Touching people the right way

I don’t watch as much TV as I used to just a year ago, and that is a great thing. I don’t miss it as much as I thought I was going to. This weekend we was lucky enough to find a Wii Fit and I think it will be dominating the TV for a long time. Not surfing channels all the time anymore prevents me from one of the most gratuitous smirks, every time I saw the show “Touched By an Angel” on the TV guide.

I have a very cynical side despite the fact that I do try to be a positive person and try to make those around me smile. I almost did not post about this because of what the haters might say about self promotions, but haters are gonna hate and well, this is MY blog.

I want to thank publicly my buddy XO for his kind words last Friday. Also Nuke who has left some wonderful comments here and elsewhere that really warm my heart. I’ve had a couple of tough weeks and that post really made me feel like giving it that extra push to try and be happy makes a difference. We cannot all be happy all the time, but I just have to try every single day.

Like I wrote on the comments there, my positive outlook on life does not come from just inside me. I am lucky to have a wife that loves me and has shown me what unconditional love really means. Also having friends that listen to me bitch when things are not going my way. Wook and Protus listen to me at lunch rant about things and it helps me get through the day. Without those outlets life would probably be a lot tougher. However, the important thing to remember when having people that love you around you is that you have to also make decisions about your own life and own them.

I sometimes wish I could do more to help my friends. Watching Daniel go through so much lately has made a big impact on me, because when everything is going wrong we need to remember that life ending is the only problem that has no solution. When a life ends before it even has a chance to start, it leaves a void that its almost impossible to really grasp.

Having a tough time last week was rough, but I made the decisions that I had to change my attitude or it was going to affect me permanently. In the end everything comes back to believing in yourself and being able to put one foot in front of the other every single day.

Banky posted a little challenge that I believe is one of the most useful things I have seen in the Internet in a long time. If you are not satisfied with where your life is right now, give it a try!

So thank you all that stand by my side!

8 Responses to Touching people the right way

  1. I commented on his page – here’s what I said:

    Wow, interesting. I got sent here from Logtar’s recommendation, and I’m not sure I can any of the three, for a variety of reasons.

    1) I don’t think it’s possible to view myself as a “10″. Especially being a guy. It just isn’t possible even to pretend that way. How is a guy supposed to do it if you aren’t close to a 10, and actually not come off looking kind of pathetic? For women it’s easy – eye contact with the guys, smile at them, be confident… With men if you try to do that and you’re not actually a 10 or close to it, you’re branded “that creepy guy over there…”

    2) I would love to compliment people, and do when I can (take generous time to thank them for things they do for me) but again, to compliment someone out of the blue would brand me as some kind of weird creep trying to hit on someone.

    3) I don’t really have any relatives I’m close to that I don’t see regularly anyway….

    I’m curious what your answers were to your friend’s questions, now that she followed your instructions…

  2. Barry has a point about the 10 thing, much harder to apply to guys. I have been doing th others tho.

    I wanna say I am sorry I didn’t catch on that last week was so tough man. Usually when we talk you are trying o help ME out, and I don’t hear as much about your life. If you ever do need to bend an ear lemme know tho dude!

    Looking forward to Saturday if we can pull it off!

  3. I think that you guys are missing the point. Being a 10 is not about feeling like you can approach woman, but just about good confidence, not cockiness per say.

    For me, feeling like a 10 is feeling good about how am today, how my shirt is nice and ironed, how my shoes are shined, or my hair is clean and neat. Also how I am doing a good job and finishing stuff ahead of schedule at work. Its about feeling like God put you here with a purpose and you are doing everything you can to do it. Those are just some, but to me being a 10 is about me, not about making the “how yu duin?” face… gift to the world, not gift to woman.

  4. To me, that’s what being a “10″ means. I think if you’re using the metaphor to describe simple self-confidence it’s kind of misused. Kinda like telling me to go out and pretend I’m “hot”, but meaning only to be proud of my tie. It’s just a difference of semantics, I understand what you and he mean now.

    But that said – I think false self-confidence is still a bit delusional. Maybe it’s just me – if I feel I’m actually well-dressed, or doing a good job, or here for a purpose – I feel that already. But forcing myself to pretend I’m something I’m not isn’t helpful to me because it masks the faults in myself I need to be aware of. I know I’m sucking at work lately, but to go out there and tell myself (and others by body language and attitude) that I’m really doing a bang-up job is being dishonest to everyone.

    If you look like a slob and do a lousy job at work, then admit that to yourself and try to improve. Then when you get to the point where your shoes really do shine and your boss is begging you to take his parking spot, then you can feel like a “10″ because you earned it.

  5. And I responded to Barry over at my blog.

    I’ll continue part of the conversation here though.

    First of all, well said Logtar.

    Regarding more difficult to men. I’m failing to understand why being a 10 is more difficult based on gender.

    Barry wrote:
    “How is a guy supposed to do it if you aren’t close to a 10, and actually not come off looking kind of pathetic?”

    Pathetic in who’s eyes? Not close in who’s eyes? You see, I’m one happy motherfucker. I’m involved with my family, my friends, and enjoy their company immensely. I have a plan for my life financially and professionally. I challenge myself on a daily basis to be better.

    If you think Brad Pitt is a 10, and its all based on looks, I’m not in the same league. However, I’m not competing with him or anyone else. I can tell you unequivocally I take great care to look the best I can. And I know where I can do better. And if it becomes a priority to me, I’ll do it. If not, c’est la vie.

    Do I fail once in a while. Totally. But, if you let it, all failure really becomes is fuel for some later success. So even my failures become part of what makes me a 10.

    At the very least wear the first question for a while. If the idea of feeling like a 10 is uncomfortable to you, so much so that you can’t continue, ask yourself why? What can you do so that you would feel more comfortable trying that on?

    If the answer is nothing and you still feel like a goof, put it down. This exercise aint for you personally.

    But I would absolutely argue that men might even benefit more from this challenge than women. I feel a blog post coming on . . .

  6. Barry Said –
    “I think false self-confidence is still a bit delusional.”

    I would agree with you if Banky’s exercise was to make those changes in your attitude forever and not as an exercise.

    Motivation is one of the hardest thing for some people to come by and I believe the exercise lets them try those clothes on to see what it feels like and the work towards achieving it.

    A lot of what you are referring to seems to come from how others see people rather than how people see themselves internally.

    I think what makes the exercise great is that it is all about a discovery face for some people that might be more introverted or lack stem. It is not a society norm on how to become a better you, like some of the other things I hear about in a constant basis… this is 3 simple things to try out and maybe affect your life in a positive way… I am surprised that you have seen so many flaws on it, which in my eyes are just social norms trying to be applied to how someone feels about themselves.

    I have worked for workaholics before, and they thought 9-5 was a joke, they expected 50-60 hours a week, but would really only be satisfied if we put in 80+ hours… then we were working hard for them. Having a family to them was a negative that was never an excuse, because if they could put their family aside we could have too… so I do not go by others expectations if I believe they are in the end unrealistic and unhealthy.

  7. How I see myself is directly tied to how others see me. I’ve learned many times that I can’t really trust my own judgement – and if I can’t trust myself, others are all that’s left.

  8. This is a great post, Logtar! Times have gotten tough lately but I’ve really tried to maintain my desire to remain positive and happy despite my circumstance. Only I can really change how I view the world and handle the cards I am dealt. My life is so much better when I keep an optimistic attitude and roll with the punches.

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