Better listener

Most of my life I have felt that I am a very good listener, but lately I think that my understanding of the term is a little more complete. I am always quick to give advice and come up with a solution to problem I am given, but more often than not, when listening to others, it is more about those seeking advice figuring things out on their own than actually seeking any input.

Vocalizing an idea is very powerful. Things seem to make it a more sense in our minds once we put them into words. Just like you learn better when you actually teach someone how to do something, talking things out is a good way of solving a problem.

I have made a conscious effort to start listening to other people complete their full trains of thought before forming an opinion. It is a tough thing to do at first, but it has been very useful. While I still value discussion and debate, I think the older I get the more I want to take a step back and see what others have to say.

10 comments on “Better listener

  1. We havn’t gottn together last few months,
    when’s a good time to come over n pummle you on smash brothers? (oh yea and chat) ^_^

  2. “No, you’re wrong… let me interject my solution.”

    That’s pretty much my hardest obstacle too. “Okay, I get it. Now stfu so I can give you my rebuttal.”

    I think the hardest part about listening is when it comes to women. They never just cut to the point and take forever to explain even the simplest of things. Throw in dramatic feelings and it becomes frustrating. Why is everything a big deal?

    It could be this simple:

    Woman: I am upset with you today
    Man: Why?
    Woman: Because you always leave your boots under the coffee table.
    Man: I am sorry dear, I will try to put them away for you.
    Woman: Thank you.

    Unfortunately, they bitch and moan and sulk over it forever… punishing you with their drama the whole time. Get over it already! Cut to the point and move on!

    Guys are simple. You want to get your point across? Get right to the point then let it go. Guys want to provide solutions. It’s what they do. Give them the problem then let them solve it. Leave the rest of the drama for your mama.


  3. “Man: I am sorry dear, I will try to put them away for you.”

    Ha ha ha ha! Sure. Because that is the response a woman will get with no problem. That isn’t a proved fact.

    And yes, we like to bitch and moan and sulk. You guys are no better at understanding sometimes. You may be simple, but when it comes to understanding women it’s like you have to solve algebra equations sometimes.

  4. I pissed Lilly off twice in the last few weeks by jumping ahead to my conclusions before she finished her explanation of the issues. My conclusions were valid, agreeing with her point of view on one and disagreeing with the other, but she was angry that I tried to shortcut the process.

    It’s good you know better, and I just hope I can remember.

  5. If I may quote ROSE from Titanic….
    “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.”


    To Bea– why do some women feel it necc. to bitch, moan and sulk? Sure we all have bad days but is the reason to bitch/moan/sulk a power trip or a very passive aggressive way of getting a point across? Have an issue with Log’s shoes being left out? Tell him. He fixes it. Why go on and on about it or bring it up later? =D Move on!

    Men and Women are equally simple to understand (imo) but mostly it’s about ones egocentric attitudes and who wants to be “right”.

    Back on topic– knowing when to STFU & Listen is a valuable skill.

  6. Women just take an awful long time to just get to the point, whereas men get right to it.

    Men: 1+1=2

    Women: When you have one and you wish to add another one to the one that you already previously had, maybe because you don’t feel that just having one is enough, then the result of the collective quantity is equal to now having two.

  7. “Have an issue with Log’s shoes being left out? Tell him. He fixes it. Why go on and on about it or bring it up later? =D Move on!”

    HUH??? I was replying Travis’ comments. I tell John about the shoes. And hmmm… Are you telling me how to deal with my husband?

  8. I love discussion, the topic went to something way different than what I had in mind.

    I can only speak of my situation, but my woman is pretty straight forward about everything and will nag only once in a while but always about something she already told me about but I continue to do…

    This post was more about listening than nagging, but continue on :) the whole gender thing is VERY relative.

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