- Logtar's Blog -

This is a good news, bad news type of situation. I will give you the good news first, we have a new fridge and dishwasher! YEY! the bad news is that delivery was not satisfactory.

I was very excited when the phone call from the people scheduling delivery came through. They said they would be there between 4:30 and 7:00 P.M. I listened to the message again to make sure I was hearing right and said, cool, it will not interrupt the workday. I did not foresee what a late delivery really meant.

The first delivery dude showed up and was friendly enough. We handled the paperwork and he said that it would take about an hour for the installation. I said no problem without knowing what was coming next. It was a big learning experience how when people do a lazy job, service just breaks down.

The second delivery guy shows up and looks to be in a foul mood. Race did play a factor here because the dude fell pray to the “wrong side of the counter effect.” Most people won’t experience that, but when you are of a certain ethnicity, and a person of that same ethnicity performs a service for you, a lot of times they look at you like you should be right next to them working there and not being served. Its not just Spanish people either, I have confirmed this with other ethnicity as well.

I can disarm most of those situations by just breaking out the Spanish and being personable, but the dude came into our condo without greeting anyone and just would not make eye contact and looked like a dragon about to spray flames all over the counter. I was still willing to be personable but then he went too far. He asked where the switch box was and I knew it was in a closet but forgot which one so I did not direct him immediately and that seemed to rub him the wrong way.

Instead of asking me to turn off the kitchen breaker he proceeded to take control of the situation and flipped every single switch in the box without even asking first if it was ok. I should have said something as he started the flipping frenzy, but I decided to just let him do his thing and get him out of there as quickly as possible because I was not in a don’t mess with me mood. Hindsight is 20/20 and this is where my learning experience began.

Dishwashers do not empty all the water out of their system until they have finished the cycle. It seems pretty obvious, but when they were doing their Christmas light spectacular with the switch box they had the dish washer on. What had broken on it was the motor that makes the water shooter thingie move, it would still fill up with water and purge it. The proper thing to do would have been to let it finish the cycle so the water was purged out of the system. Another option would have been to hold the exit house up to not pour water all over the place… they failed at both of those.

At first I thought it was just some water on condo floor which they asked me to get an “old towel” for. I was like whatever, its just a little water and the outside balcony is concrete so in my head they would just let the water run out of the dishwasher there. I went back to getting killed in Halo while the new dishwasher was being installed.

The installation was finished and the fridge was in place. The pissed off dude continue his mood but I just ignored him. Then I hear (we will call him Charlie to protect his real name) having an argument in the courtyard with the first delivery guy. He had removed a pin from the mechanism that closes the entry doors automatically to leave it open during the delivery, but he left the door wide open during the whole time they were doing the installation. Charlie was not happy with that but was even more furious about the water tracks left in all they common areas they had crossed. There was no draining of the water as I had assumed. They could have cared less… I am sure they are both nice people and it was just a late Friday delivery that made them both be careless and just not want to do things the right way.

Lesson learned. If I need something delivered from now on I would ask for the earliest appointment available. I will also not let them “do their thing” and hover like an old vulture while the work is performed. As I get older I now why we become so jaded and annoying as customers. Bad service really makes you less and less trusting of people that should have common sense and perform their job well, even if they will only see you once in their lives.

This weather is making me so excited about our trips this year. Even though my wife is going to travel a lot more than I well with a couple of conferences she is attending, I think we have trips to California, Michigan, Florida and Colombia planned for the year! We also cannot wait to go back to KC and visit friend for another long weekend. We also have people coming into town in the next couple of weeks and more in the coming months. So what does this have to do with the haters?

Last Friday I was at lunch with a group of coworkers, one of whom recently got engaged and could not be happier. His honeymoon is going to be possibly in Iceland where he has been before and highly recommends. Someone that works closer with him brought up how he had shown restrain when another coworker in one of the lunchrooms went into a long diatribe about marriage being a mistake instead of congratulating someone about their happy moment.

I think a huge degree of those types of comments comes from not being satisfied with your own life.

I remember during our holiday party one of my “area” coworkers was chatting with some of her friends. This freaking company is huge so my “coworkers” is a very lose term. I met the people I hang out with at management courses but they work on other floors. I still talk to the people that sit around me. My team is never in the office all at the same time, I do wish I some day get to go to Singapore for a meeting. So her friends are people from all different floors as well and she introduced me, most I have seen on the halls or elevators, but some I had never seen before. I was the only guy in the conversation group when suddenly the conversation turned from “who had slept with who” to man hating extravaganza. I excused myself to get more finger food and moved on.

Putting energy into hating things is just showing how much you either miss or truly love those things.

I have been married before as most of you know, and also had my share of horrible relationships. I still believe in marriage and also on staying single. I believe that whatever works for you is what you need to do. I also don’t care if you marry someone of the same sex or not, again, it is your choice. I gave up smoking years ago, but even when I am in a situation with smokers, I try not to be the person that say “smoking smells horrible and its unhealthy, you should quit and live a better smelling life.” That would make me a huge hypocrite since I used to smoke them and enjoy them. I just simply can’t hate smokers because I made the decision to not be a part of them anymore.

If you have not heard about the sad story of a girl being bullied to the point that she took her own life, you should at least skim the story. It is depressing to think that someone would take their own lives because they don’t see beyond the tormented tomorrow. I like to think of suicide as a permanent solution to a passing problem, but I know how it feels to dread going to school every morning knowing a bully is just waiting to make your life miserable. Sad part is that bullies don’t stop at high school level, some of them continue into adulthood.

