Aug
27

Hard On

Even though some of my female readers would probably dissagree, I think males deal with hormones just as much as you do and not just during “that” time of the month. We are constantly charged with heavy doses of testosterone which makes us be prone to animalistic instincts like getting excited by the violence in the UFC or admire boobage wherever it presents itself.

Males spend most of their teenager years trying to learn how to handle erections. Its probably one of the toughest parts of going through puberty to have to deal with erections that we cannot either control nor take care of. This lead to one of the more weird instances of impromptu “sexual education” in my young life.

We were in Spanish class and the teacher was going on about his lecture. We were a particularly misbehaved group that was not only mean to each other, but also to the teachers. We got in our share of trouble and a lof of highschool was about who could do more mischief at one time or another. As the teacher continued with his lesson which sadly I cannot remember, one of my classmates yelled “Gonzalo (the teacher)” has a hardon.

Laughter ensued and even though all of us could relate since it was an all male school, the teacher was really disturbed by the acussation. His face changed and now that I remember the incident as an adult I can imagine how mortified he was. Back then I did not know the difference between a “shower” and a “grower.” Gonzalo got visually more upset and redder as the seconds continue to pass. Then he repeated the accusation trying to probably look for a reaction from the culprit but we had our “no snittching” rule in place for quite some time by then.

Then he went on a long tirade about how the penis multipies in size during an erection and seemed even close to just losing it during it. He looked so upset that we stopped laughin altogether and just listened about how if he had a hardon we would have “really” noticed it. He eventually cooled off and continued the lecture but it was an intersting reaction by an adult losing its cool over an obvious erroneous claim of “hard on.”

As adults we learn how to control erections and don’t walk around with a full flag pole salute unless we are about to perform; but during those teenage gears where if the wind hits just the right way we sported one it was a lot harder (lol pun) to conceal. Heavy books seemed to always be a good cover, but it was rather embarrasing when it was not Gonzalo that got called out for a “chubby” (not sure why but that word when referring to an erection still makes me giggle) but one of us. I certainly would not want to deal with aunt “flo” coming to visit every month, but uncontrolled erections were no fun to deal when during those years.

Jul
24

Fired because wife is a Porn Star

I am actually proud that one of my readers is an actual adult sex worker. I have never been in the position to use a sex worker, but I am not opposed to pr0n at all. I don’t find it to be something dirty or shameful. I also think that everyone has baggage when coming into a relationship and being an adult film star is no different to me than having had to work in McD’s. Two close friends have dated adult dancers in the past, and I would never think less of someone that did what they had to do to survive. It is party because I believe that people use sex in a marriage as currency are no different than prostitutes. I know some people’s morals are different, but what you did on your past and is not prosecuted by law and your spouse does not mind should not be anyone elses business.

How the city council in Fort Myers Beach, Florida came to the conclusion that their city manager’s wife’s past made him unfit to do his job is beyond me. Their reasoning was that it would bring attention and distraction to the city, and by them firing the dude it did just that.

We all have different things that are willing to compromise in a relationship, and if this dude can handle being married to a porn star, then good for him. To have him not be able to hold a job because of that reason is pretty ridiculous to me. We live in a society where someone that kills another human being while driving intoxicated can go ahead and continue to earn millions, but we don’t let someone that married a porn star work?

I wonder how the city council found out and if they had to verify it during their closed door meeting.

Apr
21

Same Sex Marriage

Sunday, Miss California might have thrown away the chance to become Miss USA. She certainly did not get “fabulous” Perez Hilton’s vote. While I could sit here and talk about the legitimacy of an event that uses Mr. Hilton as a judge, I do think the spectacle raised a good issue that seems to be getting hotter and hotter because now Iowa and Vermont have legalized same sex marriage.

I wrote about this topic a while ago and if anything my belief that we should allow two people to enter this kind of union regardless of sex is even stronger now.

To even enter this discussion I now ask people the following question. Do you believe that being gay is a choice or innate?

The gay people I have talked to have always told me how difficult a live as an openly gay person can be, and that many people would not chose that life. While there has to be exceptions to every rule, for me it is the way that you are born. From what I have read, science tends to back that up also. I have formed this opinion over years and friendships, however the thing that tipped the scale over was that most gay people I have talked to believed were born that way. People like Ted Haggard might believe that those “impulses” is something that can be “cured,” but I think it only leads to pain and deceit.

I believe that fighting to keep people from getting married is a waste of energy. Proclaiming that it should be only between a man and a woman is a pretty weak argument in today’s world. I understand that government sees the potential for children as the basis for the language in marriage law, but I certainly think that more and more people chose not to have children but still enter the covenant of marriage.

I think conservatives should really concentrate on how to keep marriages together before they start telling other people what to do or not to. Divorce to me is a way bigger problem than same sex marriage. The only marriage prevention I would like to see is letting people that are too young or unprepared for the commitment enter into marriage. Educating people before they get into marriage I think would prevent a lot of divorces, maybe even discourage some from even entering into them, but this is a topic for some other day.

Perez Hilton is someone I don’t particularly like and actually think he helps fuel the whole celebrity culture that swallowed what used to be pop culture. However, he does have a point when he says that Miss California should be trying to unite rather than to give her personal opinion when giving the Miss USA stage. Same sex marriage should be legal for many reasons, and we need to start making this a human issue and not a gay issue. Homosexuals are humans and should be allowed the same rights.

Mar
08

Watchmen (*)

If you are a fan of the graphic novel, under the age of 18 or offended by genitalia stop reading now. I went to see this movie as a complete virgin to the series. I had heard nothing about Watchmen, which surprised me because I thought I knew a little more about comics than your average person. I am not sure if reading the comic book before would have made this movie better, but I think that people that judge it with those eyes might be a little more kind. I don’t think so though, because even though I like Superman and Spider Man a lot, the most recent movies sucked.

