Stand Up Comedian?

I think I am funny… yes, you heard it first, I am delusional. However, people do laugh at what I say, even though it is still up for discussion whether it is with me or at me, people do laugh. Recently I have been picking up the habit of listening to stand up comedy a day. It is something I enjoyed since I was a kid listening to the people that would come to the radio morning shows and Colombian stand up comedians.

I have started to listing to a variety and I find that some of them are not that funny, and even though they are not bombing on their shows, they are not getting that much of a reactions. If those dudes can make it, maybe I can too.

My wife has a pretty good sense of humor, and enjoys mine. It started as an inside jokes that some of our every day life occurrences were going to become part of my stand up. The more I said it as a comeback, them more it started to sound like a possibility. I mentioned it to a couple of friends and they said, do it… go to a local place and give it a try. One even said he will look for me and hold me to do it one of these days.

Without even knowing it, I have been working on material in my head for some time now. And unlike most comedians, I am not afraid of having someone else steal it, or do a version of it. I think that if you get bigger laughs from someone else’s jokes its cool… you do have to make it your own though. So with that thought in mind I present you my first bit.

Do you guys like reality TV?
I used to like it, but now I have realized that reality TV really does not exist. With most shows actually being scripted… I know hard to believe that they actually manipulate people into doing or saying things for money. I actually want to create a Reality TV channel… I know what you are thinking, there already is a Reality TV channel, but the one on right now is not my Reality TV channel.

I will have a show that is a group of friends trying to make it through their 20s, and don’t tell me there is already a show called friends or its most recent clone, how I met your mother, I know, I have seen them and they are not reality. Neither of the shows have a token minority friend, sure they all date minorities to show they are cool, but none of them actually have a friend of a different color… and while we are on the subject, when the being Jewish become a color? I hardly think that not eating a tasty animal like pork puts you on the same level with us “Chicharron” eaters, most Jewish people can keep their last name a secret and still pass for “white.”

Getting back to my real friends show, besides having real multiculturalism in my show, there will be real arguments. Friends will lose friends over money not being paid. Friends will help each other move and destroy and build backyard structures. Friends will forget their wallets when time to pay for dinner will come. When friend date each other the whole group has to break apart and take sides, and the baby mama drama will be real.

My reality TV channel will also have real commercials. None of these commercials that show beaches, flower fields and puppies, I am talking about real life. This is how I would advertise products, come with me.

A kid is trowing a huge tantrum and resists to go to bed, at first you would think I have already seen this in another channel, they are just advertising their Super Nanny show, but just wait. The kid is now running around crying and refusing to go to bed… then suddenly the kid stumbles and passes out… Voice over comes on, Super Drowsy Children Benadryl, because you also deserve a good night of sleep.

Real advertisement, for real life…

So what do you guys think? funny? I have a couple of more things for the bit and it is a work in progress, but give me some feedback.

Box Office Number Ones of 2007

One of my non resolutions this year is to start reviewing movies again. I really slacked in 2007 not just on movie reviewing but also watching. We have recently found a place where movies are only 4 bucks for matinée and 6 dollars even on weekends for new movies. So here is a list that I took from the wikipedia and gave myself the title of reviewer or the number one box office hits of 2007. Somebody better buy a freaking DVD from Amazon after all the link building I did.

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The Simpsons Movie (****)

buy at Amazon.com

Spider Pig, Spider Pig, made about 72 Mil. While I do not want to ruin this movie for anyone, I really want to… I want to talk about every single piece of hilarious comedy so that someone can tell me if I have missed anything.

The Simpsons are an institution now, they are even the subject of college courses. The same way some kids grew up with Harry Potter, I grew up with Bart. I do agree that the wizard is a lot cooler than the underachiever, but Bart is a lot funnier and his first full frontal is pure hilarity.

There was a lot of political statements and the humor was better than Family Guy but did not need to be over the top. It really captured the old feeling of watching The Simpsons when I was a lot younger. Bea reviewed the movie too, go see what she had to say. We went to the theater with some friends and then enjoyed some sushi and gellato :)

You need to go out and see this movie this week before people ruin it for you. Nobody dies on this one… or do they?

The Simpsons Movie.

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Transformers Bee-otch (****)

buy at Amazon.com

It has been a while since I had this much fun watching a movie at the theater. After the horrible experience that was Spiderman 3 I did not want to hope for a blockbuster anymore. Transformers however exceeded all expectations 10 times over.

I really think you should watch this movie as soon as possible so I will not talk about the story that much. What I can say is that they do give all of us geeks our taste of nostalgia while blowing the doors out of any other movie out there. I think that Transformers is going to be the best movie out this summer because I just got out of the theater and I already want to go see it again.

The CGI, music, comedy and even the acting was very well executed. The laughs were followed by non stop action and the robots did not look cheezy, they looked cool and not out of place. Stop wasting time reading the internet and go watch this movie!

Transformers.

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Borat! (****)

Borat!: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is one of the best movies I have seen this whole year. While at times it is hard to see how ideotic middle America can be at times, the movie makes you laugh out loud at the stupidity of some of the people in this country. Whether completely staged or somewhat real, the interactions of Borat with the American people are priceless.

The movie has an endless supply of quotes, Sexytime, Vagin, and YES the soundboard is HERE. I have to say that this movie is a must see, and believe me you will be offended but not too much. I mean if you want to fend off the evil Jewish cockroaches you just need to throw money at them. Just keep in mind that actor Sacha Baron Cohen is Jewish.

Don’t wait another minute, check out your local listings and go watch it… NOW!

buy at Amazon.com

Borat!.

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