Reason, Season or Lifetime

I wrote a post about poetry that I have not posted yet. I actually enjoy writing poetry even though I personally don’t think I am all that good at it. The first time I read a poem about friendship and the words reason, season or lifetime; I thought it was famous and well known. Later some google research showed me that it is actually something that has been used by many people in different ways and I truly have never again found the poem that I originally read. I have found some very long ones, but the one I read was short and sweet… I wish I would have memorized it. I will never forget what it actually meant to me. I’ll do my best to capture the essence of the poem.

Some friends come into your life for a reason, they come into your life and teach you a lesson but they exit your life in such a way that the lesson is learned and they seldom cross your path again.
Some friends come into your life for a season, they make your life better, but time or death leave you only with the great memories you shared.
Some friends come into your life a lifetime, they make your soul dance of joy every time you see each other and even through distance you stay close. Those are the ones you should cherish and hold very close to your heart.

I grew up thinking that most relationships were experiences that lasted a lifetime. I was rudely awakened when my best friend growing up died in a horrible car accident a year after I moved to the U.S. She was one of two people that ever wrote me while I was new here. Back in 1994 there was no internet everywhere and an international phone call was not something I could do all the time. Another post that I have written but never posted is one titled, my best friend was a girl. It is painful to even begin to think of the loss because when she died, a lot of my innocence died with her. I have no doubt we would have been friends for a lifetime.

When I encountered the poem I was still not completely aware that relationships could end as abruptly as some of them have ended for me. I thought that once you called someone a friend or a lover those people would never go away from your life. Even when relationships had ended I had amicable relationships with many people in my past. Then divorce comes through and taught me the lesson that some friendships were just there for a season. You learn, you live, you move on. Hard to swallow, but simple to understand.

The poem made sense to me back then, but I had not fully grasped what it really meant knowing someone for a reason. Sure, while you are with someone for a season you learn lessons, also a friend for a lifetime will make you a better person. I really did not understand the concept of having someone change you, but at the same time make you realize that they don’t need to be a part of your life, in fact some of them are toxic enough to be only approached with a radioactive suit on.

Enter Voldemort. I don’t talk about one of the worst experiences of my life very often here. I always believe that people should not be trashed online without the ability to defend themselves. What I will say about that relationship though is that it is the first time the reason part of the poem clicked. I learned so much about myself during that period of time in my life that I will never be the same person. One of the most important lessons is that you have to really evaluate what people bring into your life, and if it is at all cancerous you need to remove it before it takes hold in your life. Life is short.

Wait though, this is not a sad story…

Finding my life partner was not an easy feat. I went from thinking that relationships were a constant struggle to defeat many demons to finding that those demons are cute little bunnies that are fun to cook together. She will probably disagree with the animal slaughter part, but that is what is great, we disagree on many subjects and still love each other more every day. The kicker is that what unite us is so strong, the reasons that make us laugh so many, the inside jokes so numerous that I think I have laughed harder and more in the years I have been with Bea than the rest of my whole life combined.

Second is that this past week I received news for my best friend’s Mother and siblings and they are all doing well. I have not seen pictures of them in years and it was nice to see them and also the faces of the people that died in that car crash of the survivors. My best friend’s Mom happens to be one of my Mom’s best friends.

The third part is that I now have expanded my circle of friends (or gang as Average Jane calls it) so much it almost feels like a big family, even with little dysfunctions here and there, but overall it has enhanced our life quite a bit.

Last but not least is that I used to think I had no best friends anymore, and that the only way to have one was to grow up with one… it was sad to think that my best friend had died in a car crash… but then this year my best out of town friends visited me; Travis, Mike and Daniel bring happiness to my life, and the only regret is that we don’t live in the same town to see each other more often. Then here locally its Mark who is the little brother I never knew I wanted; lol. Nuke who every time someone says I am a nice person I want to finish the sentence with, well that is because you don’t know Nuke, lol… and last but not least is my most recent BFF, John who this past weekend sentenced me as his best friend and told me I cannot move back to Colombia, ever. I don’t know if to be happy or scared because this dude can actually crush my skull. A lot to get off my chest, thanks for reading!

