Jumper (**)

Jumper
I am still trying to decide if I should recommend going to the theater for this one or just making it a rental. I only open with that statement because from this review you might get the sense that I hated the movie, but even though it has many flaws it is still somewhat entertaining action movie.

I am sure that the book is more complete, but the movie script seemed like someone had rolled the dice of a movie plot game. Think of the movie guy’s voice and use his voice to read the following. Two sides fight a battle through history, a neglected child who is bullied as a kid turn out to have powers, from growing up in a small town to a big city, a new hero is born.

I was hoping that Heyden Christensen was going to redeem himself for making Darth Vader uncool, but I think he is not as good of an actor as I had hoped. I first saw him in life as a house, and he showed some promise there. It could just be that the script was not that good, but I have not read the book and might be just giving the material too much credit.

The problem is that the main character is not a hero, the characters are very one dimensional, the plot is at best confusing. Samuel Jackson used to be one of my favorite actors because I thought you could deliver a monologue like no other, but since the Star War retooling he has been giving crappy lines. In this movie he says the same line at least tree times, “Only God Should have the power.” I am almost sure that this is significant in the book, as probably the sacrificial knife to kill jumpers is, but you never get the information on the movie.

What did work was the action. The special effects are done very well and never really distracting. Besides a car scene there are no moments where you go, that’s BS. The fight scenes leave you wanting more, and overall the movie smells of sequel. I think that if you can find a cheap theater to go watch it at, it is not a bad movie. As long as you expect just action and no real plot, y ou will have a good time.

Box Office Number Ones of 2007

One of my non resolutions this year is to start reviewing movies again. I really slacked in 2007 not just on movie reviewing but also watching. We have recently found a place where movies are only 4 bucks for matinée and 6 dollars even on weekends for new movies. So here is a list that I took from the wikipedia and gave myself the title of reviewer or the number one box office hits of 2007. Somebody better buy a freaking DVD from Amazon after all the link building I did.

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Transformers Bee-otch (****)

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It has been a while since I had this much fun watching a movie at the theater. After the horrible experience that was Spiderman 3 I did not want to hope for a blockbuster anymore. Transformers however exceeded all expectations 10 times over.

I really think you should watch this movie as soon as possible so I will not talk about the story that much. What I can say is that they do give all of us geeks our taste of nostalgia while blowing the doors out of any other movie out there. I think that Transformers is going to be the best movie out this summer because I just got out of the theater and I already want to go see it again.

The CGI, music, comedy and even the acting was very well executed. The laughs were followed by non stop action and the robots did not look cheezy, they looked cool and not out of place. Stop wasting time reading the internet and go watch this movie!

Transformers.

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Spiderman 3 (*)

Spiderman 3 does not suck, it blows, and not a little… it blows hard. I do not even know where to start with this mess called a movie. I guess we should first talk about what was actually good. The movie`s CGI was very well done. The humor that was injected into the movie also worked, even though it was almost too random. There was a couple of moments with some jump out of your sit surprises that were also a nice touch.

I read somewhere that this movie cost about 500 million dollars including the advertising campaign and I do believe it. I think they spent about 300 million in tears alone, the other 200 were to make Spiderman emo. The movie was very poorly edited making the action look like the filler that the drama was supposed to be. It really bothers me when a movie insults my intelligence and Spiderman 3 did just that. I know that revenge is wrong, I do not need every character in the movie sound like a PSA about how bad it is. I also do not need actors with lines that feel read out of a cue card and there was quite a bit of that. Did these people prepare for the roles?

Venom is such a cool character, and having Tofer play it had the potential to make it memorable. While they did try to build the character, they failed miserably. We did not have a chance to either hate or like the guy, it was almost like we had to just laugh at him but not quite engage him. Sandman was another story… he could have been completely CGI and I would have probably been more impressed with a drawing delivering the lines.

Peter Parker from the first two movies was gone, and not just due to the transformation when he came in contact with the alien substance. He did so many things that were not showing his human side but his stupid side. He also became a “celebrity” drunk with fame, which I guess could be a cliche for our times, that should only be reserved by a superhero like the flash. Mary Jane was the girl next door even in the second movie, but in this one she turned into someone that they tried to make you feel sorry for. She did not fight emotionally for Spiderman at all… she expected him to use his super powers to read her mind. Their relationship started to feel very superficial and lacked the depth that it was built up in the other movies.

I also felt like I was watching a Mexican Novela from all the tears. I think every character cried at least a couple of times, and Spiderman was either crying or fixing his hair to look emo. It was also a horrible version of emo, it was more of an 80`s emo than a My Chemical Romance emo.

The movie was also full of stock scenes from the walking down the street to a cool song while doing a little dance, to the cooking and dancing on the kitchen scene. I was very disappointed that creativity was sacrificed and I don`t even know for what. It was so bad at the end that when I was supposed to be crying because of loss I was laughing at the comment my friend made… “He should have totally have said B.F.F. (Best Friends Forever).” Save your money, I even wasted money to go see it on the IMAX and it is not even worth the rental. Pardon me, I need to go puke.

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Spiderman 3.

Logtar & DeGuia’s Movie Review

Logtar and Daniel DeGuia, discuss the movie Equilibrium and hopefully make you want to watch it. Also why Christian Bale sucks. Go give it a listen.

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Equilibrium.

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