Packaged Deal

This outlet seems to has falter in the last year or so for me. I used to organize my thoughts here quite a bit and it made it interesting when other people were somehow inspired or pissed off by what my inner monologue sometimes came up with. Life changes thought, and the last year saw a lot of changes for me. The most significant to me was the death of someone really close to me which shook me… a lot… a lot more than I sometimes let on. I know how irrational it can sound, but sometimes when my leg falls to sleep for sitting in a weird position on the couch it brings terrible thoughts of ALS and paralysis… i know, irrational, but stills scary.

While a lot in my life has changed, a lot has stayed pretty much the same. I think I have changed a lot more than life around me. Even though I have spent my life preaching about opening your eyes about what is right in front of you, at times I was just as delusional as everyone else seemed. So yea, it still me, still the same rambles, still hoping it makes you think when you read what the weird voices in my head say.

I am still thinking that this place might have run its course and it might be just left to be an old book that I come back and read. Even though some entries are still living and getting comments, overall I don’t create content here like I used to. Some days I want to change that, some others it feels like the medium is tainted like photography still is to me in some levels. Something that you do for fun, should be enjoyed.

Which brings me back to packaged deals. I am told constantly that I deal too much in absolutes. I am aware of this deficiency on my way of thinking. People are not computers, or math equations… even if they do behave as such sometimes. At least that is how I understand some of them. I try, really I do, but seldom do people really tell you what they are really thinking or feeling, and often times people don’t even know how to put into words what they are feeling either.

Friends and groups of friends always come with some added benefits. Sometimes it is that some of them get you access to cool underground parties or a shorter line at the DMV. Other times those same groups of people come with a price, the person that makes everyone uncomfortable but nobody calls out. I always see those as packaged deals, you kind of have to take the good with the bad and just ignore the losses. I know that applies with not just groups, couples, etc but also with people.

Do you take all the good of a person and try to ignore some of the bad, or most of it? Is the friendship really worth it? Is the time investment something that truly will benefit you in the end.

I spent a good part of the first decade in this century figuring out that cutting people that are destructive in your life need to go. They are a waste of energy. What happens when those people come in a package though? What is then the deal breaker? When does a second chance come into place?

Confusing, I know. Maybe that is why I need to write more again. It seems like my brain is quite a mess at the moment. Funny thing is that it isn’t. I am at a very peaceful time at the moment. It is not void of issues and problems like life is, but I am ok with them and with the plans I have in place to move forward. However, the “nice” person in me feels like I should always reach out and give second chances in situations and not call things done. Maybe that is the part of being human that I am so uncomfortable with. You know the pan handle is hot, you know that you should get the oven mitt before you touch it, but how much can a little test touch can hurt?

First Ramble of 2013

- I need to invent a device that lets me post via brain waves… I thought I had already posted this year!
- I went on a cruise and I did not die.
- I am also not deathly ill now… maybe the last time was food poisoning?
- Maybe the seabands do really work.
- Maybe I do have a little of vertigo but more used to it.
- Hoping it stays this way.
- Still torn about the whole cruise thing. The big things that annoyed me before about it are still there.
- The people that serve you there are so underpaid.
- It was nice to have some candid conversations with some of them, truly nice people.
- Cozumel might be my favorite place in the planet now.
- Ceviche might be my hands down favorite food ever too.
- Pescaterian thoughts are swimming in my head.
- People’s bad attitude are something I really want to stay away from in 2013.
- I will be in Chicago soon! WOOT.
- I love having cops for neighbors.
- Nice knowing someone looks over your lootz.
- The more I have to talk about and say, the less I seem to post.
- I really don’t like not feeling like this is a true outlet anymore.
- I might have to start painting.
- Reading abstract art might not be as fun.
- Self censorship.
- Flu sucks… but I am kind of glad that we had it before vacation.
- Sad so many of my friends are suffering through it.
- Sand beaches or Sand! Bitches!

Bottle opener

Almost a month without a rant

- I think this is one of the longest Chester that I have gone without posting.
- Funny thing is that I have tons to talk about, just waiting for the right time.
- Politics is really amazing me right now, from the blind sheep to the flip flopping.
- The nurse spends enough time in a hospital each week to have two family members hospitalized right now, just does not seem fair.
- I hate hospitals already, even more so when they make me sick.
- My immune system still kicks ass, but this weird bug/cold/flu thing lingers enough to make me want to go to the doctor.
- Working on a project for TCCC or The Coca Cola Company.
- It sounds funny when a Colombian says that he has to work some more hours to make that Coke money.
- The irony of inside jokes… I guess.
- Some days I feel like unleashing the inner douche-bag full force on some people.
- There are too many bullies in the world.
- Passive aggressive bullies are the worst.
- You know the ones that don’t get at you directly but try to do it through third parties.
- Come right at me fools, you might get the full douche bag treatment.
- Nuke and I decided that douche bag was ok to use.
- Daniel’s kids are growing up so quick its making me feel old.
- So is my niece, she just turned 12.
- She probably does not know that I got my first tattoo after she was born and it always reminds me of her.
- If you take your under 12 year old kids to a rated R movie, you are a douche bag.
- If you then leave the kids unattended in a movie that just showed sex and guts all over to take a phone call outside the theater, you are a bigger douche bag.
- People like that make me long for totalitarian regimes that will control who and who cannot procreate.
- Sarcasm, is it still lost on most people.
- Humor and wit alone do not make sarcasm funny, the other person has to laugh or get it… otherwise you are just a douche bag.
- We have become regulars at a coffee shop locally… I knew not because of Yelp but because I was greeted by a high five coming in.
- Why can’t the Vietnamese place be open on Sundays?
- Facebook might really change the way we look at relationships completely.
- Its like having TMZ follow just your friends.
- I still use it as my food porn repository.
- I have been thinking about unleashing politics rants… then again, I lost lots of friends the last election.
- I was glad to lose them though.
- Have you seen the Newsroom yet? Sure its fantasy, but it gives me hope that the real republicans are hiding somewhere looking for a way out of the hostage situation their party turned into.
- I am not cool enough to call myself an independent.
- I used to consider myself a republican and a JR Senator from IL changed that in 06.
- I also share views with this rant from The Newsroom, said it back on 08.

