- Logtar's Blog -

Both Logtar.com and Betizuka.com are moving host! So, if you get to see this, it means the name servers have not updated yet… once it is moved, you will see some information on the awesome new host!

I used the line a “a child stuck in adulthood” as my blog tagline for quite some time. What many people never understood about it is that I had to do a lot of adult level decisions when I was very young. Not many 16 year old have to talk to a landlord about renting an apartment for their family.

I hated feeling like an adult back then, and even more so now. Before I hit 30 it was easy to just dismiss it as a joke and move on. I have never been able to related maturity with adulthood because of how many people older than me acting like children, and so many kids acting more responsible than they should be for their age.

Coming of age movies always interested me in many levels, also the cultural differences when determining what makes someone a grown up. That is until I recently started to realize that I am an adult. When the grown ups in my life start looking at me for answer, options, and comfort. It really sucks. I don’t want to be an adult.

I don’t think anyone in my family expected my Grandfather to pass away for another 10 year or so. He comes from a very resilient family. One of his older sisters still has a head of full hair and is still very active, probably with many years still to leave in front of her.

This past week was really rough for my whole family. Funerals are very expensive, and funeral homes can treat the process in a very aggressive way. I am not buying a car sir, I am trying to lay my loved one to rest.

The cost was almost 10K by the time it will all be said and done. Nobody had planned for it, because remember, he was going to be with us for at least 10 years.

Most people don’t even like to bring up that conversation at all. Even in the face of what is going on, some people won’t decide if they want to be buried in the ground or cremated. Yes, both of those options have dollar signs attached to them.

Our family was able to pull together and take care of the costs. We also had many generous friends pitch in. It does make me think about my future, mortality and the costs associated with it.

Nobody likes to think about it, but it is something we should all plan for.

On a side note, being in a hospital in the middle of the night with no cash is not a good idea… specially when the change machine had coins jammed inside it.

I’m not a Justin Beiber fan (XO Appearently is), but I don’t want to beat up the kid either. I find it interesting that he started on YouTube and that he may not end up as crazy as BSpears did. This post is about my own baby-making. If you follow the wife you know by now that we have started the fertility doctor process.

The first visit was one of the best experiences at a doctor I have ever had. The dude was friendly and maybe because it is kind of a business, we want what he is selling.

Kids have been kind of weird subject for me. I grew up around kids my whole life. I love the kids in my family, and I even have a high tolerance for them. They do drive me nuts when they are at potential of hurting themselves and parents kind of let them be… kind of like the whole, oh they will break their head and get up again, they are kids. I have no clue if I will be like that, or if I will be a total nut that will turn my future kid into a bubble girl or boy… who knows.

What we do know is that we are not going to let this process ruin our relationship or bankrupt us. We are aware of the monetary involvement and adoption is an awesome option. We are both open to it and want a chance at being parents either way.

I was a step-parent for a period of time, and let me tell you that it was an amazing experience. I will never forget the day that a teacher actually approached me and told me that thanks to my involvement the kid was better at school. Looking back, that was the only reason that I stayed in a bad relationship for so long… and the pain is mostly about disappointing a little guy more than anything else.

I was 50/50 with kids before that. I knew what the whole “I want a baby now craze” can do to a relationship. I also knew what a divorce, and before that an unhappy marriage can do to kids as well. I was almost ready to never have kids until I met Bea.

You see, Bea is not just the sweetest person in the world (if you meet her, you cannot disagree with me), but also the most nurturing. We started our relationship without the pressure or pretense that kids had to complete it, but that we would let time dictate things.

We are now at a place where we both feel that kids are something we need to get working on before we get any older. It was amazing to be given some hope, but in the end we knew that if that does not work, there are plenty of kids that would love to be adopted. Either way we are on our way to being parents. Be afraid world, be very afraid!

Besides the obvious that Rapistburger should not win a ring …I am still in shock that he got away with so much and it still earning money as an NFL player… I will be cheering for the “Pack” for several reasons.

First one is I lost a bet to Keli Deguia. I was seriously pretty confident that Cutler was going to get on a hot streak and just dominate the playoffs. I seriously thought we finally had an offense.

I hate Bret Fart. Having the Packers win without him makes me happy. He is a classless, self obsessed media whore that represents all that wrong with our spotrs/celebrity culture. At the end of his career he really showed his true colors, specially when he disrespected all the players that helped him in the past by constantly saying that the Vikings had the best team ever… please, give your teammates from the past respect… you would have been nothing without your receivers you dbag!

Aaron Rodgers. The dude is a stud. He is classy, handled the whole taking the team over from King Favre very well and has done an outstanding job. Don’t get me wrong, seeing him spit blood after that hit made me happy… but the dude deserves a ring and we deserve to be better opponents if we are going to win against them twice a year in the future.

Mike McCarthy. You have coached well… and your organization has now been lucky enough to have two great quarterbacks back to back… if we could only be so lucky.

NFC Pride. Seriously… we might hate the Packers and have to deal with all the crap that comes with them winning the Superbowl, but it is still our division and the team that beat us should beat the other division.

So, lets lose with some class like our Defense did. They went down fighting til the end, and we know Packers fan all over were swallowing their tongue when Ulracher grabbed that ball… darn it for missed opportunity. Congratulations Cheeseheads!

We are more connected than ever before in history. I was watching a B movie that a friend had let me borrow. The movie was everything that I would expect from a B movie but it made me think of how much communication had changed. It had pigeons on it that were used to send messages in a modern setting… it made me think that we have come a long way from smoke signals… but in our lifetime we have stepped communication to a whole new level. During the 90s pagers became something that someone else other than doctors had access to, then everyone got a cellphone during the 2000s and in the last couple of years it seems like everyone is on Facebook.

This is an extremely exciting time to live in and witness how technology is making things of wonder, like the walkman, become obsolete. Entertainment, such as 3D movies, can now be enjoyed from your livingroom.

I do however feel that all this fluff of access and even instant entertainment is taking away some of the substance of communication between humans.

Twitter and even Facebook let us share small tidbits of our lives that others might even comment on. Our interaction there seems similar to what blogs used to provide, but in a lot of ways the interactions lack substance. Any kind of real discussion can turn into a Twitter war, and since people are not really face to face everything seems to escalate.

Back in the early days of the internet forums used to provide this type of interactions, often times around a hobby or common interest. Everyone kind of got used to each others internet tone and even though there was conflict it was almost always intended by one party to turn out that way.

Now I have seen several situations where people take a very public avenue to air out grievances while everyone else witnesses the onslaught. From a breakup being broadcasted to everyone in the “friends” proximity to a political or religious view bashed to pieces.

Conversations that would never happen around a living room or a family gathering seem to be out in the open; and while some of it might be positive (its always good to see people’s true colors) some of it lacks substance.

Besides my wife, I have only a limited number of people that I actually hold meaningful conversations with. Conversations that are discussions trying to elicit not just response but actual thought.

My interaction with people even around the world has been made instant, but the substance in many of those interactions seem to be gone and actual communication seldom accomplished.

Myspace is the perfect example. It was a useful tool for maybe a year but then it turned into an overinflated shoutbox with blinking text all over. I don’t think many people visit or even have a myspace anymore… well at least not the people I interact with. It seems that now points of view are about who has the loudest and most obnoxious sparkle than actual thought behind it.

What good is the communication age if all we do with it is shout our views to each other, but not actually listen or think.