So I have been itching to get a new tattoo, and it has been a very difficult experience so far.

The last time I got a tat was in Chicago. Both of the shops that I got work done at were very accommodating. Even Jade Dragon which is one of the busiest shops that I have ever been to took care of me the day I came in. That was eight years ago when tattoos were a little less main stream. While some people might disagree with the last statement, I make it because know we have reality TV tattoo shows… and not just one, but several.

While in Michigan I visited a couple of shops, but I did not get a good vibe from either. One of the artists was very talented, I guess the itch was not intense enough back then. A tattoo is something so permanent that you have to trust that your vision and the artist’s talent do match.

I did not expect to walk into a shop here and get a tattoo, I don’t want something that simple. I also know that price has to be figured out once the details of the piece are decided. This is not my first tattoo, but every shop I walk into treats me like a number. I never got a corporate feel from a tattoo shop before, but I am getting that feeling more and more from the shops that I have visited in this city.

I was able to get the name of a couple of artists and I have not had a chance to meet them yet, and maybe that will be my “in.” I almost feel like a weekend warrior on the land of ink. Did everyone getting tats mean that now we are going to have MacTattoo Parlors?

The people at the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicle) hold a certain power that they use as a weapon. They know what forms you need. They hold onto that power like it is their sword, and they would never dare to let you know what you need until they have you right in front of them. Why? Well, they want to see your face when they tell you do not have the correct form. That is why they are alive, to see the face of a disappointing person that has to go back to obtain the correct form.

They wear a facade of anger, but internally they are happy, happy that they can tell you no, happy that they have that power, happy that they are making you have to take a little number again and wait for the seemingly random order you are being called on.

That’s right, even to have a question answered you need a number. Why, because again, the interaction that most business have handed to machines to deal with it is still kept alive at the DMV. Instead of being in an endless loop of number pressing, you have a warm body in front of you ready to tell you, get back to the line.

There is simply nothing you can do about it. You need your license or your vehicle titled, you have to go to them. Even though it would seem to be a simpler process handled online, they still want you to come in and bring as many documents as you can so they can have the pleasure to tell you none of the 26 exhibits you have brought are sufficient. And no, it is not allowed to have something faxed, even if it is from another state department, even if will take 3 weeks for it to be obtained by mail, even if you were willing to give a DNA sample.

It is futile to deal with them, it is futile to try to reason, it is futile to try to resist… you don’t even know it, you have already been assimilated.

In other news, I have a Kansas license plate now, YAY, no more dealing with Michigan!

I have been on a funk for a couple of weeks. My last real (out of the country) true vacation was probably 8 years ago to Cancun. I had other trips in between, but they were either a week that was too busy or went to fast, or a long weekend where the “on call” button was pressed.

I have issues with stopping my brain sometimes. I keep on thinking and thinking about things, and if I catch a bad train, it seems to just take me to the land called the funk.

My grandfather passing away is one of the hardest things I had to go through. I cannot even imagine how hard it is to lose a parent or a sibling. My wife and some of my friends have experienced this and I cannot imagine doubling, let alone multiplying the pain I feel for that loss. Losing loved ones scares me, my Mom being sick recently scares me… but she herself told me that we must enjoy the time we have together and not think of the what ifs.

I don’t want to waste my time here on earth. I also don’t want to not enjoy it by over thinking everything.

Yesterday I realized how lucky I am. I have been learning a lot from my wife on how to deal with situations. She has many good things to say about her father and how he dealt with what life sent his way. That helps. In fact, it helps a lot. Also knowing that she has gone through some difficult losses in her life and she is still able to smile gives me strength. She is a good listener and has the ability to process information that sometimes comes out of me all jumbled and still make me feel understood.

A conversation with my friends at lunch yesterday, one with my Mom, another one with my sister and then with my wife really broke me out of the funk. I was able to get off the wrong train, that as one of my friends put it made me all “Emo.” I saw how lucky I am to have people that care so much about me. I might have lost the greatest cheerleader of my life when my grandpa passed away, but that does not mean that I still don’t have a team of them behind me.

