Mental Domination

I have theory of why the US is so easily dominated by the media and politicians. I think that this country’s consciousness has been dominated by removing critical thinking. In a debate that ended up in an argument I started to realize that people in this country cannot think outside of their convictions. People truly think that seeing another point of view is someone betraying what they believe.

Compromise and empathy become almost impossible to achieve when you are always thought to only think in a very linear way. It is either black or white and anything in the middle is consider mediocre or lacking. We see that on the polarity of politics and how moderates are constantly attacked for not “taking a stance”. Do not get me wrong, I do believe in strong ideals, morals and convictions; but to have a good footing on your stance you have to be aware of not just what you are standing on but also your surroundings.

The Middle East policy always seems short sided. Giving democracy to Palestine was such a mistake… why? Because we do not understand their culture or way of living. We think that everywhere in the world there should be a nice little community full of cul de sacs. We believe that everyone should enjoy a burger, a beer and apple pie.

I have seen this in many levels of our culture, from the repulsion of what other people consider delicacies to the arrogance to think that eating an animal that we consider a pet is plain barbaric. So many people think that the US way of living is how the world should live and cannot understand how in Japan people are content in small spaces and minimalist environments. Even within our own borders the South does not understand the North and vice versa. Are we really that blind that we cannot see but our own point of views?

Religion is something that causes controversy. Almost every single religion teaches that they are the one true faith. The moment that I talk about how cool Buddhism is as an ideology, or the history of pagan religion another Catholic or Christian will jump down my throat and say you are not allowed in my clubhouse anymore. I believe it is ridiculous that we cannot respect other cultures, other ways of living, other ways of thinking. I believe that as long as another country is not crossing the basic human rights line, they should be able to live how they chose to live without us telling them that a Mc Donald’s and a Wal-Mart is what they need to be free! Free to become consumerist… when are we going to wake up and see that what we are giving the world is not democracy but rather an addition to corporations… I digress.

Stream of thoughts

Life is a river that keeps on flowing. Situations might dam its path, but it will spill over no matter how much you try. All we can do is navigate through it and hope that at each fork we are taking the correct path. We should never try to get back to that fork where we took the wrong path and just wait for the next fork and hope we have found a new way. Don’t ever look back, just move forward and learn, because life is not about the goals and what you obtain but rather about the journey and the experiences along the way.

My So Called Personal Life

I used to never post about my personal life, then little by little I started to open up and post more and more. I went through some rough waters and even though I had some of my situation out in the open, not by my choice, I chose to take the high road and not start a very public online air out your dirty laundry.

At the same time, I felt very violated when it came to my online life. Sure this is not the most important part of my life but it is a part of it. This blog has been my outlet for years now and even though I even consider closing it all together, I realized that there is a lot of value to what I do here. I think what I write has value for other people, but what I write here has a lot of value to me.

I like expressing my opinions, but I have realized that I also like expressing my emotions and that is where the violation comes in. I feel like somehow I cannot express myself anymore because it will be used against me. There have been many days where I want to share my happiness, sadness or frustration and I have felt like I cannot. I don’t have the right to be happy publicly because someone else might find that offensive. I dislike password protected entries because I feel like if I want to share it here I should not hide have to hide it. Also some of what I express is not because that person in my past holds any importance at all, it is because my emotions are very important and part of the healing process should be able to open myself up again.

What is worse, my life is still being invaded in the form of posting of my personal pictures or things about me… yet I refuse to play that game. Even now, posting this I am concerned that some kind of retaliation in the form of written abuse will come off it.

I don’t know how long it will take for the other person to realize that they are just not welcome in my life any longer but that they are truly not wanted. I wish nothing bad upon others, but eventually the attempt of contact has to stop. I do not want any kind of relationship at all with that person and crave the freedom to just go on with my life not even having to guard what I post on my blog, or have to change my phone number once again.

Every story has two sides and I own my side of it. I am not perfect and I made a lot of mistakes in not just the last couple of years but probably over the past 7 years of my life. I thought this whole time I was learning how to not live for other but for myself and it took a lot of pain to realize that I was trying to make everyone around me happy and not myself… even when I was trying not to. Then I saw the light, even though I was brainwashed into believing that the craving to be myself was selfishness, I woke up. It would have been a lot harder if I did not know I was in the wrong place in my life, but my mind had been telling me for a while that I should have gotten out long ago, I just did not have the courage for a lot time and let things like guilt and false hope manipulate me.

What is worse is that I really want to tell my story. I am sure that there are many men out there that are verbally or even physically abused and think it is ok. I am sure that my story could help someone… but then again, the story has two sides and what to me was hell to someone else could have been just normal every day life.

Bloggybirthday to me!

This entry is going to drive Dan nuts… because I bet more people will comment here than any of the other 3 entries that spilled out of my brain today. Yesterday marked the start of my 4th year of blogging… I cannot believe it. Before you say, happy Bloggyversity or whatever it is supposed to be said, check out this entry… and promise to comment more.

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I have been called sentimental many times, and it was not until I read this post that I realized that for me it has a different meaning in Spanish than in English. I think in English must of the time, but the blog world has made me reconnect with many Colombians and when I read their blogs, for some reason my brain starts to think in Spanish or bilingual mode again. It made me sad to know that I somehow began to think of the word sentimental in a negative way.

I blame myself first, for letting the environment and society teach me that sentimental is not a good thing. It is amazing how many people have told me that being sentimental is just not good. While I have understood that applying your feelings to for example your professional relationships is not a good thing, I believe that in life being sentimental is a positive thing… but how could I forget about that?

I have also been called passionate by many of my bosses. Some of them used it as a negative remark… one of them telling me that I was too passionate about what I did and I needed to just not care so much. That same boss believes that people at a certain level of the company did not matter. Glad I do not work there anymore. Even though I have had the word Passionate used towards me in a negative way I did not make it negative in my head. Sentimental though, definitely has changed from someone that cares about feelings to someone that gets carried by their feelings… but somehow when I think of the word in Spanish, which by the way is spelled the same and pronounced almost exactly, in a more positive light.

It could be the emphasis on the syllable of the word, in Spanish the last syllable is the one that gets it, SentimentAl, in English the second to last SentimEntal. Maybe the whole mental thing is what has turned it into a bad word.

I have always been bothered by the dating world and the thought those women want a sensitive guy… I say bullshit, must woman do not want a sensitive guy. Same with the whole, I want a funny guy. I think the guy that treats woman like crap is the one that has more luck in the dating world. I know one of my close friends will agree with me, he is both a sensitive and nice guy and has had a tough time finding even people to date… and he is actually funny, the other word that gets town around.

So I am looking for you guys to tell me that I am wrong, and that here in the US being Sentimental is not a bad thing… that society and people around you or even you don’t consider being sentimental (not over sentimental) a bad thing.