- Logtar's Blog -

Blogging has been something that has been difficult for me to do as of lately. I have a lot to say about thew world around me, but most of it is frustration and sadness. Thankfully that chapter seems to be over and now that my uncle has passed on I think I can once again put my thoughts here. Even when there are a millions things to talk about it seems secondary to someone close to you battling a terminal illness. I am sure I will eventually post about the lesson’s learned throughout the process.

Being back in Kansas City has been a great blessing in many respects. Sure, the fact that my love and emotional life are in a very good place now is amazing, but the balance that I have achieved in every other aspect is also very telling. I still love Chicago as much as always, but Kansas City feels like home.

Things with my nurse get better and better each time. I had spent plenty of time in my life trying to figure out who I was a not much time actually being. We seem to spend our time together actually doing things rather than talking about them. More than support for who I am or I want to accomplish (which I get) I feel that she is proud of who I am. She is proud to have me by her side as much as I am proud of her. That is a great feeling in the middle of many that I had never felt before from a partner in crime.

The new job is going great. It was that job that I thought I should have had a while back but I am glad I did not get until now. The experience that I have gained during my previous two companies has really enhanced my capability of doing a great job in this present job. It is pretty cool to be able to apply what you know to help others do a better job. The travel part is just icing on the cake.

I have spent this summer doing lots of things that I thought I would not do. Some I enjoy more than others, but I feel like I am being more open minded. I have a more solid grasp on what I want out of my relationships in life and I think the ones I have now are stronger than ever before.

The only thing the really sucks right now is time. I don’t have nearly enough time to do everything that I want to so. Hopefully can stick with it and start to blog again in a consistent basis.

How is this summer treating you?

- You know those days that seem to fit like a weeks worth of stuff into… I just had like 5 of those.
- Its awesome to potentially be in a list denying you entry to visit a loved one even though you were out of town while the drama happened.
- Oh yea, I went to an awesome wedding.
- I danced, and I ate til my belly almost burst.
- Oh and I got farted on too, no lie.
- Not just a fart either, it was a full shart that probably required panty change.
- I also went to a high school graduation where I counted the non-whites in attendance.
- I have always loved rednecks, Travis indoctrinated me into the culture.
- I have been listening to and liking country lately… no shit… I know its hard to believe.
- I have encountered a new set of people I dislike, rednecks that become hipster douche-bags and drive “sports cars.”
- NO, being a convertible does not make a car a sport-car.
- Yes the mini is still a glorified golf cart.
- More smart car than mustang.
- I guess I am going to be golfing a lot in the near future.
- I will be playing in a charity tournament… so time to hit some balls.
- Ball jokes in a golf course don’t seem to get old.
- Golf is 90% the people you play with 10% the actual hitting of the balls.
- Yes, I am madly in love with my nurse.
- I had never seen Archer before, DANGER ZONE.
- The nurse and I enjoy watching it quite a bit.
- I have been so busy lately, but good busy.
- The bad busy is almost over.
- I am amazed by how many people just LOVE to be in the middle of drama.
- Really people, it has nothing to do with you directly quit trying to wiggle your way into it.
- Wiggle x3 YEA.
- Chi-Jua-Jua is still funny… so is CONNOR!!!
- That bread was def suspect.
- Oh yea, big corporations, its a douchebag move to not let people say good bye to coworkers when you lay them off.
- Seriously!
- Jdizzle still owes me a list of songs and or bands to listen to.
- I am seriously considering picking up the guitar again.
- I can get a cowboy hat and play country… around a campfire and sh!t.
- Ok maybe not the cowboy part.
- I am more a dog person than a cat person… like 60%-40%
- Did you guys know that Monday night is stripper night in Walmart.
- No lie, there was like 3 different one with about 6 kids each.
- Mallcops are the bomb when they have segways.
- Did you know that a vampire dates guys with mullets. Yeap, I saw it at the mall.
- Also when they reproduce they create a fashion challenged girl, an emo dude and hipster douchbag.
- I could be wrong and they only produced the emo dude, the other two could be friends.
- I got my first “pedi” ever.
- I tried to refuse the Korean lady, but she went all Mama-san on me and I feared for my safety if I said no.
- I swear one of the Korean ladies said “om nom nom nom nom” mid conversation.
- I know a little bit of Korean, but not enough to understand context.
- It looks like I am finally getting an official step Dad. (Mom got engaged! woot)
- Oh yea, I get to see DeGuia soon! I cannot wait.
- I have worked for too many 3 letter companies.
- Almost every single one of the companies I have worked for has 3 letters… except for a couple. NDS-HWS-CSS-AON-CVS.
- I had an awesome weekend… I wish it would have extended to the next weekend.
- I did not know I have Monday off. ROADTRIP!
- I do have some things that I need to take care of.
- Seeing people in pain from a bad back makes you really want to take care of your now.
- I am also very thankful that I stopped smoking and don’t drink all that much.
- I still love bacon though, DAM YOU BACON.
- I loled when during the graduation speech the Valedictorian mispelled the word FAITH… he said F-A-I-H-T … I was not the only one to catch it either.
- Maybe if he had autocorrect.
- With time, the truth always comes out.
- Life is too short to spend time on talking about the past.
- Making memories of us, that is how I want to spend my time.

