Someone else’s life

It is hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. While it is easy to point fingers at how something can be done better or more efficiently it is only the one performing the task that really knows what it entails.

I have always pondered the validity of the saying “Those that can do, and those that can’t coach.” I have also wondered if I could be a good coach for soccer or swimming, sports I know more a lot than what I can actually do.

In the programming world I have encountered plenty of people that think that what we do only requires 5 lines of code. While there are times when a simple change (two numbers) can remodel the whole color scheme in a blog in seconds, there are other times when adding just one simple column to a table can take hours if not days.

Plenty of hard decisions in my life have been questioned by others. Many times the people that have questioned those decisions did not know the whole story, or everything that made part of the decision making process. Those same people have been very vocal about what either went right or wrong or how it could have been done differently… the ones that at times get on my nerves are the ones that say, “You could have done it better if.”

I wish that life was all about doing things how we wanted to do them. I do try to live life that way, however, environment plays a huge role into what you can and cannot do. I would love to donate to a charity involving education in a big way, or pay off not just my debt but that of those I love… however money does not grow on trees. Situations at times put us into positions to only do what we can and not what we want.

I love to hear advice and others point of view, I have learned to use what is said to my advantage now. In the past I used to think that I had to use what others said literally in my life in order for me to “take their advice.” I found that the only thing that I accomplished then was living someone else’s life. What was worse is that at times it was the life they themselves could not live.

People around me have said many things, and advice at times comes disguised as “don’t make the mistake I did.” In reality someone else’s mistakes can be someone’s proudest moment. Take for example children and how many couples struggle to have them and some others don’t want them. While I never believe a kid is a mistake, I do believe there are unwanted children out there.

I have learned many things in life, and I am sure I will continue to every day… but today I truly feel like what others say should be listened to… advice from those we trust should be always regarded as positive, even when it seems harsh or misguided… however decisions should always be made by your set of rules and not by others… even those that we are closest to… we should always be proud of the decisions we make, because even mistakes are lessons that we learn from.

One comment on “Someone else’s life

  1. One of the things that I’ve learned not to do is to try to judge too much about another’s decision, especially in the personal side of things. Rarely do I tell anyone the full story, so I assume they are the same way with me.

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