Fired because wife is a Porn Star

I am actually proud that one of my readers is an actual adult sex worker. I have never been in the position to use a sex worker, but I am not opposed to pr0n at all. I don’t find it to be something dirty or shameful. I also think that everyone has baggage when coming into a relationship and being an adult film star is no different to me than having had to work in McD’s. Two close friends have dated adult dancers in the past, and I would never think less of someone that did what they had to do to survive. It is party because I believe that people use sex in a marriage as currency are no different than prostitutes. I know some people’s morals are different, but what you did on your past and is not prosecuted by law and your spouse does not mind should not be anyone elses business.

How the city council in Fort Myers Beach, Florida came to the conclusion that their city manager’s wife’s past made him unfit to do his job is beyond me. Their reasoning was that it would bring attention and distraction to the city, and by them firing the dude it did just that.

We all have different things that are willing to compromise in a relationship, and if this dude can handle being married to a porn star, then good for him. To have him not be able to hold a job because of that reason is pretty ridiculous to me. We live in a society where someone that kills another human being while driving intoxicated can go ahead and continue to earn millions, but we don’t let someone that married a porn star work?

I wonder how the city council found out and if they had to verify it during their closed door meeting.

6 Responses to Fired because wife is a Porn Star

  1. For the most part, I agree with your position. As a former teacher and now in educational administration, I’d have to think of the possibilities of kids finding out. When we sign our teaching contracts, there is a clause in there stating that we agree to uphold a certain ‘moral standing’. Granted, everyone’s morals are different, but if a teacher or a teacher’s spouse’s part-time online adult work became public knowledge to her students and their parents, that would be a big problem!

  2. There are three pieces of background that I think you are missing.

    First, dignity is a big deal. When someone shows a particular dignity, they are assessed accordingly. If one’s dignity is weak, they attract others with a weak dignity. Those with a lack of dignity find it difficult for others to trust or respect them from those that have it.

    But the funny thing about those with dignity is that they will never tell those without dignity that this is the case. No one tells them, “You know, you are just lacking in dignity, I don’t wish to be around you.” They are just simply ignored or excluded. They might even be fired for no reason.

    Secondly, I speculate you probably know little about the culture of Fort Myer’s Beach Florida. You might consider that It may be a very conservative district. And the local municipality agreed unanimously that this man be removed from office.

    Thirdly, we know very little about the firing and in cases like this, the local government may not be in much of a position to talk about the firing. The mayor explicitly said in the article that he wasn’t fired because his wife is a porn star. He had a “No Cause” clause in his contract. Given that, he may be fortunate to receive six months severance and health benefits.

    There could be many reasons he was fired than what has been suggested.

    Lastly, regarding your lack of distinction between a person who worked at McDonalds and one who worked as porn star . . . I’m wondering which would you rather include on a resume? Would it be a coin flip? You might consider that the dignity of one, as weak as it is, is a bit more powerful than the other.

  3. Vince,

    I have family that lives in that area, but that to me in this case is neither here nor there. I just think our society has many holes in its logic and this is one of them. Sex is taboo and driven underground to be something dirty rather than something enjoyable and without shame. Sex work is often misunderstood and mixed in with “deviant” behavior which is at the same time a very lose term used to shame people on what gets them off.

    I completely disagree with your assessment of dignity because I don’t think many people think of the concept or understand it fully in this country. To say that one has dignity is to actually understand a definition of agreed by the culture and in the US I don’t think there is one except in maybe very small communities.

    Depending on the resume, a McD’s job is just as “shameful” the theme of many of my professors in college was to make fun of people flipping burgers and how we needed to try harder or we would end up doing that.

  4. I’m confused what you are completely disagreeing with. Is it that Dignity is a big deal? If so, I’m more than a little surprised. If I rephrase and say, “Dignity is a big deal to those who wish to be put in positions to take care of the concerns of others,” does that help?

  5. I’ll try to explain it a little better.

    I don’t think in this situation it had anything to do with dignity since the reason for firing him per the council was that it would bring unwanted attention.

    I don’t agree with dignity being a factor because who’s dignity are they protecting? The city government’s dignity?

    I disagree with you because I don’t think many people understand or think of dignity at all. I think even less so than the difference between moral and ethics.

    That guy got fired because of the prejudiced that people have towards people that work in the p0rn industry and don’t think that it has anything to do with protecting anybody’s dignity or ability to perform a job.

  6. My initial comment was to invite you to think there is more than one way to interpret what happened. And I wonder if you have all the information to make the
    claims that you do.

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