One of the things that makes me chuckle is when in trying to say something we end up saying something completely innacurate. English being my second language makes me a prime candidate for falling into those pits, but it doesn’t mean I don’t find it hilarious when others say it. One that amuses me is that someone lacks “character.” Nobody lacks it, they might lack good character or morals, but everyone that is alive has character to some degree. Maybe it is that everyone is a character… ok, I am confusing myself now.
What makes someone possess good moral character, which is what most people think of when using the word, they possess a series of traits that are displayed in the way they interact with others. As I have grown up, I have experienced plenty of situations where people don’t have good moral values and are constantly blaming others or their environment for their current situation. Those are the people that I think have no character, or rather good character.
I have studied anger quite a bit. When I was younger I used to let anger get to me quite often, but I learned that it is part of who I am and that I can control it. I have continue to read on the subject and have found some very simple information that has helped me understand the big picture.
In many situations anger comes directly from not feeling in control of a situation. Jealousy, for example, is a huge catalyst for anger. Going to a private Catholic school in Colombia taught me, at a very early age, that I couldn’t have everything other people did, and it didn’t make me less of a person. I saw how hard my father worked to provide me with opportunities and a good education, so having the latest pair of Rebook eventually did not matter all that much. I am glad I burned that phase early in life because it seems that jealousy is one of the things that seems to frustrate people the most.
Some people are even as delusional as to think that controlling other people is a good idea. Sure, some people have the skill to manipulate others for a period of time, but eventually that person being controlled will wake up or just simply not want to play the game anymore. Then the frustration starts brewing anger and “lack of character” shows up. I see it way too often. People think that if they do X, another person will reciprocate with Y. Sometimes even in situations when the expectation of Y has not been communicated. In reality, we don’t know; that is why expectations are probably one of the factors that, when removed, can help people control anger. If you don’t expect things, then you won’t miss them when they don’t happen.
My “character” is still a work in progress. I still let things get to me that should not, but I have honestly begun to really take situations that frustrate me a day at a time. Recent months have been difficult in this department because of several situations that I have absolutely no control of. People that I care deeply about battling Cancer, other chronic illness, loss of a job are all things that feel like kicks in the gut. Understanding that some things I really can’t control I have to leave up to faith is a huge lesson to learn, and one that I am still learning.