Female to Male no Communication
I guess I will start with a disclaimer. What I say might come off as sexist, stupid or just plain wrong; but this is simply a brain dump from a couple of conversations and situations I have been dealing with lately. While some of it might also be related to my relationship with my wife, it is actually like 3 situations lately (from different couples) that has lead me to post this. I am hoping this is helpful to someone… and not just infuriating to the females that read this post.
The joke goes, there was a guy that figured out what women wanted… so what happened to him? He died laughing.
All joking aside, I have often said the following about women.
“Women want you to know what they want; not guess, but know. They will not tell you what they want because the moment they tell you, they don’t want it anymore.”
That sounds foreign to any male that reads it. Most of us don’t get that. We are almost not capable or rationalizing how someone can expect something without it being communicated. The female counterpart sees it completely different, they think their behavior, past experiences, Hollywood cheesy moves and “knowing” them should have made their wants completely clear to us, we are just too dumb to pick up on the “hints.”
I used to go crazy over that. I really did. It made no sense to me. So how do you fit a square peg into a round hole?
It turns out that most of the time it is delivery. How you deal with the situation might eventually make you seem pro at the game of life.
Women don’t necessarily want us to be able to forecast their every need… well at least the sensible ones. They want us to be able and willing to do those things out of our own accord and not because they asked us for them.
The first step is to discover how your significant other receives love. Is it gifts, is it words, is it physical affection, is it displays of compassion? What makes you endearing to them. Then do that often and not because you know they like it but because you enjoy doing it.
Let’s take getting flowers. If your woman loves flowers, enjoy the process. Get her flowers that mean something to her, or surprise her by getting her something in a color she likes. Maybe a flower that reminds her of a past trip or a past dinner. Maybe a flower that has an additional meaning or a little story. Being romantic is really not that complicated, just show some interest in the process and not just concentrate on the result.
The male is simple, we want food and sex. For the female it is way different. It goes beyond the physical fact that foreplay might prepare that area for action.
Sex to a woman is the cherry on top the ice cream, the ice cream is the dinner, or the phone call early in the day saying “Hey let’s get it on tonight.” To a guy, sex is the ice cream, the main event. We could give two craps about the cherry most of the time.
Finding that middle ground makes relationships a sundae or a banana split, LOL. Not making the effort in a relationship makes every time feel like you are eating McD’s soft serve.
I am not an expert, but I do think it is important to communicate. And well, this brain dump is what has helped me the most. I hope some of this helps others too navigate the weird dance that relationships can be.