Monday Rant

I felt ranty today and started a post but then I figured I might as well just ramble.

- I never thought I would get into the whole renfest dressing up thing, but I now have a hat and an idea for a whole character.
- I guess that is probably the interesting part of the whole dress up thing, the story behind it.
- It keeps your mind occupied and allows you to forget about the election.
- I have been holding back because I don’t want to have to unfriend more people.
- The stupid meter was almost broken recently with people really pushing its measuring limits.
- I am not implying that I am all that smart either, but at least I try to not be stupid.
- When do people just stop trying, maybe some just never tried at all.
- Back to the renfest, I consumed a turkey leg.
- Way more impressed with the apple dumpling.
- I have to write a post about manliness.
- I might actually upgrade to a straight razor shaving in the near future.
- More effort but way better results.
- Ingrown hairs are angry little pains.
- I have some BBQ sauce that I need to mail.
- It taunts me every time I see it and makes me feel like a procrastinator.
- More like I am getting old and forgetful.
- I want to shave all the pets in the house.
- My throat feels like I am going to cough up a hairball every morning.
- It could just be that allergies are getting to me.
- I need to get back into a workout routine.
- I have to find a bar near the house that has the Bears game every Sunday.
- The nurse has a style of cooking totally different than mine.
- I am learning tons of new stuff and coming up with great new ideas.
- We work well together in the kitchen, its like a little dance.
- I am starting to get the itch to go into teaching.
- I knew I would end up becoming one eventually, but I think it might be near.
- First getting set up financially though, then teaching.
- Longboards might be my favorite place to eat fast food.
- Pandas might make me very sleep deprived over the course of this week.
- I love when I write a sentence that seems like should never fit in with reality.

Let’s get ready to RAMBLE!

- It is kind of amazing that my first little project at work had me talking to people in Bogota, Colombia.
- My brain hurt after having to do simultaneous technical interpretation.
- I had done medical stuff before, but technical is a bit harder it seems.
- Maybe I am just out of practice.
- So work is going pretty good.
- I love my nurse!
- I respect her for being able to endure 4 shifts in a row, that is just crazy.
- Every day it gets easier to think about my uncle.
- I truly feel he is resting in peace now.
- My future MiL’s first computer virus was the “Batman” virus.
- Not sure of she was just trolling me.
- Supposedly it displayed a banner on the screen, “HOLY COW, you have The BATMAN virus.”
- She made meatloaf last week.
- MA! the MEATLOAF!
- I skipped soccer on Friday.
- Its a double header and my back was just not into it.
- Appearently our team captain got into it with another chick… like fist flying and stuff.
- Glad I was not there.
- Seriously people, this is amateur soccer.
- I need to start bike riding again.
- And going to the Gym.
- And training the dogs.
- It’s actually really good to be busy.
- Even better to relax a little.
- The nurse and I saw the last Batman movie this week.
- It was hard not to think of the Aurora tragedy.
- The movie was excellent, great acting… lots of possibilities to spin something off.
- Christian Bale still sounds ridiculous when he makes the Batman voice.
- To think the best movies out lately have been superhero movies makes me both happy and sad.
- It seems Hollywood does not have many original ideas.
- Don’t even look at the remakes they are making the next year.
- I spent the weekend with the parentals in law.
- Stopped the shark week madness and made them watch Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.
- Seriously had to stop the madness when I saw a hammer head shark growl underwater.
- There should be a law about movies that bad.
- Mr. Recommendation has a way to get me into all kinds of trouble, both good and bad.
- I am now part of Operation Thermal Reunion board members.
- Yes, I will be working on the site very soon to bring it to the current millennium.
- It screams geocities doesn’t it.
- It is an awesome faith based organization that wants you to play golf.
- Helping firefighters is a great cause.
- I suck at golf.
- I think I make good contact with the ball only a handful of times on 18 holes.
- It did not help that I played soccer late at night the previous day.
- Little sleep makes for horrible golf.
- Did I mention meatloaf already?
- Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

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