Being a positive person can be a bad thing sometimes. Expecting the best out of every situation also has to come with a spoonful of reality. Not everyone is the best they can be, not everyone wants to be the best they can be. This also applies to relationships specially friendships.
One of the hardest things about growing up was realizing that not everyone had the same values as me and it was actually quite complicated. As kids we have this tunnel vision that is comprised of our family, our neighborhood and our school. I had some really close friends that now I realize were just takers, and at times I was even one of them. The first kid around me to have a Nintendo was quite popular until other kids around got one and we went to play at our “real friends” house.
During high school it was also just as hard to find true friendship. One of my best friends during high school and I have not spoken in years even though once in a while I do talk to his family. We both had a similar built, and had light eyes. A lot of people actually thought we were related. Our lives went two different directions after school, I went to college and he kind of jumped around community colleges eventually getting a job at a warehouse. He actually dated a girl we both really like for years to the point that I thought they would be married by now. I found out through his parents that he cheated on the girl with some other woman that he was now dating. I used to spend hours playing basketball with this kid and now my only updates came from his parents.
I also had a similar experience during college. I became close with a lot of people that I now don’t even talk to. However, there I met some of the people that I now call some of my true friends. I started to learn true friends are the ones that you can pick back up as soon as life gives you a chance and with them time feels like it has not stopped.
I have to admit that I was lot older than I should have been when I realized that people have agendas. Some people will do anything to get ahead, some others see relationships as transactions. Even though I did not think that way, I had to get used to that some others do. I also had to learn that building friendships takes work and I like reciprocal relationships. I cannot sustain a one sided relationship because I invest myself too much emotionally.
Since moving to KC I have built some excellent relationships. Some of them if not most are going to be relationships that will hopefully last for the rest of my life. Also recently I came to realize that one of my best friends I have never even shaken hands with. Daniel and I have known each other through our blogs for years now, and we talk and interact more than some of that I do with some of my local friends. I trust and value his opinion and he has already been there for me in some tough moments.
Recently I have started several new friendships. They are all growing at their own pace. I enjoy getting to know people and finding things in common with them. I like my friends to eventually become like my family, relationships are what makes this ride called life worth it… its not about the ride but who you have around you when you take it.