Good thing you didn’t choke on that tablet! Dumb things that I do can take a list but a recent one was running across the street at night with a black coat on and it was raining and almost tripping in my clogs in front of a car going 35 mph.

We both thot.. BUSTED!

As we were pulling up in line with the other cars. we were doing anything we could do to freshen our breaths. We both had started chewing several sticks of spirmint gum like crazy. And doing whatever we could to wake ourselfs up.
When it was our turn, the cop looked in with a flashlight and started asking where we were goin. Home I replyed. And my friend would do his best to reply. I ended up asnwering most of the cop’s questions from the passenger seat. In the end the cop was only conserned with the fact that neither of us had our seatbelts on. My friend had a hard time putting his on. And the cop would not let us move until he had it on. As we pulled away we were both shocked at what we had pulled off.
^_^

As for dumb moments… trying to think of one that’s not quite so graphically humiliating.
Let’s see, you know my knees are bad but when I first got hurt all I had around the house was a novelty cane. It was black with skulls on the hand piece and was for Halloween. Well it only had a small gripper on the bottom and that came off pretty quick, so I decided to screw it back on with a bigger screw than the original.

I should probably point out at this point that I was on some pretty good pain meds. So anyway under the wood like exterior was a hard plastic cap and when the (power) screwdriver hit that I decided to muscle thru. Well as I was wrangling for a better hold the screwdriver head hopped and landed not back on the screw but in the tender web of my left hand. It wasn’t deep but took a LOT of direct pressure to stop the bleeding. Unlike XO I have almost no scar to show for it tho.

The most important one is that if I get an infection I could lose hearing completely, so they do one ear at a time to prevent me losing hearing on both because of that.

The other one is that for a period of time you are actually deaf on the ear they fix, so they prefer you at least have a good ear… others are complete loss of balance, etc, etc…

And XO you took it like a man, stitches are for pussies. I used duct tape when I almost chopped my finger off when I used to be a mechanic.

But here is one for you that dates back to my stoner days.

Me and my buddies used to spend a fair amount of time out hiking in the woods. We didn’t hunt, we just hiked. When you’re stoned, it is easy to imagine you are in Middle Earth.

We would occasionally cut a young sapling to turn into a walking stick or wizards staff. That was the goal this day so one of my buddies had a small saw with him.

You can see the trouble coming already, can’t you?

We all find saplings to our liking, get them cut down without incident, and drag the rough, young, trees to our favorite spot….a limestone outcrop at the top of Dillon’s Hill with a grand view of the Missouri River Valley.

We fire up a couple of spliffs and begin passing the saw around so we can trim the branches from our walking sticks.

I picked a sapling almost 6′ tall, so it had a lot of branches. I was too stoned to want to do a lot of standing, so I was sitting on bluff, trimming away.

Holding the sapling in my left hand, wielding the saw with the right.

Trimming a branch that was directly above my left hand.

I’ll just wait here a minute while you visualize the scenario and extrapolate the possible outcomes.

. . . . . . . . .

Got it? Yeah. Thirty years later, you can still see the scar on my left thmb from the saw blade as it finally made it through the branch.

I’m lucky to still have a left thumb.

The place where I was sitting looked like someone had skinned a deer.

My friends refused to cut the hike short and take me for stitches. There were suggestions that I should just suck it up and be a man.

I MacGuyvered a bandage out of some leaves and some vine.

That walking stick is still my favorite.