Enter Camp Logtar

I have always been very honest with my thoughts, often told I am too honest. I know I sometimes piss people off because they think I am giving them a “how you should live your life” instead of a “hey, this is how I feel or would react to this situation.” It made my life tons easier, because I don’t have to check the multi-personal-guesser-widget before I say something. I don’t care what most people think of me if I say something, and I only stop when I think (or I am made aware of) the respect line has been crossed with someone. In a blog it is pretty easy, quit reading me already. In other interactions is a little more difficult. You either take me as I am or move along in your merry life. I will seriously not miss you. There is less than a handful of people that have left my life for one reason or another and I would want to catch up with them again. I have reached out to most of those anyway.

This for some reason has made people call me arrogant. (Having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.) Which is totally bizarre to people that truly get to know me, because I don’t think I am better than other people in plenty of ways.

While I think it is due to a lot of people having severe inferiority complexes, I have tried to explore that notion and found little evidence of it. I am not better than anyone else at living life, I just think I am awesome at living my life. I like being happy, I like being the idiot in the office that smiles every day… and guess what, when I don’t smile people ask… some people even care.

Its funny to me when people think I am someone they can step all over because I am “a nice guy.” I am friendly, I do enjoy getting to know people, but I don’t want everyone to be my friend or aspire to be liked by everyone. I think it is a privilege to be my friend, but only because I think that everyone’s friendship, every connection in life is a privilege… you don’t want that connection, it sucks, but from my point of view it is your loss. I don’t think I am awesome out of self importance, I am awesome because the people that I have around me enjoy my company most of the time.

Lets take a simple subject for example. Gay marriage.

I am all for it. What you do in the bedroom is YOUR business, not mine. I also think that you don’t chose to be gay, you are BORN THAT WAY. I am pretty set on that belief. I really don’t care what you think about the subject. That does not make me arrogant, just confident on what I believe. The gay people I know did not chose the way the feel, the just do. I have asked them flat out if they chose to be that way or if they were born that way, and so far I get 100% of them agreeing with my point of view. If you think different, I don’t hate you, belittle you or think you a lesser human being. We just disagree. We might agree on 87% of your other views, but for this one I am confident I am right because most of the people that have tried to “change” this point of view don’t even know any gay people.

Travis and I have been friends since college, for many reasons, many little strands make that relationship a pretty solid rope. (Not the many hooks I am leaving there, shinny for the taking) He knows me a lot better than most people, we have shared plenty of history and will probably continue to share and make memories in the future. We disagree so much is not even funny, he thinks I am wrong all the time and hates the fact that I don’t see a lot of things from his point of view; even when I completely understand his rationalization for the opposing view. He knows me like not many others do because he is one of the only people that understands parts of my way of thinking and has seen me grow as a person through the years. We played video games together in college, he knows how good I can be a strategy based games. I know I can not ever beat him in any Nintendo game. The reason I think he knows me as well as he does (besides him being just brilliant, lol) is that he has listened to me and asked me about the reasons for my beliefs instead of assuming really anything. He got to know me instead of trying to judge me. That is what a true friend does.

He is not the only person that knows me to this level either, I have connections like that with Daniel, Mike, Phil, Jon, Tom and now Golden, they are some of my best friends. I hate the fact that they are spread all over the country because I would love to be able to hang out with all of them more often, or BBQ in our back yards every weekend… they would all gain entry to CAMP LOGTAR (my private compound if I ever won the lottery).

tl:dr
If you think I am arrogant, you don’t know me

10 Responses to Enter Camp Logtar

  1. “Travis asked me about the reasons for my beliefs instead of assuming really anything. He got to know me instead of trying to judge me. That is what a true friend does.”

    I think that’s the most important thing on your post. We may not agree with everything our friends do, say or believe. But where are they coming from? Like you have told me many times; consider the source.

  2. Well said, Paco. I too have grown and matured in similar ways in my thinking. We share many of the same ideals and baselines for our thoughts.

    In my younger days, especially those when we met, I was more apt to make an argument with the full intention of convicing you that my position was right. I was almost militant in my demeanor. This worked only on those who were weak-minded, but typically met resistance with those who share the same strength of belief as you and I have.

    I’ve since become better at it. My debating has evolved. I’ve learned when to pick my battles or when arguing a point is moot. Sometimes my previous militant stance on issues has become a mutual respect in which I will actually defend your belief even if I do not believe it.

    For example, I am an atheist. I am without faith, not because I am damaged goods from a bad church experience, but rather because I was not exposed to it. When I was younger, I was very vocal and even angry about religion. I would argue with a person of faith why their beliefs are absurd and try to formulate a convincing argument for them to side with me instead of God.

    I have since matured on that topic. In fact, many of my arguments are in favor of religion. The difference is that I argue from logic and not from emotion. This was a major realization for me. Faith cannot be logically explained. It’s emotional. And I have decided that emotion trumps logic like paper covers rock. Instead I argue against militant Atheists. Religion is the first Right guaranteed by our Constitution and free expression cannot be prohibited. I think many people fail to remember this clause of the First Amendment, but it is the most important. They instead cling to a belief in the separation of church and state, which actually does not exist in any form other than an interpretation. And to remove such a Right is just as damning as removing the Right to free speech – as this blog. Though I do not share a belief in faith, I will take up arms to protect your Right to believe. For nothing is gained by either party if one convinces another who has faith to instead have none.

    Instead my arguments have become calculated. Is this worth arguing? How much do I know on the subject? Is it emotional or logical? Once I have chosen to argue a point, you can count on three things: 1) I logically believe it to be valid, 2) I have expert knowledge with references, 3) You are wrong. Once I have committed to this, I will argue a point logically, providing examples, or use comparitive metaphors to assassinate your point of view. I maintain my composure until the other person cracks emotionally and starts in with name calling or other childish tactics as a last ditch effort. At that point I declare victory.

