Fridays Feast 131

What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?

I don`t know… you can make your phone sound like anything now… maybe a recorded voice saying (Capullo, Capullo, Capullo)

Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).

Sunny! Light breeze.

What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?

Not sure, I know a lot about some fish like Oscars, Fresh water angle fish and Zebra Danios. I also know a lot about the gaming world in both PC and console. Food, I also think I know more about ethnic food than probably any other subject, LOL.

Main Course
Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. Which books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?

I would read books all day, The Republic, The Prince, Shakespeare. I would also read all of Neruda and whatever the great thinkers of the past wrote.

If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next confection, what would it be like and what would you name it?

Cherry drop. Hard cherry candy with soft filling shaped like a cherry.

The IT Animal Kingdom

Now that I have liberated myself from the last zoo I worked at I feel that it is my duty to document the IT (Information Technology) world for those out there that happen to enter it. I wish I had seen the TV show “The Office” to see if I was ripping it off, but oh well. I am sure that someone has had a similar idea and I will hear a complaint. I’m intending this as a good PSA for all the people out there. It is no accident that I have made all of the managers predators, and it is not due to anger. If I was angry, I would have compared my managers to the characters from the “Wizard of Oz” – no heart, no brains and no courage. Disclaimer: Any similarity with real people is purely coincidental and it is up to you if you want to claim the title.

The Eager Beaver
I think there is a little Eager Beaver in all of us when we start in a new department. This character is the one that is always coming up with new innovative ideas that, while brilliant, will never be implemented. There are many varieties of this beaver, from the one that eventually gets beat down and controlled to the one that actually tells his boss he is just stupid. And, yes, to his face… and, yes, I have seen this one in the wild. Eager Beavers know what they are doing when it comes to technology; however they spent too much time on new ideas and not enough on actual production.

The Barracuda
Very hard to spot and very dangerous. This character, in the jungle, is the one that you think is a friend but it is only gathering information while your guard is down. When the Barracuda attacks, you will never see it coming. The Barracuda has a vast knowledge of the company, they have been there since the beginning of time and are still around because there are so many traps they have set that they pretty much have employment for life.

The Porcupine
I am very proud of this animal. They are masters at not doing their job. When anyone approaches them, bosses included, they ball up and sometimes even shoot back. They have very good knowledge of an old system and refuse to learn something new. It is very amusing to see a porcupine and a brand new eager beaver interact.

The Worker Bee
Thank God for the worker bee. Without the Worker Bee most companies would have closed long ago. You can see the Worker Bee getting to work before anyone else and working very late. The worker bee picks up the pieces that everyone else drops and actually makes them work together. Do not confuse the worker bee with our next friend the Remora. The Worker Bee at times is not as technically or talented, but thanks to hard work they always accomplish the task.

The Sharksucking Remora
My all time favorite animal… if I was a predator that could actually eat them. They are the all time boss servicing fish that keeps them clean and shinny. They pretend to be Worker Bees because they are masters at taking credit for everything that is done right in the company. They might have some talent, but it is hard to tell the difference between accomplishments and stolen credit.

The Peacock
It is amazing how this animal even makes it in IT. They are characterized by a display of knowledge that is outstanding. They chose their feathers wisely since their knowledge cannot be countered by anyone else in the organization. They are so crafty, that at times they even become managers.

The Migratory Geese
Also known as consultants. These birds, that sometimes come from India, come in and promise to fix everything. They are always very knowledgeable, talented and at times cheap. However, at the last second, they are called back to their mother ship and leave the project halfway done. At that point, they promise to send other birds, but these ones are even more expensive and harder to track.

The PM Skunk
Ah, the all too wonderful Project Manager. They are an animal that always knows when to appear. Everyone thinks they are not too bad, but when under pressure, they release a cloud of confusion that leaves projects paralyzed. Do not be fooled by their laborious nature, in the end they will leave you smelling for a long time.

The Irish Setter
They are masters at pointing fingers. They never solve a problem but have an uncanny nose that tells them who messed up and they spend their days pointing. All other animals fear him because even though he is not a true predator. He has the ability to have their backing.

The Orangutan Architect
I could make a whole post about this animal. They are genius that no one else understands. They create the most complex systems for simple solutions. You do not want to ever get into their code because they love spaghetti. Somehow they are also backed by the predators because of their capability to confuse.

The Dodo Bird
Every manager that I have encountered has claimed to be this animal. However, I have yet to find it. This manager says that he will always stick up for you, provide you with training and never look for blame. They are always talking about great benefits, compensation and comp time*. Along with his disappearance, comp time disappears.

The Shark
The most feared animal in the jungle. Even though he is not the strongest and without its habitat he is not much of a treat. He swims around the office looking for victims. Through fear he accomplishes everything and looks like a champ to those on the top. Never ask a shark for comp time.

