So it finally happened, the thing I had pretty much thought was out of the question after my 20s went by without having a child. My wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Funny enough, back in those days I would have been trying to come up with a cool name to talk about her on the blog and keep some semblance of “privacy.” Now most of that is gone. If you want to know who I am, you can find that pretty quickly and by proxy you could find my who my wife and child are. That said, we did take some precautions and decided to not blast baby pictures all over the place and just keep something up that we can “control” who has access to them.
I did not think I would feel this different after becoming a parent. The buildup to the day was somewhat interesting with people that barely knew me telling me how I was going to be a great father. I think I will be, I know I will try my best. It still feels odd when someone says it. Even in her tender age of a week old I can already tell she seems to be comforted by the sound of my voice. I also cannot really take credit for that since it was my wife who diligently reminded me to sing to her belly every night.
There are many things that are still unknown, but the most amazing part is how much of it really comes naturally if you let it. Fear is something I am not used to. I am not an anxious person by nature, a little paranoid and someone that loves to plan is more my thing… but with a kid that is not how it works. There is really no control over the outcome of a lot of things now. It does feel amazing though. It is magical to see how the world changes when you start to look at it through a child’s eyes. I know soon she will go from differentiating some shapes and sounds to actually recognizing faces and voices.
Happy is not a word that can accurately describes how I really feel. Full of love is probably a lot closer.