Is Happiness A Choice?

“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable than risk being happy.”
- Dr. Robert Anthony

There are harsh moments in life that sometimes overwhelm us to the point that we want to take a new direction. Some people call that hitting rock bottom. I believe that we all need to experience something of that nature before we are willing to institute change in our life. While it might not be as extreme for some people, it has to be something that shakes us enough to make us want to truly change, to move from talking about change to actually changing.

Risking Burro making fun of me for joining the happiness or positive cult, I believe that we all need to introduce positive thinking into our lives. The more I have tried to change my environment to have more positives, the better things have been. My thoughts have stopped going the wrong route more often than they used to.

I am a person that at times takes everything around me personally. While this is not something that I have completely been able to fix, it has improved tremendously. Most of it has to do with moving the life of control on my life closer to me. I do not let what others say, except for maybe what Burro says, make me change my self image as much as it used to. I now look at the people around me as people that might have other issues going on with them and simply trying to project something at the time they say something to me. I used to take a lot of things at face value, and I now let them sit for a little while before I let my brain think it is truly something about me.

I consider being happy being at peace with the world. Being at peace with the decisions you make, being at peace in the relationships you have. I wish I had been smarter about my feelings earlier in life because I would have not been as frustrated as I used to be sometimes. I remember that I thought that to achieve happiness I had to stop caring in some situations, but in reality is that I had to actually care enough to make decisions about those situations and being at peace with them.

Spending some time once a week looking at LOL Cats might not seem like it is a good therapy, but the laughter they produce have made it seem something I look forward to during the weekends. Spending a Saturday running around might not seem relaxing, but I got so much done this weekend that it felt a lot better than when I did nothing all day. Relaxing for me is not about quiet, but doing something that I enjoy to take a break from what my brain is busy with most of the week.

So what are you doing in your life to take a risk and be happy?

Toxic Friendships

It has been said that we choose our friends, but we are stuck with the family we have. I have at times separated myself from some family members that I had felt were causing negative effects on my well being. However, I have not been as good as doing that with friends.

It has not happened in a while, but I have had some friendships that have been toxic in my life. They have been full of negative attitudes masked as motivators. Some of them have been people that have in some ways tried to keep me back from reaching my potential simply because they either can or don’t want to achieve what I want to achieve.

Even though this does not happen with men as much as it happens with women, competitiveness sometimes can make a relationship very toxic. There is a huge difference between constructive criticism and outright attempts to destroy your self esteem.

Realizing that not everyone around you deserves to be your friend is a hard lesson to learn. A lesson some people might never learn at all. If a friendship is not building you up in some ways, but it is simply taking at every opportunity it has, it needs to be cut off. You will see that in those kind of relationships as soon as the effort is taken out of it, the relationship pretty much goes away on its own.

In a world of givers and takers, it seems that if you are a giver you start getting surrounded by takers. The problem is that eventually you run out of energy to give, and the takers will move away to the next giver. It is often said that during hard times you learn who your true friends are, and this is a harsh lesson that some of us have to go through.

Lucky for me I have great friends in my life now, and those that do not deserve to be, are identified a lot earlier than when I was younger. It prevents a world of hurt when you see someone for what they are and what they want. I see now that we don’t need to do something without expecting something in return, which is a good value, should not necessarily apply to friendships also. The moment we enter the relationship real with other people it needs to be something both people work on.

No matter how much someone looks like they need a friend, unless they truly want one, let them be. If they reach out and you are there for them, it is a lot better than in some cases just extending a hand. I wish I practiced what I preach here, but my personality is such that I am always willing to lend a hand and just hope it does not get ignored.

Me Enamora – It Makes Me Fall In love – Juanes

Here is the translation to a song that makes me think of my wife.

Me Enamora – It Make Me Fall In love
by Juanes

Cada Blanco de mi mente
Anything clear in my mind

se vuelve color con verte
turns to color when I see you

Y el deseo de tenerte,
and the desire to have you

es más fuerte es más fuerte
gets stronger gets stronger

Solo quiero que me lleves
I just want you to take me

De tu mano por la senda,
by the hand through the path

Y atravesar el bosque
And to cross the forrest

que divide nuestras vidas.

that divides our lives

Hay tantas cosas
There are so many things

que me gustan hoy de tí
That Today I love about you

Me enamora
It makes me fall in love

Que me hables con tu boca
That you talk to me with your mouth

Me enamora
It makes me fall in love

Que me eleves hasta el cielo
That you elevate me til the sky

Me enamora

It makes me fall in love

Que de mi sea tu alma soñadora.
That your dreaming soul belong to me.

La esperanza de mis ojos
The hope of my eyes

Sin ti mi vida no tiene sentido
Without you my life has no meaning

Sin ti mi vida es como un remolino
Without you my life is a twister

De cenizas que se van (ooooh)
of ashes that just go away

volando con el viento.
flying with the wind.

Yo no se si te merezco
I don’t know if I deserve you

Solo sé que aun deseo
I just know that I still wish

Que le des luz a mi vida
that you give light to my life

En los días venideros
In the days to come

Léeme muy bien los labios
read the lips ver well

Te lo digo bien despacio
I will say it slowly

Por el resto de mis días
For the rest of my days

Quiero ser tu compañia.
I want to be your companion

Hay tantas cosas
There are so many things

que me gustan hoy de tí
That Today I love about you

Me enamora
It makes me fall in love

Que me hables con tu boca

That you talk to me with your mouth

Me enamora
It makes me fall in love

Que me eleves hasta el cielo
That you elevate me til the sky

Me enamora
It makes me fall in love

Que de mi sea tu alma soñadora.

That your dreaming soul belong to me.

La esperanza de mis ojos
The hope of my eyes

Sin ti mi vida no tiene sentido
Without you my life has no meaning

Sin ti mi vida es como un remolino

Without you my life is a twister

De cenizas que se van (ooooh)
of ashes that just go away

volando con el viento.
flying with the wind.
(X2)

Watch the video here.

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