Kids as Accessories
Raising kids is probably the hardest job there is. Not only do you have to do an excellent job on a subject that has no training or manual; you do not know if the kids are going to turn out ok or not. The best families, the best environment can produce the more rotten kids and vice versa. So why are so many people wanting to have kids? me included?
For me is the sense of family, I want to have a family, raise a family, build a family. However for me that is not a priority because even with just my wife and friends I already feel I have a family. We are also open to adoption but we are constantly faced with the reality of having kids in this day and age. It is a scary place to bring a kid to not to mention the life that you give up when you have kids. I feel kids have to become priority number one when they come to the picture and your life wants and needs become secondary to theirs. Maybe that is the wrong way to raise kids, but that is what I feel right now when I don’t have any.
We have several friends that have kids and feel almost trapped by them. When they are little they are pretty much kidnapped by their own kids. Many have not seen a movie theater for years when they take their kid to the first kids movie. Others forgot what is like to have a date. The only current theme is that they feel guilt and anxiety when they do leave the kids for a couple of hours. What is even worse is when they feel like they have to apologize all the time when they are in a mixed group for their kids. It has not happened in front of me yet, but I think someone has to be either giving them looks or saying something for them to feel so guilty about bringing their kids around other people.
Most of my friends that don’t have kids don’t mind kids around. I am personally not a kid person, but I don’t mind well behaved kids at all. I cannot stand a kid that is so hyper that I feel they are going to hurt themselves by running into a wall and their parents don’t seem to care. That is when I start to wonder, did they have kids just to have an accessory or did they just lose the battle against the kid and they are the ones with control now. It makes me wonder if I should even have kids at all, because I know I cannot handle a kid “being a kid.” Most people I know with kids tell me that I am good with kids, mostly because their kids either seem to like me or listen to me. I am not so sure, I guess I will find out some day in the future. I just hope that I am not alienated by my kids with no friends or judged by the ones that do have them.