Looking forward to the Nice Weather

Not sure if it is the warm weather, the harassment I got in Chicago that I need to me more often this summer (I dislike cold weather more than I do traffic), all the motorcycles I saw on the road up there (now I am a full time cager), the visit of my friend Daniel who will be here pretty soon or just simply that the weatherman is predicting upper 70s and no raid for the next of the week, but man I cannot wait for the warm weather.

The wife and I are looking forward to some hiking. I am not a hiker by any means, but the prospect of doing one of the things she really enjoys (the whole nature thing) with her is exciting. Who knows, I might end up actually liking it. I am also taking my old bicycle apart and putting it back together with new parts. My wife will probably be riding that more than me, but I do want to put on the roller blades and see if my knees and ankles can take the punishment.

Besides soccer and a little basketball I am not much of an outdoor kind of person. So what are some of the outdoor activities you guys enjoy? Are you looking forward to any of them? Anyone else having cabin fever?

Actually Upset

I am a very passionate person. Most people that don’t know me well think that something actually gets to me because I like to discuss things. The people that have been my friends for a while, or that have had a long term relationship with me actually know that it takes a lot to truly get me upset, and that is just something you just don’t want to see. Being let down by people a lot through the years, at first I thought it was unrealistic expectations about people, but I have come to the conclusion that some people never mature past the teenage years. Forever stuck at 16 is what I like to call it.

My closest friend emotionally is a blogger. Without him I think I would have crumbled into a world of self pity and desperation after the horrible relationship I was in before. Long distance we have been there for each other, and at times we feel a stronger connections that people that we see all the time. I know he has been the first phone call or e-mail when I have faced a real problem, he has also confided things in me that he had not even began processing. I have made connections with people online that are at times more meaningful than some in real life.

My favorite nurse and I have meet each other face to face, we have not really talked, but through online interactions I have started to consider us friends. While I don’t agree with some of the things she writes, specially the self flagellating ones because I hate seeing people in pain that they put themselves through, she has cracked me up, made me smile and today what she wrote actually made me upset.

While I do not fault the guy completely in this situation, and don’t believe that the way she is feeling is truly realistic… I know that for her it is real, and I know that there are guys like that… that never look at a woman who its overweight. I have asked myself if it has to do with how I grew up with both my Mom and Sister being gorgeous woman that were obsessed with their weights that kind of made me want to never put any pressure on someone because of their looks? Or is it that my favorite Aunt that always battled weight issues but was the sweetest person in the world? Is it facing weight problems as an adult? Is it my maturity? Is it the realization that I know that we are all going to get old and saggy some day and my love for someone would not end if they are fat, old, disfigured or sick?

I dated a fair share when I was younger. I did an international tour of sorts and dated woman of every race, shape and size. They were all attractive to me in some way, however, the more I personally date, the more I found that a mind is the sexiest thing about a woman. I know this only applies to me. I also know that some guys are just simply not attracted to overweight woman. However, the ones from the scooter joke are the ones that just upset me to no end.

You’ve hear the joke, “Fat chicks are like scooters, they are fun to ride until your friends see you riding one.”

If you are attracted to a woman that happens to be overweight (which by today’s ridiculous standards even Marilyn Monroe is a fat chick) you should be man enough to be with her. If you are man enough to put it in, you should also be man enough to take her out to dinner and have a relationship. If all you want is sex, then don’t ever tell her that what you are really attracted to is X or Y, because when you get it up it shows attraction. Grow up!

Do Good Unto Others

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
– The Golden Rule

The ethic of reciprocity is something that at times bothers me. The concept of karma is a great one as well, but it can also be looked at in a selfish way. Expecting something in return is obvious, not everyone is equipped with a giving nature. Is this really a good thing? Should we do the right thing expecting something back?

I believe this concept to be somewhere in the middle of my “goodness” compass. One extreme is people that are good because they fear something, hell, the law, etc. The other extreme is complete selflessness living like a monk or just living for missions or volunteer work.

Taking the risk of sounding like a cultural snob once again, I grew up with this phrase being a little different. “Haz el bien sin mirar a quiĆ©n.” which translates to “Do good without looking at whom.” is a phrase I grew up hearing a lot. It is something I really try to do, but often fail at. I do end up expecting something in return from my deeds and find ungrateful people annoying. I should not, I should do thing because they are the right thing to do.

Honor and the concept of duty is something that I have always admired in the Japanese, even though I am aware of some of the atrocities committed in its name. Today most people don’t care about things like honor and care more about being the center of attention. Daniel Yankelovich wrote a great article back in 1996 on how American individualism is evolving and pointed out that after the 1960s when it comes to “social duty less value placed on what one owes to others as a matter of moral obligation”.

Tom Wolfe has given the English language many new phrases, but one of the most significant to me is the “me generation.” I think being only worried about selfish pursuits corrupts the make up of what a community really is. This harsh economic times are going to test our capability to be selfless and help others, do things for the greater good even in a small scale. I believe that is what going to make us triumph and come out of these mess way better off as a community and as a country.

Chinese Again!

Lent is over! and well I did end up giving up something after some weight gain, Chinese food. I love fried chicken smothered on delicious sauce, but it just seems like combination of grease, sugar and soy sauce is my kryptonite. So along with my promise of drinking a healthy morning fruit and vegetable smoothie I did not each Chinese for almost 40 days. I am looking forward to eating some fried goodness again, but a lot more conscious about what it does to my system.

The WLC has been a challenge for me this time. After being excited that my weight was way lower (probably just a low dehydrated weight or something) than I expected, BAM I saw what my real weight really was, and I have been able to stay around 251 consistently for most of the challenge. I have lost inches which is great and clothes feel better which actually means a lot more. Nuke has actually lost a whooping 22 pounds and Jeff 16 as of last week! (Great job guys.)

I might do a little push on the last two weeks and see if I can jump start my system and maybe get bellow 240. The weather is getting nicer and outdoor activities will probably be more conducive to getting in shape. I know nutrition and exercise will be the key to getting in good shape again, and it seems like this time the changes however small will be long lasting.

Friday Fill Ins 119

Lets Play AGAIN!

1. Anonymous…_____.
Has done a lot of talking over the years.

2. _____ is a _____.
Sour … flavor.

3. Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, _____.
squeeze that lemon. (I had not read this before I added number two… unless my brain did it without me knowing, he has a mind of his own.)

4. _____ what I look forward to most about Spring.
Not having to wear a coat is

5. Who needs therapy when _____.
You can blog for free!

6. _____ MUST go into the Easter Basket!
I have no clue what (Easter is something that to this day I don’t understand here in the U.S. what does a bunny have to do with Jesus? Was there a bunny during the Resurrection? (Attempt at humor, no need for you to give me explanation (I know all about paganism and the festival of fertility and bunnies shagging and well I have hanged around with Wiccan ya know (We are all double agents for our own factions!) … if you want to share your thoughts on this, do it on your own blog :) ) … what is funny is that my programmers brain is trying to figure out if I did the whole parenthesis thing right… (I cracked myself up)

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____ and Sunday, I want to _____!
Dinner, Indian every Friday has bee an AWESOME choice … cleaning … be holy again!