The 900lb Gorilla
Like other managers, this one rules through fear. This one uses its brute temper to dominate all other animals in the kingdom. If he starts pounding it chest, it is time to leave the premises. Do not taunt this brute or you will be hurt.

The Narnia Lion
Like its movie counterpart this one comes and then goes. This is close to the dodo bird on being the perfect manager but they always seem to disappear or morph into another. I have actually worked with one Narnia lion and it was a wonderful experience. He was the only manager that ever gave me a heads up and told me, “Leave this company, they are going to collapse.”

In other instances, these are the managers that end up leaving because the Barracuda, the Orangutan and the Irish Setter conspire against him and end up killing him at the stone table.

I hope this is informative and entertaining. Feel free to add your encounter with other animals in the kingdom since I am sure there are others.

* Comp Time: Is a fictitious IT tool used to lured employees into working extra hours and weekend in the hope of future time off. The comp time never equals the effort if it ever appears. If comp time is ever offered it is later used as a guilt tool. Beware of anyone that offers you comp time.

Korean Food

Yesterday I found a Korean restaurant and I could not be happier. I am addicted to a Korean dish called Ja jang Myun and since I live in Chicago I have not been able to find a place that prepared it right. It is a very simple dish but prepared right there is just no comparison.

Finding good ethnic food is something that is important to me. When I opened up the menu and realized that this was not just a Chinese take out place because of the Korean characters on the menu I was pleasantly surprised. I even had a chance to speak the little Korean that I knew and the waitress actually understood what I was saying.

Must Korean restaurants cater to to their community, but do not be shy and try one out and you will be amazed at how good some of the food is. The food will have a taste that you have never experienced before, but it will amaze your taste buds. If you can handle spicy food try the Kim Chi, or try the only other dish that places a fried egg on top of rice (the other one is Colombian).

Uh! that smell

I walk into the gas station with the expectation that once again I am going to get skipped. Several times I have been standing there and when they start getting too many people they open another register and so far always someone else that was not even standing in line gets to pay for their gas or pop and go on their merry way. I however get skipped and have to wait for other people, most of the time people that just kind of stand to the side in front of me.

Today was no different, a girl buying a pack of smokes gets to go first skipping not just me but another 3 gas customers. While I wait I start smelling something that at first I thought was lysol. As I turn to look at the smell a pair of half exposed breasts are staring at me. I am not a pig, when I look at women I look at their eyes and don’t concentrate on their breast… however this low cut shirt was almost showing belly button. I am not mystified by them, just amazed that someone would actually wear a shirt that reminds me of the J-lo dress. Then I start to realize that the lysol smell is actually this woman’s perfume.

I start to have a conversation inside my head. I am almost compelled to start small talk, but the breast would probably get on the way. She might immediately think that I am staring or just interested on them… I think of the trailer from “Because I said so” where Diane Keaton (Daphne) and Mandy Moore (Milly) as their characters have the following conversation:

Daphne Wilder: What are you gonna do with your hair? Maybe you outta button those buttons, you look like you’re asking for it.
Milly: I am asking for it!

Is she asking for it? but then the smell comes back and it starts giving me a headache. I start having a conversation in my head…

Logtar: Excuse me, what is the name of that perfume you are wearing.
Boobie Lady: Oh, it is Ou Eau Du Lysol.
Logtar: Is it cheap?
Boobie Lady: No, it is actually quite expensive.
Logtar: You must be rich if you pour a bottle on every Saturday night.

Just as I am about to pass out from the fumes I decide to move to the line with the smoke pack girl. She must have paid with a hundred dollar bill because the attendant seems to be counting the whole register just to make change. I get to pay for what I came for and start to head out the door. The boobs are exiting right in front of me and it seems that my subconscious was right, she is getting into a brand new BMW.


This has been one of those weeks that just seems to fly by. I have never worked in a more focused environment in all of my career. Everyone is very commited to doing a great job and work hard. It makes the work day as well as this week just fly by. Here for you another great Friday Feast!

Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?

I was actually very sick this winter. I have not been sick like this in quite some time. I had 103+ fever and still had to travel. I believe it was a flu bug that went around the office and it pretty much just had to get out of my system on its own.

What colors dominate your closet?

Gray believe it or not, must of my relaxing clothes are gray. Then Blue and Green.

How would you describe your personal “comfort zone”?

I have no idea how to answer this question… I do not even know how to describe a confort zone… I guess if it refers to my happy place, there is a couple. A motorcycle going very fast down a twisty road the other one is my dream home at a remote location that changes all the time… must of the time around water.

Main Course
On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?

I like how the old Real World worked, before it turned into an all drama, all sex spectacle. Survivor would be a good way to lose some weight, but I think the only reality show that would actually take me is the Beauty and the Geek.

Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?

I am not a fan of any holiday in particular. I think 4th of July is cool because of the summer time… besides that, there is no holiday that I really think is above the others. I do miss the way Colombians celebrate Easter… with a whole week celebration that actually does not center around just the resurrection on Sunday.