If you are never going to watch this movie, then continue reading because I am about to tear it apart… along with probably some of the comic book and probably make a couple of enemies along the way… but hey, I voted for Obama and that already lost me friends, so what is another couple just because I thought a movie was completely ghey.

The superhero genre is getting a little over saturated. I think Dare Devil and Electra started to show us that, and well from then on we have seen a series of crap where the only golden nugget has been The Dark Knight. Everything else as movies has been a pile of crap, and Watchmen seriously felt like stepping on steaming poo.

I would like to start by what I did like. I think that Jackie Earle Haley as Walter Kovacs / Rorschach is impeccable. He kept the movie flowing and I was waiting to see what he was going to say next every single time that he appeared on screen. His character was the only one that seem to have not only depth but any type of likability. Even as a very flawed human being he was still able to be someone you wanted to survive, but he ended up getting blown to pieces because of the greater good.

For a second imagine a world where Superman does not put Lex Luthor in jail, but rather becomes his ally because he thinks humanity is so flawed that what is 15 million people’s death if billions can be saved in the future. In the same train of thought imagine that Batman is not as good of a detective he is, but more of an accountant type that can’t get it up for a beautiful woman, he has to first take the batwing for as spin to regain his manhood that was left hanging along with his cape. The joker is a rapist that is actually allowed to be part of the good guys. All over this comic we see caricatures of other beloved heroes. It is almost like their flaws are being inflated and the painted on top of a canvas mirroring our current paranoia and divisiveness. It is not that the heroes have gone bad, it is more like the heroes were never good.

I get the fact that people live violence and sex. I also think that there is such a thing as too much blood and violence. The blowing up of human bodies is just not something I enjoy seeing, along with attempted rape, bones broken and being exposed through skin and child dismemberment. It did not seem to add anything to the story and the fight scenes just seemed like an excuse to poor some more blood on the camera. In a world already so full of destruction I want to go see a movie that entertains me, not a movie that depresses me.

Every single character is flatter than the pages of the graphic novel that they came from. I am sure the true fans of the series would say that I am missing the point or the satire in the content, but trust me, the package it was delivered on was pretty horrible. Talking about packages, I never though i would see a movie where there would be 4 blue penises on the same frame. If you thought 300 was homoerotic, well there are about 300 frames of penises in this movie. When there was for I had to resist the urge to yell out loud, come on, enough of the blue penises. While there were a couple of bare breasts in the movie, they did not make up for the penis overload, not even one vajajay.

The special effects throughout the movie felt wrong. The camera angles tried too hard to be comic book frames. When the most believable part of an alternate universe is that Nixon stayed in power for three terms, you have serious issues. To me the movie was pretty bad, and it was only somewhat entertaining. I would not even consider this a rental unless you enjoy looking at mans buttocks and full frontal over and over and over.

Jan
23

Sexual Desire

I started writing about sex because of how many of my friends were experiencing a difficult time in their relationship. I never expected to reach more people with it, nor did I expect that a greater percentage of my friends than the ones that had talked to me had been having problems with sex. I don’t claim to be a sex expert, but I do claim to be having a healthy marriage with a healthy sex life. I also know what bad sex is like and what it can do to a relationship.

I was the most surprised when the Sex Workers Outreach Project linked my bad sex post. I then exchanged e-mails with Amanda Brooks who used to be an escort and is now a writer. She said that there were not many man writing about sex the way I was. Then she wrote the following.

One double-standard you almost touched on: it’s okay for a woman to use sex as a weapon in a relationship but not okay for man to have sexual desires – even if he doesn’t act on them. Would love to see your thoughts on that.

This weekend while watching a movie with some of our friends who are a couple, the wife mentioned that her husband’s father used to be a Playboy subscriber. She said that she would not be ok with her husband getting the magazine every month because she knows what the magazine is used for, implying masturbation.

I believe that a man that has sex withheld from him by either his parter or religion is going to find an outlet for it. I know many man use pornography as a outlet for their sexual desires, but this can lead down the road of addiction. Personally exotic dancing does not excite me because I logically know that any attention I am given there is directly related to the money the woman thinks she is going to make, but I think this also can become an addiction if the only positive female attention you get is by paying. I have very limited knowledge on escort services or prostitution but one of my friends has paid for sex before. His experience was positive to the point that he has used them again, but I also believe that it creates a false sense of what sex is supposed to be for a relationship.

Christians think masturbation is a sin because of lust being a sin, however I have not seen a one eyed Christian in a long time. The last sentence being a reference to the following piece of scripture often referenced

Matt 5:28-29 (NIV) [Jesus:] “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

I find that so many people pick and chose what is law from the bible and what is to be updated with the times. Based on this scripture I think many Christian man should be walking around with patches. I personally do not believe that way and have never thought of the bible as a literal book. So what is a man to do that is not getting sex from his wife and his religion is telling him that he should not masturbate?

The reality is that eventually a wet dream will occur just because of physiological reasons. I don’t know if with age the production of semen will decrease making it harder to have a wet dream like it happens while we are in our teens, but I do think that man do end up masturbating and then feeling guilty about it.

Masturbation can be used in a very positive way. Like sex it releases stress and can help the minute man become a 30 minute man. Masturbation is something that can be done together and not stigmatized.

Even in a healthy relationship I think that sexual desire should not be seen as a bad thing. I think that humans have to be stimulated and as woman like to be given flowers and held after sex, man like to also feel desired and admire the female form. Like anything else anything can become an addiction so if porn or masturbation become more important than intimacy with your partner there is a cause of concern. Just never enter the vicious cycle of withholding sex and then making your partner feel guilty when he resorts to masturbation as a way to release tension. (pun intended).

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