my grandfather’s light is not shinning as bright as it used to. This is the man that taught me how to play chess and was always very assertive and successful business man. Now his days are full of anxiety about his illness and all he seems to look forward to now are his yearly trips to Colombia to escape the winter. The cold that to him is killing him might be related more to the coldness of this society has towards the elder rather than the temperature on the thermometer. He would gladly spend the rest of his life back in Colombia, but my grandma who is over a decade younger than him wants to be here where all of our family is.

Many of the elderly people that I have spoken to here in the U.S. fear not being mobile. First is the loss of their driving privileges and then not being able to get around their own house. I constantly hear on the TV about reverse mortgages and think of how different a house is looked at in the two cultures. One side of me does not see the advertised promise of financial fredom or security promised by the announcers but rather a way for someone else to profit from someone’s life’s work. Both families back in Colombia have several properties that have either been adquired by one generation and are now being passed to the next.

My Mom in the other hand has it set on her head that she will be glad to not be a burden and be put in a nursing home if the need ever arrives. She has embraced the pace of this country of constantly moving and cannot imagine neither my sister or I having to take care of her in any way. Maybe some of the innate independent nature in me comes directly from her genes, but both Bea and I are very family driven and would not hesitate to live with our parents and take care of them. Even today, if I had the chance to go back to Colombia and live with Bea’s Mom in the same household it would be wonderful. I have enjoyed every second I have spent in conversation with her and love her wise words of advice.

We are getting older and more of our friends are having to deal with the decision of putting a parent or a grandparent in assisted living. We know it is not an easy decision and in many cases not even their decision, but something that the last generation had already planned on doing. I am sure something similar is happening in Colombia now and more and more families are joining the society of disconnect from the last generation. Gaps seem to be getting bigger all over and talking to your elders about your problems and going for advice is being replaced by paying a “professional” for advice.

I am not sure what my future will bring when it comes to my old age. I am lucky that I have Bea to grow old with, and if we are blessed with kids hopefully also see them grow up. I am not sure if I will be alive in 30 years and ready to retire to a community with other people my age or not. I am not sure if the attitudes will change and by then 60s will be the new 40s. I do hope that the next generation does not look to us as a burden but rather a source for wisdom from experience. I know I wish that I had spent more time with my grandparents and now being close to family again I see the importance and benefits of having that connection.

“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”
- Socrates

I was still very young when Y2K make my metabolism “non compliant” anymore. I thought I had everything figured out and all of my plans were in motion. I still thought I could make people happy, even if I was unhappy myself. I thought that everyone had good in them and that time will bring it out. I thought that everyone wanted to strive to make themselves better and there was no such thing as unwanted advice.

This decade started with my parent’s getting divorced. I wish I could tell you that there was winners all around, but there are no true winners in a divorce. My sister and I were emotionally taxed beyond what we were prepared for during a long period of time. I have had help from many sources and can honestly say that I have dealt with most of it. I also think that both of my parents have moved on for the most part, but the deconstruction of a family unit that was together for 20+ years was not without some adjustment.

I think the biggest lesson out of that whole situation is that family is what you want it to be. Family does not have to be blood related. Those that you let into that circle have an immense amount of power over your emotional well being. Those that you call family will be there after the storm and bonds will be stronger. Also don’t be afraid of forgiving, and be ready to forget as part of the process. One thing I am still working on is building my own family now, with its own rules, taking what I like from the older notion I had and leaving lots behind.

I am not as naive as to not realize that one of the reasons I don’t have to constantly worry about money or attaining it is because I do have a job. I do know that my outlook on that area has changed a lot. I entered the decade thinking that I needed to double what I came out making out of college. I almost blew past that goal and added another zero in the end of that and found that money does not make you happy. I was actually the unhappiest person alive when I was making the most money I have ever made. I then lost everything, literally. I had to rebuild my life, took a lower paying job, but still worried way too much about work. I had to learn that my job is not my life, but simply a means to an end. Also that I dictate what that end is. I am glad that my job has truly become a second tier worry in my life.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
- Socrates

Now that I have reached self professed “enlightened guru” status I can tell you with certainty that true knowledge is not easy obtain. It requires pain to really get inside your head. Humans do seem to be gluttons for punishment of every kind. We do have to continually try to better ourselves. The moment that we think we have it all figured out we will stop learning and truly become irrelevant.