Bullies are people that not only physically abuse others, but also call them names, start rumors, talk behind their backs and plant seeds on other people’s mind about the person. I had to deal with several of them growing up, thankfully one of them taught me how to deal with it.

One of my close friends in high school actually had family that lived across the street from me. We used to hang out outside of school, and one of his cousins was a good friend. However, in school we actually did not hang out because we were part of two different cliques. We would still talk, but when it came to group activities each one of us would go with our own little group. One of the guys in his group was probably one of my biggest bullies.

My friend used to play interference quite often, but there would be the opportunity that I was one on one with the bully and he would just go off. After one of the many destruction of property perpetrated on me I confronted the bully and asked him what had I ever done to him personally? His reply was simple and very accurate… “You are not a gold coin, not everyone is going to be happy to find you in their path.” While it did not explain the motivation for his constant name calling, taunting, etc, it did open my eyes at a young age about how some people are just simply not going to like you.

His words helped me heal, and I use that idea even now. People might learn something about you, or simply assume something and start disliking you. I have often been labeled arrogant because I am firm with what I believe. It does not mean that I am not open minded to ideas, but you better come with some knowledge before you try to change my mind on a subject. Even back then that was part of the problem, that I did very good at school and had a tendency to become a teacher’s pet because of my age even though I did not do anything to suck up. It did not help that one of my aunts went the same University as two of my teachers.

I have read various articles about bulling and with this sad event, more and more are popping up. I don’t know where bulling really comes from and I think its different in many situations. I think someone that is easy to isolate by being new to a group or younger as it was in my case is easy to target. I also think that it is a way for the bully to exert control on that person or on a group. A lot of bullies claim to not know they are being bullies, and I am not so sure about that.

The internet age has made it easier for kids to write garbage about one another. Even recently a Mom was involved on some MySpace drama that also ended in tragedy. There is really no accountability for the lies that can be spread in cyberspace. It is sad that our society is going that way in terms of interaction and that the “mean girls” rule the schools.

I have found many people on the road of my life that I did not find to be gold coins. The rocks in my shoe that I had to deal with for extended of periods of time have always eventually been removed. Keep that in mind when you encounter a bully, it will not be forever. I certainly dislike bullies and they are only as powerful as you make them out to be. The easiest way to deal with them is to remove that power, just simply don’t pay attention to them.

I am not sure if new laws are the answer, and I am not sure if the incarceration of teenagers will make this problem go away or simply make some people feel better because now they did something. I think our society is more comfortable with ridicule and judgment of others, than acceptance and welcoming of others.

The best thing to take power away from a bully is to have strong bonds with your friends and family. If I did not have the friends I had growing up, or a family that was there to support me through those years it would have been a lot worse for me. If you are ever in a situation where you are bullied, report it to the administration and get your parents involved. It is serious, it gets worse if you hide it. Talk to someone, because nobody has the right to call you names, or touch you in any way without your consent. Remember suicide is not a fork on the road, its a dead end. As sucky as life gets to be sometime, there will always be better days ahead.

“There are no stupid questions” is a statement that fits most situations, but for some reason most people today know everything and want to correct your wicked ways.

I grew up Catholic and still practice. I am sure there are plenty of bad Catholics out there and I am certanly not a good one or a perfect one. I a very biased when it comes to this religion because most of the priests and monks that I have met, have been very educated and amazing people. The teachers I had that were clergy really wanted me to learn how to think on my own and I learned to be critical of ideas and just accept them.

Some people take religion and mix it with spirituality and a hint of brainwashing and come up with a shield of vengence. I don’t have an issue with what people believe or don’t believe. In fact I would say there is a good portion of my friends that don’t believe in anything but respect what I believe in. I am developing a dislike for people that follow what others say like sheep, and I am starting to lean towards blaming religion for some of it. When you get used to just taking what someone says and not digesting it and truly processing it, it really bothers me. Like the preacher that empties their congregation’s wallet and tells them to give more, hat God will privide because they don’t need money; but himself drives a jaguar and a harley on sunny days.

There is a religion; that I will not name those familiar will know what I am talking about, that is against blood transfusion. Years ago had to become very familiar with the “rule” because I loved one was going to refuse part of their care because “religious” beliefs. Thankfully rationa thought was achieved and the episode was over, but I will never forget what almost happened. Ever since I have kept my distance from that denomination.

I know some people of that denomination and recently I was on my way to donate blood. I love doing it whenever I can because it saves lives. Started back in highschool and whenever it has been convenient I would do it. I stopped it for a while when I lived in Michigan becas my doctor was totally against the local organization that managed the blood, but now that I am here in Chicago again, lifesource is a great organization and they make it very convenient.

As I mentioned, I was going to donate blood and what first came out was a very amazed, “You do that?”

I answered, “Yesp, every time I can”

Then the ignorance (maybe even willing) surfaced, “What about the infections? you can catch something.”

Now, I know this person is of that particular denomination so I kind of knew where the comment was coming from… but I was surprised as how the argument was being presens… seriously, I am going to catch something from donating blood? I held back and simply replied. “You can probably catch a worse infection from a door handler.” and went on my merry way.

I never thought that someone would actually try to discourage me from giving blood with missinformation, but there you have it. So I wanted to counter that missinformation with some cool information that hopefully you alreay knew about.

Taken from LifeSource’s website.