The power of the DMV

The people at the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicle) hold a certain power that they use as a weapon. They know what forms you need. They hold onto that power like it is their sword, and they would never dare to let you know what you need until they have you right in front of them. Why? Well, they want to see your face when they tell you do not have the correct form. That is why they are alive, to see the face of a disappointing person that has to go back to obtain the correct form.

They wear a facade of anger, but internally they are happy, happy that they can tell you no, happy that they have that power, happy that they are making you have to take a little number again and wait for the seemingly random order you are being called on.

That’s right, even to have a question answered you need a number. Why, because again, the interaction that most business have handed to machines to deal with it is still kept alive at the DMV. Instead of being in an endless loop of number pressing, you have a warm body in front of you ready to tell you, get back to the line.

There is simply nothing you can do about it. You need your license or your vehicle titled, you have to go to them. Even though it would seem to be a simpler process handled online, they still want you to come in and bring as many documents as you can so they can have the pleasure to tell you none of the 26 exhibits you have brought are sufficient. And no, it is not allowed to have something faxed, even if it is from another state department, even if will take 3 weeks for it to be obtained by mail, even if you were willing to give a DNA sample.

It is futile to deal with them, it is futile to try to reason, it is futile to try to resist… you don’t even know it, you have already been assimilated.

In other news, I have a Kansas license plate now, YAY, no more dealing with Michigan!

14 comments on “The power of the DMV

  1. Wow, KS bites.

    In MO they post the info you need like 20 places, if you don’t know what you need you aren’t lookin. And when you get to the front, they will let you have stuff faxed. AND if you have to leave to get something, they let you cut back in when you get back (always seems like 5 people come back just before my turn).

    Not sure, but I seem to recall a mail in option as well…

  2. Tips

    1. As mentioned once your in the system you can do it online.

    2. NEVER go at the beginning or end of the month. EVER. THAT was your real mistake.

    3. Go EARLY or go LATE do not go on lunch time.

    4. There actually IS info online on their site but it is hard to dissect.

  3. after you title your car your future dealings with them are done by mail. I’ve heard some horror stories from MO, so there

  4. Well, some people just cannot follow instructions =)

    And people actually want the government to control more stuff like this too! Ugh =(

  5. I just got done doing the same thing! It was for a drivers license and it was in the downtown office. Take a number. Wait for an hour. Then they tell you that you dont have the right stuff, go get the right stuff. Take a number… wait… wait… wait…

    The entire time i was sitting there, i got to people-watch. If you’re into that, the DMV is second only to a carnival or the RenFest.

  6. As of April 2, 2008, all 50 states have either applied for extensions of the original May 11, 2008 compliance deadline or received unsolicited extensions, meaning that the REAL ID Act will not become an issue at federal facilities and airports until December 31, 2009

  7. I feel sorry for you Kansans. The DMV in Grandview is relatively painless. Iwon’t go anywhere else. Never had a problem. Always good people there.

    I hate people with a little bit of authority that act as if they were God’s right hand servant. There’s a neighborhood corner that Handsome and I have to avoid now due to the crossing guard and his inflated sense of authority.

    But I’m glad you survived ok!

  8. About 15 years ago, a friend of my father’s was hired as a high-level, highly paid manager at the DMV in the state where I lived at the time. He had been heavily involved in local politics and the rumors were that the Governor had appointed him to this plum job as a reward. Rumors also arose that he was rarely at the DMV headquarters – it was supposed to be a full-time deal – and instead spent all his time working at his professional practice in a different city.

    The local newspaper where this man lived decided to investigate the rumors, and dispatched a photographer to the DMV headquarters. It had snowed heavily about three weeks earlier and the temperatures had remained cold with little melting. The man had a reserved parking spot right in front of the building with a plaque bearing a “Reserved for _____” warning. It hadn’t been plowed very well after the snowstorm three weeks prior … and the snow covering much of the parking space was undisturbed. Proof that he hadn’t been at his ostensibly full-time gig in at least three weeks.

    He resigned within a few days.

  9. When standing in line, I always check out what paperwork the person in front of me is holding. If I see he’s missing something important, I let him know. Then he leaves the line to go get the missing document and, SKIDOOSH, I get to move up one space and start looking over THAT guys shoulder!

  10. Hahaha — this post is so true. What really unnerves me is the tone of voice that they use with everyone, as if you should know exactly what to do when there aren’t any instructions posted and you haven’t had to visit a DMV in 10 years.

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