What to give?

For the last couple of days I have been thinking about what to give in this holiday season. People need hope, perspective, love and understanding but most are going to get the latest gadget or toy.

I love to give advice to others, but it is hard at times to stick to my own advice. I do try to take my own advice and lately I have been trying hard to not take things personally. I have actually more and more finding that having faith helps with keeping me calm, and staying calm helps me have perspective in my life.

Watching the movie Love Actually yesterday for the first time also gave me some perspective. Love is something that is ever so present but at times we either take it for granted or don’t nourish it. We need to tell those around us that we love them, that they matter and most of all that without them our life would not be as happy.

Do not fight with anyone during this season, the stress level is way up and old issues are not going to be resolved in one night. Try to maybe have dialogue with that person before you have to see them in a group dynamic. Don’t drink or eat too much, you will regret it.

You also have to love yourself, it is important to feed your own ego and not depend on others to do so. Counting your blessings can always help on this. This is the time of year where most start to make plans for the following year, why not instead look at what you accomplished on the year that just passed.

Admit your mistakes and correct what did not work. If one of your behaviours keeps on hurting you, or those around you start working towards eliminating it from your life. Why make the same mistake simply because it is a learned behaviour that you seem to have always done. You have the capability for change, exercise it.

Most of all, believe in something bigger than yourself. Family, friends, or even God. I know not everyone is spiritual, but if you think you know everything or control everything you are a fool. You are also carrying a load that you do not need to. Apply the saying that you have heard and make sense… and simply change those things you can, and accepts those you cannot.

This little post is my gift to you in this season… to those like me, Merry Christmas… to the rest, Happy Holidays and to all best wishes.

11 Responses to What to give?

  1. Fantastic post, very well said.

  2. Wonderful post! Merry Christmas :0)

  3. Wow, we watched that same movie this week! For some reason it was in the Christmas movie section at the video store and came highly recommended by the clerks there. What a piece of crap that movie was!! I’m interested in hearing what you thought of it. First off, I can’t figure out why it was in the Christmas section given as though it had nothing to do with Christmas and there was what, maybe one scene in the movie that happened during Christmas? Secondly, we didn’t realize it was rated R. I guess it was a bad assumption on our part to think that movies in the Christmas section would be family oriented! Thankfully we redeemed ourselves by watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” the next day. Now there is a Christmas movie!!

  4. You thought it was a piece of crap? Wow, perspective is everything…

    I saw that it was rated R, my wife then told me that she thought it was funny that it was rated R because of some boob scenes. My wife does not mind nudity in movies at all, she dislikes gore and violence quite a bit… but nudity is not a big deal. We come from a different society where the naked body carries no shame whatsoever.

    Besides that there was quite a bit of obscenity and sexuality but it was mostly funny. It was a comedy after all. I think it IS a Christmas movie because the whole movie builds up to the day… that is where all of the stories unravel. The only part I could do without was the whole, American girls are easy… even though it was pure satire and well, somewhat true… it was just hilarious.

    The humor was pretty good, and well not as raunchy as a movie like American Pie, Knocked Up or Superbad where the sexual objectification is more in your face… in Love Actually sex is a part of love.

  5. Give the gift that keeps on giving… herpes.

    Merry Christmas!!!

  6. I didn’t see that it was rated R just because of the boob nudity. I though it was put to R because of the strong sexual references and the language.

    I guess I didn’t find much humor in the sexuality used either. When the dad guy was talking to his little boy and saying how he was going to get a girl and have sex with her in every room and especially his little boy’s room, I was pretty disgusted! That was humorous somehow?

    The fact that they couldn’t discern between love and sex was also disappointing. I only saw one plot in the whole movie that had anything to do with love and that was the little boy who was in love with his classmate. I suppose the couple who had the cold relationship might have had something to do with love (or lack thereof), but I think all the other sub-plots were pretty sex specific (the prime minister, the porn actors and the English guy coming to America to score).

    I guess I have to disagree that this could be considered Christmas just because the movie builds up to a scene on Christmas day. I mean, really it could have been any day of the year at the end of the movie and it would have been just the same.

    As far as the comparison to those other movies, I haven’t seen any of those so I can’t make the comparison myself but I do think they made the big mistake in this movie of saying sex = love.

    Let the debate continue!! =)

  7. The movie could’ve been a pretty good family one if they left out the nudity and the stupid story of the guy chasing after American girls. The rest of the stories are nice and give hope. C’mon! The little guy with the crush on his classmate? The broken-hearted guy who finds love in a simple girl? The crazy singer who finally realizes his manager is his true friend? I don’t see why those aren’t worth a good opinion.

    The movie is about love, not about Christmas per se, anyway. And I don’t think it’s a piece of crap… It actually is one of my favourite movies, and I do think it shows love in from different perspectives; even the one where people confuse love with sex. It’s today’s society, and we may as well put up with it sometimes.

  8. When the dad guy was talking to his little boy and saying how he was going to get a girl and have sex with her in every room and especially his little boy’s room, I was pretty disgusted! That was humorous somehow?

    In Europe and even Latin America, sex is not something dirty or behind close doors that is never talked about, for the most part… it depends highly on the family. While the kid looked a little young to know about sex, I believe that talking to your kids about sex in an open way is not a bad thing. I first learned about what sex was directly from My Mom who saw me looking at two dogs going at it and explain sex to me at a very early age, I believe around 6-7… I thought the whole joke was funny if they have been talking about sex from a young age. I did not find it offensive when in Kindergarden Cop the kid kept on saying penis and vagina. I think sex should be talked about in the open and it will educate kids a lot more than keeping it hidden and taboo.

    The fact that they couldn’t discern between love and sex was also disappointing.

    I also disagree with you there completely. There was only one subplot that was about sex only and that was the secretary wanting to screw the boss. Everything else was about love, sex was just part of it but I saw the focus being on love growing, staying hidden, staying alive, love that is shown by someone taking care of you, or taking you home every night, love that is born from raw sexual attraction, and in the case of the stand in, love that grows from familiarity even if intimacy was almost pushed on you… it was pretty cool, I thought. The only one that was pure sex was the young coming to America dude, that obviously was to shine the light on how that is also a facet of love. Again satirical and almost not at par with the other stories.

    As far as the comparison to those other movies, I haven’t seen any of those so I can’t make the comparison myself but I do think they made the big mistake in this movie of saying sex = love.

    I also disagree with you completely here, the message of the movie is that love is all around us if we want to see it… the role of sex in the movie is simply that sex is part of love… and IMHO sex is about 50% of a relationship… without attraction, there is a lot missing from a relationship.

  9. I think it’s pretty silly that this became a discussion about a movie referred to in one single paragraph. This is a post about loving yourself and believing in good things, not about some English movie.

    I guess I’ll never understand the need of some people to prove others wrong in any way.

    That being said… it was a wonderful post, my love.

  10. I have this quote from the Dalai Lama printed out and thumbtacked to my bathroom wall. I read it each morning and try to apply its wisdom to my daily life. Some days I do quite well, others not so much, but I think the key is the conscious effort:

    “Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”

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