I have always been very honest with my thoughts, often told I am too honest. I know I sometimes piss people off because they think I am giving them a “how you should live your life” instead of a “hey, this is how I feel or would react to this situation.” It made my life tons easier, because I don’t have to check the multi-personal-guesser-widget before I say something. I don’t care what most people think of me if I say something, and I only stop when I think (or I am made aware of) the respect line has been crossed with someone. In a blog it is pretty easy, quit reading me already. In other interactions is a little more difficult. You either take me as I am or move along in your merry life. I will seriously not miss you. There is less than a handful of people that have left my life for one reason or another and I would want to catch up with them again. I have reached out to most of those anyway.
This for some reason has made people call me arrogant. (Having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.) Which is totally bizarre to people that truly get to know me, because I don’t think I am better than other people in plenty of ways.
While I think it is due to a lot of people having severe inferiority complexes, I have tried to explore that notion and found little evidence of it. I am not better than anyone else at living life, I just think I am awesome at living my life. I like being happy, I like being the idiot in the office that smiles every day… and guess what, when I don’t smile people ask… some people even care.
Its funny to me when people think I am someone they can step all over because I am “a nice guy.” I am friendly, I do enjoy getting to know people, but I don’t want everyone to be my friend or aspire to be liked by everyone. I think it is a privilege to be my friend, but only because I think that everyone’s friendship, every connection in life is a privilege… you don’t want that connection, it sucks, but from my point of view it is your loss. I don’t think I am awesome out of self importance, I am awesome because the people that I have around me enjoy my company most of the time.
Lets take a simple subject for example. Gay marriage.
I am all for it. What you do in the bedroom is YOUR business, not mine. I also think that you don’t chose to be gay, you are BORN THAT WAY. I am pretty set on that belief. I really don’t care what you think about the subject. That does not make me arrogant, just confident on what I believe. The gay people I know did not chose the way the feel, the just do. I have asked them flat out if they chose to be that way or if they were born that way, and so far I get 100% of them agreeing with my point of view. If you think different, I don’t hate you, belittle you or think you a lesser human being. We just disagree. We might agree on 87% of your other views, but for this one I am confident I am right because most of the people that have tried to “change” this point of view don’t even know any gay people.
Travis and I have been friends since college, for many reasons, many little strands make that relationship a pretty solid rope. (Not the many hooks I am leaving there, shinny for the taking) He knows me a lot better than most people, we have shared plenty of history and will probably continue to share and make memories in the future. We disagree so much is not even funny, he thinks I am wrong all the time and hates the fact that I don’t see a lot of things from his point of view; even when I completely understand his rationalization for the opposing view. He knows me like not many others do because he is one of the only people that understands parts of my way of thinking and has seen me grow as a person through the years. We played video games together in college, he knows how good I can be a strategy based games. I know I can not ever beat him in any Nintendo game. The reason I think he knows me as well as he does (besides him being just brilliant, lol) is that he has listened to me and asked me about the reasons for my beliefs instead of assuming really anything. He got to know me instead of trying to judge me. That is what a true friend does.
He is not the only person that knows me to this level either, I have connections like that with Daniel, Mike, Phil, Jon, Tom and now Golden, they are some of my best friends. I hate the fact that they are spread all over the country because I would love to be able to hang out with all of them more often, or BBQ in our back yards every weekend… they would all gain entry to CAMP LOGTAR (my private compound if I ever won the lottery).
If you think I am arrogant, you don’t know me