Love is an amazing thing, without communication or over-communication as you wisely put it, it does not grow.

Love is not an object that can be kept safe, it is a living thing that needs to be cared for every day.

This week I was remembering how Bea and I started our relationship and while this might sound “hella” cheesy I read one chapter of her favorite book “The Little Prince” every night to her over the phone or skype before she went to bed, that is how we would end our days apart. The book even though it is a children book its amazing in the life lessons it contains about love and friendship, it brought us closer and it water that seed that was growing a little more each day.

Haven’t seen the movie, but want to comment generally.

A while back, I was close, very close, to the nuptials. I had just been laid off, but was confident in my ability to land another gig based on my experience. The months rolled on. Side jobs, interviews and rejections. No offers from the professional world. I grew desperate, and fearful of my inability to contribute significantly to our future livelihood.

While she was stable in a corporate job (though going through somewhat serious financial troubles on her end with a failed relationship), my pride would not allow me to make things official until I was certain I was on solid feet once again.

Our communication was poor on the deepest levels, but I had shining moments like this. I called her one night (it was a long-distance relationship) and asked her a single question that could very possibly become a reality based on our current situation: “If left with our *last* $100, would you rather enjoy a nice meal together, or buy a tangible object like a sconce?” (She was accustomed to nice things.)

Without hesitation, her immediate reply? “I think I’d like the sconce.”

My heart sank, and my decision was made.

I didn’t communicate enough through or beyond the emotional wave. A lesson hard learned and later respected.

I’m now involved in the most amazing relationship in my life precisely because I have since made a point to overcommunicate (to use a biz term). My true one-and-only and I are committed to open, frank, funny, embarrassing, cheesy, honest, revealing, respectful, caring, real and *truthful* conversations on every and any topic. Committed. We are, because we know that that is the only way we will truly understand each other, to work together to make this the most amazing experience of our lives.

I have to say that I believe in my heart that we are on the right track.

Great post, my friend.

“

As far as the lottery, I was asked that question a few years ago on a job interviews, and since I knew the interview hadn’t gone well, I asked “I assume you wouldn’t expect me to continue working here, right?”

But I do agree that communication is key to a successful relationship. In fact, it’s almost the definition of a successful relationship. Of course, a lot of people have trouble expressing what they think because they don’t know what they think. And as Nick alluded to, what we think may not be consistent overtime, as we explore our personal truths more and more.

Definitely food for thought. But to anyone else reading this, avoid that movie like it’s the plague.

Because truth does not exist.

At least, not in the sense you reference. There is no single emotional truth available to all humans; everyone’s experience of life has been different, and that includes accepted modes and expressions of love. Toss in local, regional, national and ethnic cultural expressions, mores and taboos on love, sex, religion and mythology and it is a wonder we get along at all.

[ In fact, until the concept of the nation-state (and its unilateral appropriation of legitimate force), we didn’t get along. We were wondering tribes with strong parochial tendencies, wary of any interaction with other tribes. Any little thing would put us at each other’s throats in a heartbeat. We, in fact, still do not get along well today – look at the massive segmentation in this country between those who “believe” and those who don’t; between the types of believers themselves; between any –ism and any other –ism… The fact of the matter is, were this country less rich in diversion, were it less geographically expansive, the simmering currents of loathing that bubble up during election years would have long since boiled over. ]

That being the case, why would one expect “truth” to one an absolute between a man and a woman? Or a woman and a woman. Or between X.O. and M.V., for that matter? Or M.V. and the smorgasbord of food he seems to have dedicated himself to lately?

The fact that there is not a universal truth means people have to say things that are an approximation of the truth, as they understand it to apply to themselves and their partner, said people, having no more advanced tool for communication then their partners, responding in kind. No wonder we find ourselves so often in mires at once of and not of our own making!

It’s called the human condition.

; ‘ )

Could you imagine the world if people didn’t have drama? But that’s what a lot of people crave.

And maybe the people who don’t talk about “taboo subjects” got to be the norm because the people who do talk about such things in their homes didn’t see a reason to go out in public and announce it!

Keep learning what to do and what not to do and avoid the drama that engulfs many other people, you’ll be all set .