I spent most of the decade trying to tune in all of the relationships in my life, and for most of it all I got was static. It was only when I realized that I need to get myself right and happy before I could really hear others that things began to fall into place. I spent most of the last decade feeling alone in many ways. I enter this one with a wife and a partner in crime, with several people that I consider true friends and closer to my family than I thought I could ever be.

“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.”
- Socrates

So I begin this new decade with a lot of new weapons in my arsenal. I am specially happy about the people I have around me which is the true measure of success for me. I have quality relationships and look forward to spending a lot of time with my family and with the friends that are going to stop by our place.

Back in College one of my friend that was Italian mentioned that he had never had SpaghettiOs to everyone else amazement. I stayed quiet and observed the rest of the conversation, but for many of my other friends growing up was full of canned, quick foods. I tasted SpaguettiOs once and almost puked. I am not adverse to ramen noodles or mac and cheese, both of which I learn to eat during my college years.

My family does not eat out very often. Not just my immediate family, but also my extended one too. The food we eat at home is excellent an home cooked meals are great, but learning about other foods from all over the word has certainly enriched my life. Hamburger Helper is not bad, is something quick and it does not taste horrible. I know most chain restaurants use similar ingredients for some of the meals you get, and cooked fresh is pretty relative in most places you eat out at.

I have not had Hamburger Helper in some time now, not even home cooked mac and cheese (can any of these foods be considered home cooked?) but am also pretty used to canned beans now and think they taste pretty similar to regular beans depending on how they are prepared. TV dinners are something I tried but did not like at all and have never really been part of my diet. So I am pretty curious now. For us our quick dinners are either pasta or rice and beans. What are some of your default dinners? do they include canned, frozen or out of a box food?

Christmas in Colombia was a neighborhood affair. People take their sounds systems to the street and a block party is on. Fireworks big and small are going off all around while everyone stays up until midnight. It is truly a time for friends and family to share and get together to celebrate the meaning of the holiday.

This will be the first Christmas while living in Chicago in over six years and it could not be any sweeter. My wife loves the concept of family as much as I do. My cousins are almost adults and very cool people to hang out with. I now have a nice and nephew to spoil and cannot wait to see them opening presents.

It was pointed out to me over and over that I talked way too much about Chicago. While I have missed the food and places I like to hang out with, what I truly missed was the people. My family and friends mean the world to me, and having my family close for these occasions is great. I do miss the people both in Michigan and Kansas City where I have been for the past six years. I never thought being back would feel so much like coming home, but it does.

I hope you are spending the holidays with the people that are important to you. Cherish those relationships, because my friends, that is the true definition of wealth, having people to share special times like this with you.

Happy Holidays!

This piece of work is truly movie magic. Sure, the story might be over simplistic, the theme and many movie elements borrowed but as far as direction Avatar will become a masterpiece.

The colors and textures in the movie don’t feel like CGI even if the colors are extremely unnatural. He managed to create a tropical paradise that looks even more spectacular at night.

I had never seen a 3D movie before and since we had the option we decided to pay a little more. It was absolutely worth it. The action sequences are as excellent as the ones in Terminator.

It is not a short movie, but the time went by extremely fast. The movie might have been a little slow at times but you cannot notice since you are drooling at the amazing imagery in front of you.

There is not much I can say about the movie or the story without pretty much giving it away. So I will just tell you to go watch it, enjoy it, and be truly entertained.

When we lived in Kansas City, besides our cats, it was just Bea and I. None of our animals eat table scraps, so Bea and I were the sole consumers of food in the house. For the holidays, someone higher up in the company where I used to work was nice enough to send us a Honey Baked Ham as a holiday gift. It was a nice token of appreciation.

The problem is that it’s just Bea and I, and we had a close to 20lb ham. I remember Bea saying, isn’t that a little big? I said, well, we’ll make sandwiches.

Day One
Excitement
We knew there was a package coming because we were asked if someone would be home to sign for a it. We said yes and it arrived. I did not get to say hello to our new family member until I got home and it started taking up half of the fridge on that lovely day. The honey made it smell wonderful, the glaze was crispy and delicious. Bea had never seen a spiral one before and I said no fear this is cool, took a couple of big pieces of Ham for dinner. I think we even got fancy and made side dishes. It was a glorious moment.

Day Two
Ham Sandwiches are AWESOME
I even had ham for breakfast, it was so good. I came home for lunch and had a nice ham sandwich and planned on even having it for dinner. The thought of possible gout did not even cross my mind.

Day Three
Denial
Even though we had been eating ham for two days, we were not making a dent on that monster. It was laughing at our consumption levels. Our attitude was, hey it won’t go bad for a while.

