I know a lot of people. I love that fact, that I have friends of many backgrounds and can sit right next to someone in a train and strike up a conversation. It is my personality to not just connect with people, but connect people. I love the idea of forming relationships and making friends.
The subject of friendships has been heavy in my head since the beginning of the year. I think this year will be a tough one but one that we can learn a lot from and I want to concentrate on making all the relationships in my life stronger. Which brings me to friendships.
Recently one of the issues I have faced with friendships hit me right on the face. I do not have one single friend from my childhood. Granted, I could find or bump into someone I knew back in grade school or from one of the neighbourhoods I grew up in, but they are not friends. As a matter of fact I did when I was back in Colombia and it felt awkward that someone was calling my name and I had no idea what their name was. It took me a while, but I did remember the girl that was talking to me and even now I have a hard time remembering her name.
One of my friends at work also reminded me of this fact. He has a couple of friends that he did not just grew up around but built his life with. They have been there his whole life, and I cannot help but feel a little jealous of that fact. I would not trade having moved and having met so many over anything because it was my path, but at times it would be nice to have friends that reached that top tier of friendship.
My wife made some very good friends here in KC, and the have quickly become one of our closest group. As immigrants we make quick friends and hang onto anything that we can share from our similar cultures. It is hard to not have those friends from back home here, and we quickly replace each other’s close inner circle but only at the little parties we have when we see each other.
My friend from work also in the same conversation said something that made me think about trust, and letting in people too quickly and too much. His observation is accurate, I am a fast friend and fast to trust, but it does not mean that I don’t have tiers of friends. It is uncomfortable to be placed in any kind of tier and I would never do that to the people that call me a friend. However, the reality is that there are different tiers, there are some people that are closer than others.
Funny thing is that while I don’t have someone that calls me their best friend, at least not yet, there are plenty of people that I am extremely close with and will do pretty much anything for. Some of them read this blog, some of them don’t. Some might know how important they are in my life and some might not even have a clue.
I guess my tiers of closeness really are not that delineated. If you are my friend when we see each other I will feel as happy to see you as if I had shared crayons with you in high school. Now I just have to concentrate on managing my time and being able to spend more time with my friends.