Online Coward

I have friends that blog Anonymously to protect their jobs, their family, their privacy. I censor myself constantly because I am professional enough to know where to draw the line that I try to use to protect my job. Protects, not guarantee, because I am sure that saying things online can have repercussions beyond.

When I lived back in Michigan nerdrage ensued in one of the forums I used to frequent. One of the people started making very serious threats and it just so happens that most of the people in that forum were highly competent with computers. Finding that person’s personal information was pretty simple and cops were knocking on a door I believe that same day. Sure, the threats and insults were empty, and the guy was not man enough to say them face to face in the next big meet up (which btw he never attended.) Anonymity in that case was just in the dude’s brain.

Nuke always says that alcohol removes inhibition but does not make anyone do anything. I wholeheartedly agree. I think the sense of anonymity and disconnect of the internet does something similar.

The internet is in an uproar for the last couple of days since Google was court ordered to release the identity of a blogger. She ran a site talking crap about models, specifically one model that apparently was someone she knew IRL (In Real Life). Now the cowardly blogger, that spewed the venom towards the probably not completely innocent model, is suing Google for $15 mil. This has huge ramifications legally because it sets a lot of precedent in the area of anonymity on the internet.

I have never felt like I could put content on the web and be anonymous. I have encountered plenty of trolls throughout my internet adventures, but not many have any substance or staying power. They come and go and even quicker when they are totally “anonymous.”

I think the blogger that was calling models “skanks” was just bitter and jealous of something she probably could not be or obtain. Any time I see people trying to criticize others on a personal level, I am sad for them because they are obviously trying to cover up the sadness that it is their own life. Why are so many grown ups acting like they were back in high school? How is there a blogger out there that has the desire or even the time to create content just to attack another human being? Pretty pathetic.

I am glad that a big portion of the people that read my blog know me in real life, know that my name is actually John and that I am the same person online and off. I actually enjoy being public and thanks to that I have an awesome group of friends that I met through the internet. Think of it, I might just switch my blogroll around to people that I know IRL and people that I would love to meet!

Le Weekend

Bea and I had a pretty full weekend ahead of us when Friday came around and we were able to wrestle it to the ground.

Friday kipkillagin and I had our first play date lunch together (are you reading this @queentuffy!)

Saturday even “The West” became more than just fictional characters in Banky‘s mind (I TOLD YOU THEY WERE REAL PEOPLE!!!). I even managed to be groped by a waiter related to @Taracuda in the barbecue joint where the (some random mathematical calculation) armadillos were playing. Watching a trailer with Meesha (next time bring chips with the salsa dude) and then have him describe Avatar’s new trailer as “Titanic f@cks Narnia.”

*Takes Deep Breath*

Then we needed to meet the love birds (@wrytir @kayhaswings) that were at the #KCTweetup with the local geek king and his queen (I wonder what the process to apply to be like a Count would be). Cardinal taunting by @arogersphotos and @vivid13 followed by good (@angelchrys) and (@markvanbaale) interesting blowing.

As if it was not enough the tour continued with an almost drunken trampstamping and talk of a sparkly frozen object that I rather not discuss ever again. Thanks for the hospitality @average_jane(Thank Alex for the tour of the studio, it almost makes me want to start practicing the guitar again).

All the running around was not enough, we even managed to do what seemed like all of our laundry at once (I swear somebody else is sneaking their laundry into our pile), watch Grand Torino (or the reverse Karate Kid as I will call it from now on), more BSG, mass (I don’t like going to the Spanish one because the hyms were monotonous and distracting enough to actually made me forget “Our Father”) and sushi!