Day Four
Break
We decided to just not eat ham for a couple of days. We figured that we were just working on the big side of the thing, that as the with got smaller we would do better progress.

Day Five
What’s for Dinner
Mustard. Yes, that’s right. If you put enough mustard on ham it will not taste like ham. I am also coming to the realization that bees are evil and their honey is just some weird serum that tastes nasty.

Day Six
Creative
We can chop the ham and make it into other food. We can make all types of potato salads and other good tasty dishes. We won’t taste the ham! It won’t be bad. Oh yes it will, I can still taste that darn honey.

Day Seven
Help
We are going to have a party! If enough people come, we should be able to get rid of it all. Bea found the perfect recipe to make these little tasty sandwiches that tasted delicious to everyone, but we could barely stomach because of their ham content.

Day Eight
Fear
Even after hosting a party for over 10 people we still had almost half of the darn ham. Would it be bad if we just dump pounds worth of meat? None of our friends want to take any home. We don’t have family here to have another sandwich party.

Day Ten
Defeat
The ham mocks us. It laughs at us every time we open the fridge. I think even the milk tastes like honey ham for being stuck in there with the monstrosity. We wish it could be donated. We cannot possibly just dump it, can we?

Bea did not want to witness it, I did not want to do it, but we had to let it go. There was still a considerable amount of ham left, but the honey ham smell was almost repulsive to us now. I took the final piece and dumped it. It was gone, to never return again. So if you ever want to give us something eatable for X-mas, cookies, pop corn are cool. NEVER HAM!

I grew up being very independent and it is a big part of my nature. I experienced life for many years just trying to do things on my own and professing self reliance as the best way to accomplish things. American society certainly fosters the growth of individualism and can do attitude. Then different events in my life made me realize that I was never alone and that even when someone says “you can do it!” just the simple fact of cheering you on is help you are receiving. There is no rule that you have to accomplish everything in life alone.

Community is a concept that I think was lost completely during the 80s and 90s. When Hilary said “It takes a village to raise a child” and people nodded someone should have slapped them. We need to be able to know these common sense things and not have them feed to us by politicians, we should be getting them from our own family or support structure. Our society should not wait until their kids get to college to get their “world view” and learn about diversity, community and other people. We need to recapture our sense of community.

I had a very interesting conversation with Melinda’s husband that left me with many thoughts, one of them that I wish we would have had more time to chat. We discussed how agricultural communities needed one another throughout the year and self reliance was not part of the deal. You needed your neighbors during harvest season. The true kicker though is that community is more significant than just someone to help with the heavy listing. Your health and quality of life are improved thanks your community.

I am a big fan of Malcolm Gladwell as an author to the point that I was even accused of joining a cult after reviewing Blink. On his book Outliers talks about the phenomenon of how a community made a group of people very healthy. I have also read an article about how having a true friend to have a beer with and discuss your problems with makes you happier than being rich. All of this is pretty irrelevant if you don’t know how or when to ask for help.

Relay on those around you, share your thoughts and gain perspective. I believe blogs and online interaction are changing the word by creating new virtual communities that provide not just a sense of belonging but a group of people that care. I am super excited that my friend Dan is having a child this week, maybe even as soon as later on today! and thankful that he is one of the many people that are part of my community and extended family. Don’t wait until your problems or worries become to big, share them with those around you. It is one of the keys to happiness.

Defining reality should not be a question for a movie to answer. I loved the movie The Matrix, but the notion of my reality being controlled by a computer is simply too far fetched. Spend enough time dealing with people and you will know that there is no machine powerful enough to handle the input from people’s skewed view of life. Including my own.

I have always liked religion because it has always created more questions for me rather than given me all the answers. I think its mostly due to free will and faith. I love both concepts and I think they are part of what defines reality for me. I have faith on a higher power while knowing that I have the free will to make choices. Destiny and butterfly effect are also very cool concepts to ponder upon when it comes to defining what our reality is.

To me reality is the collision of actions. Words collide and they cause feelings on people. You cannot see the feelings, but you can see the reactions. Reading people’s facial expressions is amazing. The genuine smile after someone tells a joke, the contortion of the face when a liar tries to bluff, The closing of an eyelid which releases sadness of a tear rolling down someone’s face.

When you are interacting with others, please try to take their reality into consideration. It might seem like the saddest or craziest reality, but if you don’t take their rules of play under consideration; communication will not be accomplished. I am amazed by how many only want to live in their little world. Opening up to others and visiting is half the fun this life has to offer.