FraFriFraFriday`s Feast

Appetizer
How many pieces of jewelry do you wear most days?
3, two chains and a ring.

Soup
What is your favorite instrumental song?
Children by Robert Miles

Salad
Who has a last name that you like?
I like mine very much.

Main Course
Name a popular movie you’ve never seen.
Casablanca or Gone With the Wind… have not seen either, but want to. One I do not care for and have not seen is Citizen Kane.

Dessert
Fill in the blank: Nothing makes me ___________ like ____________.
Nothing makes me madder like a joke that is only funny for the person making it.

Also, Friday Feasters that don`t read at least another post… or if they have a Wii they do not send me friend codes… or Michael that made me censor my MySpace pic.

Because blogging is cheaper than therapy

I have been thinking about doing this post for a while, and I think I am finally ready to post… Here are some of the things that just tick me off! Enjoy :) “Because blogging is cheaper than therapy”

Internet traps – That sneaky spyware window that just won’t close, or will open another one up.

DMV-DOT people – They hold a minimal amount of power, but milk it for all it is worth!


Don’t turn that dial
– Last time I checked my TV did not have a dial, I bet you most people in college right now did not even own one.

Losing a post that was both eloquent and funny.- I think this happens to all bloggers, you get inspired, start typing a huge post and them BAM, you lose connection, battery runs out… whatever happens is irrelevant, that you lost your masterpiece makes you want to hurn inanimate objects.

Doors with handles that are meant to be pushed. – Is it too much to ask to not mislead you with a freaking handle?

This post will grow… I will probably place a link in the about me. Have a good weekend!

Male Bathroom Etiquette

The first time I entered a female bathroom was when I worked for Mc Donalds. It was one of the dreaded duties but someone had to clean the bathrooms. I had my first encounter with the “extra” garbage can and just overall niceness of female bathrooms vs. males. If you have not puked yet and are still with me, lets move on to more disgusting things.

I have been in female bathrooms twice after that, and the lack of smelly urinals alerted me that I had picked the wrong one. I have always been amazed that the female versions have couches and overall pleasant smells. Men are not that lucky.

I don’t like using public bathrooms, there are many reasons but I think the one that remains the key to that lock box is that I did not get bathroom passes, I had to train my bladder when I was a kid because the teacher said so. This created the trauma than unless I was at home, I could not fully enjoy the freedom of going as I pleased. To a lesser extent it is that I also call the bathroom the library.

About 5 years ago I took up the drinking tons of water at work hobbie. Why is it a hobbie you ask, the more you drink, the more you have to let out. This is not a problem most of the time since I have trainned myself to be a long distance runner when it comes to breaking the seal.

Not too long ago I had to go to a different building than where I work and had the opportunity to use a public bathroom. It was pretty inevitable and I had done everything I could to wait, but my bladder was as tight as a fully inflated ballon. So I had to go release.

I never thought I would encounter the trifecta of male bathroom etiquette. As I walk in, I hear another guy releasing while being very vocal about his accomplisment. The moaning was getting to orgasmic level and as I got closer to the urinals the dude had parked in the middle one. I had no other choice but to use a stall. As I am waking past him he lets a fart rip… and I was almost impressed.

I got to my destination and started evacuation procedures. I had one that rivalled Austin Power’s duration. Then I hear someone start rapping. Yes ladies and gentleman rapping in a public bathroom. The guy was not bad and would have been not disturbing if it was not in a public male bathroom. I finished my business and even though I did not want to meet the MC I had to… he was washing his hands and to my surprise he was white… and not eminem white, not even Bill Clinton white, he was all the way Dick Cheney white.

Friday Feast! Quick Its a meme.

Appetizer
List 3 emotions you experienced this week.
Fear – Name being yelled.
Relief – My support was needed.
Amazement – A new level of stupidity was discovered.

Soup
Name a car you’d love to have.
Easy, Lamborghini Murcielago

Salad

Describe your typical morning routine.
Wake up! High Pitch Scream!
Me: What happened?
GF: I just saw my hair on the mirror.
Me: And?
GF: It looks terrible!
Me: Got to pay the elves.
GF: What elves?
Me: The ones you are expecting to style your hair while you sleep.

Main Course
Have you ever emailed someone famous? If so, who, and what did you say to them? Did they reply?
Yes, a famous movie reviewer, and yes he did reply and we exchanged e-mails for about a week.

Dessert
Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones?
Michael’s, Learn French by Podcast and mine of course.

Some Jesus with your Party?

Bible ThumperDON`T WAIT till Judgement Day To Believe the BIBLE BELIEVE & OBEY NOW!

This was the scene this past weekend when I was hanging out with some friends at the party area full of sinners. Once I saw the sign, actually first the other side that said, you are all going to hell, I told my GF to take a picture. The dude took this as an invitation to SAVE me.

I am allergic to crazy, and I was not going to have this dude hand me his little pamphlet. I said, no thanks dude I already GOT JESUS! he insisted on telling me how much of a sinner I was for being there. My patience for crazy was used up a while ago so I insisted on saying, no thanks man. Then he struck a cord, go ahead and get drunk and sin. I turned around and told him, dude Jesus turned water into wine, and even though he could have came back with the whole it was a wedding, he decided to say that back in Jesus day, wine was more like grape juice. Then to add insult to injury he starts telling me about the drunks from the Bible. I was not drunk, neither was anyone in my group. We had just been in the museum all afternoon at the happy hour on the sculpture terrace and went to Westport for just some food, a single drink for some, and actually cookies and milk.

So I guess going outside of my house to anywhere but a church is consider sinning, actually not just that I am going to hell. How dare I consume alcohol or walk around in a place of sin? I personally think the biggest sinner was the dude holding the sign who obviously believes in a very fundamentalist way and its looking at all the girls dressed in very provocative clothes… what a sinner.

The guy embodies my issues with religion. Pushy people that have higher standards than me and therefore are living messengers of God telling me, dude you are not one of the 4400. Almost like Nelson from the Simpsons laughing at me saying, you are not worthy!

The winner of the Logtar award for cleverness and hilarity goes to the dude holding the other sign with my favorite punctuation sign (…ellipses…) , which read… Holding a sign got me NOWHERE…

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