I Know Nothing
Welcome to the Decade. Surprisingly enough, my new years is pretty free of resolutions. I have spent the last couple of weeks recounting much of the past decades and the changes that come along with such a long period of time. I look back and see that I am not in my twenties anymore and I could not be any happier.
“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”
I was still very young when Y2K make my metabolism “non compliant” anymore. I thought I had everything figured out and all of my plans were in motion. I still thought I could make people happy, even if I was unhappy myself. I thought that everyone had good in them and that time will bring it out. I thought that everyone wanted to strive to make themselves better and there was no such thing as unwanted advice.
This decade started with my parent’s getting divorced. I wish I could tell you that there was winners all around, but there are no true winners in a divorce. My sister and I were emotionally taxed beyond what we were prepared for during a long period of time. I have had help from many sources and can honestly say that I have dealt with most of it. I also think that both of my parents have moved on for the most part, but the deconstruction of a family unit that was together for 20+ years was not without some adjustment.
I think the biggest lesson out of that whole situation is that family is what you want it to be. Family does not have to be blood related. Those that you let into that circle have an immense amount of power over your emotional well being. Those that you call family will be there after the storm and bonds will be stronger. Also don’t be afraid of forgiving, and be ready to forget as part of the process. One thing I am still working on is building my own family now, with its own rules, taking what I like from the older notion I had and leaving lots behind.
I am not as naive as to not realize that one of the reasons I don’t have to constantly worry about money or attaining it is because I do have a job. I do know that my outlook on that area has changed a lot. I entered the decade thinking that I needed to double what I came out making out of college. I almost blew past that goal and added another zero in the end of that and found that money does not make you happy. I was actually the unhappiest person alive when I was making the most money I have ever made. I then lost everything, literally. I had to rebuild my life, took a lower paying job, but still worried way too much about work. I had to learn that my job is not my life, but simply a means to an end. Also that I dictate what that end is. I am glad that my job has truly become a second tier worry in my life.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Now that I have reached self professed “enlightened guru” status I can tell you with certainty that true knowledge is not easy obtain. It requires pain to really get inside your head. Humans do seem to be gluttons for punishment of every kind. We do have to continually try to better ourselves. The moment that we think we have it all figured out we will stop learning and truly become irrelevant.
I spent most of the decade trying to tune in all of the relationships in my life, and for most of it all I got was static. It was only when I realized that I need to get myself right and happy before I could really hear others that things began to fall into place. I spent most of the last decade feeling alone in many ways. I enter this one with a wife and a partner in crime, with several people that I consider true friends and closer to my family than I thought I could ever be.
“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.”
So I begin this new decade with a lot of new weapons in my arsenal. I am specially happy about the people I have around me which is the true measure of success for me. I have quality relationships and look forward to spending a lot of time with my family and with the friends that are going to stop by our place.