I have been dealing with a serious amount of stress. Last Friday my sister called me and told me that my Mom had been diagnosed with Pancreatitis (an infection in the pancreas) and it had the possibility of being serious. I immediately looked in the internet and saw that it in fact was something that could be life threatening and my brain started going in all directions. Thankfully I have the wife that I do and she also search the internet and comforted me with information. The only thing keeping me sane is that if she was not hospitalized already it was probably not as advanced.

We spent the weekend waiting. She was going for an MRI on Monday and to see the doctor on Tuesday. She was also put on a liquid diet. After talking to my Mom a couple of times and her breaking down and telling me she though it might be cancer, I was devastated but tried to be strong for her and encourage her. She just lost a coworker to pancreatic cancer a couple of months ago so that is still fresh in her mind.

I am posting about this today because I have some good news, her case was not serious and she is going to be ok. The MRI showed some cysts on her liver, but nothing serious. The pancreas was not swollen or showed signs of cancer and the liquid diet was to clear the infection. One surprising thing is that there is no real medicine for the pancreas, they will give you things for the pain but nothing really to help the pancreas. Even though Pancreatitis is a serious thing and she will be prone to it happening again, with a careful diet she should be ok. The Pancreas is a vital organ that cannot be removed if seriously infected or with cancer. I think the worse of it was the liquid diet that she hated following.

I could not post about this while it was going on. I know everyone would have encouraging words, but I almost did not want to hear them. I think fear was there, and more support besides that of my wife would have cracked the tough exterior that was holding me together and making me capable of functioning. It does make me think twice about what you put in your body as far as food… it makes me think even more of my struggle with weight and eating junk. I remember the last time I eat Sonic, the only fast food that I still somewhat enjoyed. I could seriously taste the oil on everything that I was eating, it was seriously disgusting. Maybe it is just the fear talking still, but I really want to change some things about the way I eat.

Complete Utopia

I know the world needs healing. Just yesterday in a conversation with a friend we touched on the topic of broken families. I believe families to be the foundation of our society and that when they are broken they add to the psychological load that kids have to carry. Kids tend to look for answers and when they do not get them they find the easy one which in many cases is to blame themselves for why their world has come apart at the seams.

That is just one of the things I see wrong with the world, but there are many others… so how come I am still an optimist? It takes effort, but I think it is worth it.

There are certain things that we can control in life, and I believe attitude is one of the most important. The moment we start letting the coffee being cold, or the shirt you thought was clean being dirty change your outlook on the day you are in trouble. I believe that those little things can spiral into a bad day, not because you are having one but because you are letting yourself create one. Look at the cold coffee as your iced latte of the day, or that dirty shirt as the excuse to maybe wear something you have not in a while and if someone asks you are going retro.

I have seen kids mimic those negative attitudes in the past like mirror images of the grown up attitudes. I have also seen those negative attitudes dominate people’s lives.

I have been accused in the past of being unrealistic. I do not think trying to see the good side on almost every situation as the thing that makes me a dreamer. I think that we are masters of what our perception of the world is and if we can make it a little more positive it has the power to change our lives.

While I cannot with one action change the world, I can create my own utopia… and without diverting to much from reality, I can try to find the good side of every situation. Or at least give it a try.

Rewriting the about me page

I find the about me page to be one of the most important for any blog. If I read a post that I like from someone, I always wonder to their “about me” page. I am always disappointed when I don’t find something there.

Mine has gone through several iterations, and I have just done a little rewriting there. However, I still feel that its not cool enough. So, help me out people, what else do you want to know about me? or maybe you know about me that should be put there… help!

Posted in Web


Find it here (Fridays Feast).


On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 as highest), how much do you like your own handwriting?
I don’t like it very much right now because I really let it go by always typing, however you can check it out here, better yet, if you have not done it, do the Handwriting meme.

Do you prefer baths or showers?
Overall, showers… however a nice bath is good once in a while… followed by a shower.

What was the last bad movie you watched?
I think it was Jumper, I wanted that movie to be better :(

Main Course
Name something you are addicted to and describe how it affects your life.
Food. I have an addiction to carbs, bread, rice, pasta, you name it, I love it. How does it affect my life? it makes me jolly.

Which instrument is your favorite to listen to?
Right now, my wife’s Hello Kitty Guitar :) she is totally rocking Guitar Hero III on the Wii. Seriously though, Pianos and Violins are the shiznet to listen to.

Down with the fatness!

I am not sure if you guys have heard Down with the sickness by the Chicago band Disturbed, but it is a great workout song… actually most of their songs have a pretty good pace to exercise to. Actually, now that I think about it… Mr Chimpotle who is trying to be Slimpotle is going to get me some more music soon. I like motivators and music always is for me. Today I got my every couple of months torture e-mail from 43things that reminds me one of my goals is to be able to do 20 Pull ups. My biggest excuse not to get in shape is time, but in reality a lot of it has to do with stress.

I was actually skinny when I was very young. I think up until four years old I was a very picky eater thanks to my Grandmother spoiling me and not making me eat. My Mom fixed that problem all too well and I have been an excellent eater ever since. I now laugh at the notion of me having to take Flintstones vitamins because I was too skinny. I have been chubby from then on, and a couple of times in my life I have gotten to the point that I am now where I can honestly say I feel fat.

30 hit me a lot harder than I though it was going to. I have realized that I have not saved anything for retirement yet and that I need to start building a future with better financial stability. More important than that is my health. I have a history of heart problems from both of my grandfathers and I still carry on this belly that is doing nothing for me but cause me back problems.

It sounds simple right, just quit talking about it and lose the weight. When you come from a family where food is one of the places you draw comfort and love from, its hard to do. If I am depressed about something, I eat, if I am stressed about something, I eat, if I am excited about something, how do I celebrate? you guessed it. I eat.

I know this is all about a lifestyle change, and it has to be done… but how do you quit carbs all at once?

I have been seriously thinking about taking Chimpo’s lead and starting the couch to 5K challenge, but I honestly hate running. Work has been so busy lately that even when I am not physically tired, my brain is in no mood for working out. Tae Kwon Do is has been great for both the mental and physical aspect, but I cannot make it as many times a week as I would like. Then just as I was all pumped to get up early and start working out the whole time change really affected me this time. I cannot go to bed until midnight and I just today was able to get up before the alarm went off (I consistently wake up before the alarm goes of, not sure why I just do).

Being overweight is about self image to so many people, but for me it is mostly for my health. I do not feel like I get the short end of the social stick because I have a few extra pounds. I think it actually made me have a better sense of humor and that has always made me fun to be around. Heck I will even giggle like the Pillsbury dough boy if you poke me… don’t poke though, I do know kung fu.

I guess I don’t really have a point here, I know what to do, I know how to do it… I just need to do it. I thought that maybe getting some of this out of my chest might help me. I guess we’ll wait and see.