    John knows this about me so I think he sometimes exploits it for his own amusement. But he also knows I make a good argument for controversial subject matter. I’ve had my share of debates here on this blog. And I don’t fear the group-think mob that sometimes follows as a result. Hell sometimes I’ll argue an opposing view even if it doesn’t apply to me if I am confident I have the facts and fortitude to back it up. In fact, removing the said bias often makes me a expert debater.

    John is my friend because I was able to lay down many of my strong beliefs and explore the kind of person he is. It’s the exception to the norm that is truly exceptional. We share a mutual respect on so many levels. There are few I regard as my equal. Paco, you are my brother. And as much as I love you, some day I’ll explain to you why you are wrong on gay marriage. Ha!

  3. I already told you I don’ t want to marry you, even if it is legal now.

  4. No,

    I don’t see you as arrogant. You state your opinion in a straight-forward way. You aren’t letting passion be your guide. As I’ve gotten older I find arguing to be a way of the dodo. Too many friendships, too many relationships have been fought over pride. Not truly what the other party is saying, but the fact that one party or the other will not back down. I’m not saying every argument can be solved with a hug or with a fist bump.. But, I do think those same arguments can be resolved by two (or more)people willing to acknowledge a fundamental gulf of opinion.

    Don’t get me wrong, I spent the better part of four years as a philosophy student learning how to lay down the groundwork for fantastic arguments. I learned how to attack fallacious thought and in turn think logically. But I found that past-time leaving me with precious few friends. Being “right” is cold comfort when you are standing alone in the freezing rain. It doesn’t provide you fellowship, nor does it provide sustenance.

    So, simply put, the best lesson I’ve learned is to appreciate people for who and what they are. For the passion, for the thoughtfulness, and the smiles and tears they bring each and every day. I guess for me, it’s less about the message and more about the messenger.

  5. There are few people i have met that i can say when talking to them i gain more in the silence then i do with hours of conversation with others. I like knowing you know what i am saying and sometimes what i am thinking. Its a rare friend to provide those insights. Even rarer to be able to share things and not have to preface with a dont tell anyone.

    i like that there is trust enough to just talk and you know the other person is more than capable of determining what is appropriate to share with others and what is not.

    its the subliminal nod of the head in agreement and the spontaneous laughter when no one has said a joke that is shared by all those i consider my close true friends.

    Glad that you and Bea are firmly placed near the top of that list.

    It also helps that you know good food is all i need to be happy. You guys def know where the good food in chitown is!

  6. I don’t know you all that well, but I don’t think you’re arrogant, and I like you. I wished we could’ve gotten together in Chicago in April. I like reading your posts and liked talking to you the first and last time we met! (Was that really 2 years ago?)

  7. Yes it was, you guys had not moved yet… wow, time flies!

  8. Hey buddy, I don’t wanna burst your bubble but I have had more than 1 person say that they thought you were a little arrogant (in one case the phrase was “full of himself”). Me, not so much. So I asked a couple of these folks why they thought of you as arrogant and realizing we were friends they clammed up. I guaranteed their anonymity (if 2 of my friends have an issue I don’t like to take sides if possible) and they both relented and explained.

    Are you ready for the big revelation? Really ready? OK, you use big words and talk about big concepts and you do so with self assurance. That’s really all it comes down to. I don’t know the details of why these things make some people uncomfortable but they do. To be fair tho, the people who have thought you arrogant at all have still liked you.

    I don’t have your way with words but that doesn’t make me feel less intelligent than you. As for you self assurance, you have never tried to tell me I had to think what you do. As a matter of fact I have always found you willing to have a civil debate on any subject, and I enjoy that.

    I guess this is a long way of saying not to lose any sleep over what other people think of you.

    PS: I know I still owe you a comment on your WoW blog. I’ll get it sooner or later.

  9. Actually Nuke, no bubble burst at all. That is exactly that I have heard before as well.

    I think it is a mixture of a couple of things that many people that don’t know me have no clue about.

    English being my second language has made it that I really don’t have much of a clue between what is supposed to be “big words” and what is “normal language”

    I don’t go out of my way to use big words but sometimes English is quite restricting when it comes to expressing ideas. I think I might write about it again, I think I wrote about it in the past, but just expressing emotions like liking someone or loving someone… or as the British say, fancy someone… it sucks. The ideas in my head don’t quite make it into words and I end up trying to use the word that might best fit, but it might end up sounding pompous.

    Big concepts however is my love of something I know really not much about, but intrigues me. Philosophy. I never took it at a college level, but do enjoy trying to rationalize concepts and explore them. I guess I do sometimes sound like I am trying to sound like “expert” on a subject but its not out of arrogance but just trying to share the knowledge or maybe insight I might have in the subject.

    Funny part is that I do know a lot of people that feel like they have superior intellect, but I don’t feel superior to others on that respect. I have been lucky to have met several people that do know about some interesting subjects and acquired knowledge from them, but it does not make me an expert on any one thing just because I might know specifics on the subject.

    Some subjects I do know more than your average person about, some was pure academic stuff, other was curiosity, overall I just like to learn. With the blog I have always tried to improve my writing and hopefully make others think or see other points of view.

    Some people do tell me that I should just roll with it, and that if someone finds me arrogant, that is their issue and not mime… its not like I want everyone to like me, I find that thought absurd and childish; however I don’t want to come off as arrogant because that is certainly not my objective in life or the blog.

  10. I knew you already knew that man. I just wanted to make sure everybody else did. One of the things I love about having you as a friend is that you challenge me to think once in a while. It’s good exercise for the old noggin.

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