Not too long ago I saw a TV show about video games. It highlighted that new multi player games that allow a user to be part of a team with specific tasks helps build the teamwork mentality.

I started to think of my corporate world experience and the more and more I thought about my past experiences the more I saw that teamwork is often talked about but seldom really implemented.

We live in a very individualistic society, and no matter how much corporate America tries to sell us the idea that there is no “I in teamwork” we still don’t get what that really means.

At the first opportunity people try to make themselves look better, or when there is blame to be passed around the finger pointing begins. There is the exception of the person that for some reason likes to take the fall, but because of their strong character they get a get out of jail free card every single time.

I think the breeding ground for teamwork is sports, but this country has diverted from actual keeping score for kids to everyone is a winner. I think this further enhances the notion on every kid that they are the best and they have to fend for themselves.

Life can be cruel at times, as can work environments, but a good team behind you is what gets you through. In life it is your family and friends when they selflessly rally around you when you need them. In the corporate world when something goes wrong and the team does the best it can to make the project work.

Maybe multi player video games will help people understand that every role in a team is important and it is ok to just be good at one thing. Maybe sports at the little kids level will start keeping score again; Because in a society of only winners, everyone ends up being a loser.

Even though this has nothing to do with Thom Hartmann’s Hunter vs Farmer theory about the origin of Attention Deficit Disorders, it is an interesting read and somewhat related. This rant is more about one of the differences between my wife and I, that could also be talked about in a battle of the sexes way. I hate shopping.

I do not mind going to the store and get groceries, or even go get a book while 100 people are in line, however the whole window shopping, see if this purse goes with these shoes kind of shopping drives me nuts. So I started to think of me as a hunter and Bea as a gatherer.

I go to a store with a list of targets in mind. Mind you, I have been looking for a copy American History X at the used DVD store for a while, but a hit list none the less. Once I enter, even if I am just browsing I have things in mind that I want to find. Even at my favorite electronics store, I can only browse for so long.

When my wife browses, time stops for her and a trap 70’s superhero shoe style starts running in my head. We have tried to split up and go on our own little trips through the stores with ill effects. I spent 2 hours at a store that I had already browsed the first 15 minutes, while my wife was just getting started. She only had time to strategically locate what earrings go with what sunglasses.

I think this is a basic difference between man and woman. No matter how busy a woman is, she is diverted to her gathering ancester the minute she sees shoes. Do the test, take your significant other shopping at a shoe store and set them free. You will have looked at, sport shoes and dress shoes isles and she will just have started at the shoes that are not made out of hemp but still called Mary Janes.

One of the blogs that I enjoy reading the most is HitCoffee, partly because it is very well written by a fellow geek, but mostly because I can get several topics sparked by just one of the posts there. A recent post about the tango that developers, QA and project managers dance, made me think about what I have learned about software development during my career and I commented…

Every programmer that I have met thinks that they are awesome software designers, however I would venture to say that only about 10% are truly good at it.

Will replied…

Software developers have an amazing capacity for arrogance in general. They really seem to believe that everything would be better if they were running the company. I’ve met MBAs with more humility than a lot of programmers… and I’m thinking of some programmers around here that I really like!

I wrote my first line of code when I was about nine years old. Now it is probably pretty common that a kid that young will customize their myspace or even write a full html page, but back then it was not that common. I was lucky that I went to a school that had IBM clones that we were taught how to use. One of the surprising things about the U.S. education system to me was that even though they had the resources, the computer classes I took here were actually way behind from what I learned in Colombia at a high school level. I will some day write more about that disparity, but I just wanted to give myself some credibility here, when it comes to computers and writing code, I have been around it for quite some time.

We all think of doctors and lawyers as the ultimate arrogant professions, and while some of them probably are, a lot of people in the IT field have a god complex. I have met several programmers that like to use the term programming god. Some of them truly think of themselves as better than others simply because they can read computer code, or have memorized every single intricacy and function of a programming language.