» Left Brain:
I am a scientist. A mathematician. I love the familiar. I categorize. I am accurate. Linear. Analytical. Strategic. I am practical. Always in control. A masters of words and language. Realistic. I calculate equations and play with numbers. I am order. I am logic. I know exactly who I am.

» Right Brain:
I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feet. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I wanted to be.

Do you have a dominant side to your brain or do you have a good mix of both? I feel there is always one side which stands out for everyone. The funny thing is that even though I went into a very left brain field and can swim in it all day, my personality leans more towards the right brain.

What about you?

- Actually not a boy, an actual gender bending cat.
- Not his fault he was sexed incorrectly really.
- Nope the title has nothing to do with anything.
- Inside jokes can still be funny to outsiders.
- A person’s name was mispronounced for almost a month and it sounded like Fabio.
- The actual name was not even close.
- Don’t you love multi/city multi/hour meetings?
- Someone used the word “googlish” meaning like google in the meeting.
- It amused me greatly.
- Hand-holding awesome in personal situations, infuriating when it comes to business process.
- It is comforting to see meetings be cancelled as soon as I schedule a day off, not that it means that I am the only one that actually works.
- My mood elevator is broken, its more like a green room now.
- What is up with tree hugging doctors, light healing just does not cut it.
- I actually got a workout in this week, not sure if it will see a repeat.
- I want warm weather, not humidity!
- Talking about God with atheist is amusing.
- Work would be so much better if I could play bullshit bingo.
- I also created a new meeting drinking game.
- I do Starbucks shots every time I hear “Synergy or -Like, You know”
- My internal messenger status is “I’m still alive.”
- Have you heard Cake’s version of “I Will Survive”?
- Pretty fly for a brown guy does not sound funny.
- Pretty fly for a beaner does not either.
- I love beans, so beaner works.
- Oh yea, Colombians are now known for good looking prostitutes! Thanks Secret Service.
- 49 bucks for a handy… that is so “Money”
- You have to do p90x to get the – so “Money” joke.
- See now you are almost IN the know.
- Are we there yet?

- Words like ventilator and tracheotomy change in meaning when you have to use them in a sentence involving a loved one.
- I need to write a living will soon.
- How a person looks should not be part of a hiring process if they will not be facing the client.
- I know it does, I would not show up to an interview in shorts and flip-flops.
- The more I seem to get better at communication, the more I lean towards saying less and listening more.
- Silence at times says more than words.
- I love it when an idea that I present is slightly changed and passed as original.
- I think that is kind of what Steve Jobs used to do to his people and that is why so many of them loved him.
- From his own mouth, “Good artists copy, great artists steal!”
- I have come to hate most meetings now.
- Sometimes it feels like a real accomplishment to get a point across and achieve communication.
- Its funny when communication happens very seldom in meetings.
- I need a vacation.
- I have a vacation coming up but it is not coming soon enough.
- I also have a wedding I really would like to attend.
- I also want to go to Vegas… and California… and KC… and Tampa… maybe I should become a consultant again and get paid to travel that much.
- I don’t miss the consulting world at all.
- I am just really sad about people close to me having health issues.
- Even winning the powerball would not have helped the health issues.
- Really puts things into perspective.
- I hate this heavy heart feeling.
- I am trying to crack myself up and having a hard time with it.
- I am thankful for the people around me that can make me laugh.
- Laughter is the best therapy.