This post featured!
@betizuka @queentuffy @kipkillagin @bioburn120 @socreepy @princessofworld @kcmeesha @banky @thundabolt @jeffisageek @msgigglebox @arogersphotos @angelchrys @wrytir @kayhaswings @markvanbaale

District 9 (****)

From Wikipedia

Apartheid—meaning separateness in Afrikaans (which is cognate to the English apart and -hood)—was a system of legal racial segregation enforced by the National Party government in South Africa between 1948 and 1994.

Racial segregation in South Africa began in colonial times, but apartheid as an official policy was introduced following the general election of 1948. New legislation classified inhabitants into racial groups (black, white, coloured, and Indian), and residential areas were segregated by means of forced removals. From 1958, Blacks were deprived of their citizenship, legally becoming citizens of one of ten tribally based self-governing homelands or bantustans, four of which became nominally independent states. The government segregated education, medical care, and other public services, and provided black people with services inferior to those of whites.

Good movies about Aliens expose some of the worse traits and weaknesses in humans. They also highlight how we have redeeming qualities. Movies that move people to tears are a lot more common than movies that make you feel uncomfortable. I dislike violence towards children of any form, even when it is just simply alluded to. District 9 is a very violent movie and not for people with weak stomachs, certainly not for children.

I have huge issues with shaky camera work. I understand the realism that it tries to convey, but that was one of my biggest concerns going into this movie. I have really bad motion sickness when it comes to movie and video games with crappy graphics. I discovered how bad it can be from a movie after watching The Blair Witch project. It protected me watching Cloverfield, but this movie had a trailer that made me curious enough to want to watch it. So when some friends put a movie and dinner night together and when they offered this as one of the movie choices we jumped at the opportunity.

I am not a Peter Jackson fanboy. I did love LoTR but disliked the horrible mess that King Kong was. District 9 more than makes up for it and really becomes a feather on his cap on making things that are not real seem very believable.

The movie begins looking more like a documentary. The main character is someone that you cannot quite like or dislike. It almost feels like he is being set up to die any time. It is hard to tell when or if there is a transition from movie style to documentary and back. It feels voyeuristic at moments but then in a second you are immersed into the story.

The movie is social and political commentary at its best, but the most important commentary in my opinion is about humanity. If you like history you will see highlighted many of the atrocities that humanity has committed on itself, the kicker for me was how easily justifiable this becomes once humanity is removed from the equation. It is sad that still in this day and age so many topics from the genocides in Africa to immigration people so easily remove humanity from the debate.

Our ill fated “hero” begins partaking on the removal of aliens from District 9 to their new more concentration camp like location, District 10. The aliens just showed up one day, and after neither doom nor salvation came from their mother ship we broke in to find out malnourished people that became earths refugees.

Everything that is wrong with people “relocation” in various forms in our world was highlighted during this part of the movie. From the dubious legality of “property” to the arrogance of talking down to people that do not understand “our” system. It was specially graphic to see that killing other beings was a matter of stepping over the bodies and picking up the pieces of your fallen comrades.

Then a single event highlighted by stupidity by the main character sends everything in motion. From that point forward the supense and action don’t slow down until the end.

The acting which at first seemed very weak ends up being the right tone for everything. We do sound that stupid when discussing things we either don’t care about or don’t quite understand. As humans we are lazy enough to be spoon fed information and take it as reality until the moment it affects us directly. While there will be no Oscar performances here, it fit the movie perfectly and did not detract from the story.

The CGI work was some of the most amazing I have ever seen. I never once thought of CGI the whole time I was watching the movie because everything was a working part. One small spoiler is that after watching this movie a Mech Commander movie HAS TO BE MADE! We now have the technology, somebody make it happen.

This movie is so good and has so many different elements from psychology, international affairs to history that I could probably put a curriculum together and teach a whole semester just based on everything it talks about. Not everyone is going to love this movie because it is very grotesque at times, but I highly recommend it. You might want to learn a thing or two about human history after, if anything it will make you think about how “human” we are.