I have no idea why I was spared that faith of becoming arrogant about programming. I do think I am above average when it comes to programming and I am also excellent at bug tracking and solving. That does not make me a better person, just someone that has patience and good logic. I however respect people in other professions inside and outside of my field.

The challenge that companies face is that communication breaks down as soon as their departments stop talking to one another. I was hired at one company because I could potentially bridge a broken relationship between marketing and development, and while I was able to facilitate the running of the projects I was involved in the relationship never seemed to get better. You had web developers trying to be designers and vice versa.

The good software architects that I have met were actually poor programmers. Big picture people tend to either forget about the details or the users. Teams of people seem to make this issue less painful, but all parties need to be truly involved and willing to comprimise.

I learned early in my career that the more I simplified the software I wrote, the more people like the features I implemented. Color coding things has always been something people respond to because it gives them another way to memorize things. I also try to apply a the little principle that computers are better at remembering things, but humans are still superior at make decisions. When I have to leave something up to the user I balance it on that scale.

Almost every programmer that has been in a company for a while thinks they understand the business side of things. However, the business side of any company is a living entity that constantly changes, the bigger the company the bigger the changes. Users are very clever and will use features in ways that they were not intended… do developers then adapt them to do the right thing or remove them?

That is when I think some of the disconnect happens. In situations like this it should be a consensus between the development team and the business that ultimately dictates the direction. Most of the times it is only one of the sides that dictates the direction and that leads in the best scenario to friction and in the worst it least to lost company productivity.

Software development is a lot of times like single life, you date different companies and try to do your best for a while but eventually you want to move on. You feel like you have so much to offer, but you are not appreciated, listened to and could do so much better. The good relations come when you have commitment and truly want to marry a company, truly start to think about what would be best for the company and not what is going to make you seem smart and clever. A programmer can be revered as a genius, but if the software they write is not usable or does not solve the problem it the end its a failure.

Being a positive person can be a bad thing sometimes. Expecting the best out of every situation also has to come with a spoonful of reality. Not everyone is the best they can be, not everyone wants to be the best they can be. This also applies to relationships specially friendships.

One of the hardest things about growing up was realizing that not everyone had the same values as me and it was actually quite complicated. As kids we have this tunnel vision that is comprised of our family, our neighborhood and our school. I had some really close friends that now I realize were just takers, and at times I was even one of them. The first kid around me to have a Nintendo was quite popular until other kids around got one and we went to play at our “real friends” house.

During high school it was also just as hard to find true friendship. One of my best friends during high school and I have not spoken in years even though once in a while I do talk to his family. We both had a similar built, and had light eyes. A lot of people actually thought we were related. Our lives went two different directions after school, I went to college and he kind of jumped around community colleges eventually getting a job at a warehouse. He actually dated a girl we both really like for years to the point that I thought they would be married by now. I found out through his parents that he cheated on the girl with some other woman that he was now dating. I used to spend hours playing basketball with this kid and now my only updates came from his parents.

I also had a similar experience during college. I became close with a lot of people that I now don’t even talk to. However, there I met some of the people that I now call some of my true friends. I started to learn true friends are the ones that you can pick back up as soon as life gives you a chance and with them time feels like it has not stopped.

I have to admit that I was lot older than I should have been when I realized that people have agendas. Some people will do anything to get ahead, some others see relationships as transactions. Even though I did not think that way, I had to get used to that some others do. I also had to learn that building friendships takes work and I like reciprocal relationships. I cannot sustain a one sided relationship because I invest myself too much emotionally.

Since moving to KC I have built some excellent relationships. Some of them if not most are going to be relationships that will hopefully last for the rest of my life. Also recently I came to realize that one of my best friends I have never even shaken hands with. Daniel and I have known each other through our blogs for years now, and we talk and interact more than some of that I do with some of my local friends. I trust and value his opinion and he has already been there for me in some tough moments.

Recently I have started several new friendships. They are all growing at their own pace. I enjoy getting to know people and finding things in common with them. I like my friends to eventually become like my family, relationships are what makes this ride called life worth it… its not about the ride but who you have around you when you take it.