Male Bathroom Etiquette

The first time I entered a female bathroom was when I worked for Mc Donalds. It was one of the dreaded duties but someone had to clean the bathrooms. I had my first encounter with the “extra” garbage can and just overall niceness of female bathrooms vs. males. If you have not puked yet and are still with me, lets move on to more disgusting things.

I have been in female bathrooms twice after that, and the lack of smelly urinals alerted me that I had picked the wrong one. I have always been amazed that the female versions have couches and overall pleasant smells. Men are not that lucky.

I don’t like using public bathrooms, there are many reasons but I think the one that remains the key to that lock box is that I did not get bathroom passes, I had to train my bladder when I was a kid because the teacher said so. This created the trauma than unless I was at home, I could not fully enjoy the freedom of going as I pleased. To a lesser extent it is that I also call the bathroom the library.

About 5 years ago I took up the drinking tons of water at work hobbie. Why is it a hobbie you ask, the more you drink, the more you have to let out. This is not a problem most of the time since I have trainned myself to be a long distance runner when it comes to breaking the seal.

Not too long ago I had to go to a different building than where I work and had the opportunity to use a public bathroom. It was pretty inevitable and I had done everything I could to wait, but my bladder was as tight as a fully inflated ballon. So I had to go release.

I never thought I would encounter the trifecta of male bathroom etiquette. As I walk in, I hear another guy releasing while being very vocal about his accomplisment. The moaning was getting to orgasmic level and as I got closer to the urinals the dude had parked in the middle one. I had no other choice but to use a stall. As I am waking past him he lets a fart rip… and I was almost impressed.

I got to my destination and started evacuation procedures. I had one that rivalled Austin Power’s duration. Then I hear someone start rapping. Yes ladies and gentleman rapping in a public bathroom. The guy was not bad and would have been not disturbing if it was not in a public male bathroom. I finished my business and even though I did not want to meet the MC I had to… he was washing his hands and to my surprise he was white… and not eminem white, not even Bill Clinton white, he was all the way Dick Cheney white.

Because bloggers were once children

Kid PictureOso put up one of the best meme`s in a while last week. Make sure you visit him and help propagate the idea. Please participate!

It was sometime between 1982 and 83. I was in first grade and was about to turn 5 years old. It is amazing that I still remember some things about back then, and actually remember when this picture was being taken. It was the first time I had seen a pen that would sit on a little block, later I would learn that quills were being held that way for a long time but now people would do this to pens… who knows if people do that with their pens in their offices anymore.

I started first grade when I was 4 years old thanks to living in a school. When my parents first were married they lived with my Grandparents. My Grandparents had a big enough house and it was quite common to do that in other countries, at least when couples are first starting out.

The elementary school that I ended up attending was an old house that was slowly turned into a school. When I lived there, the back wing of the house was still used as a rental place and that was my parent`s first place on their own. I would see the little kids go into kinder garden and I naturally gravitated that way. The teachers were nice enough not to mind me there and my Mom was very surprised when they asked her if I could start attending first grade the following year. My Mom did not want to pressure me into it, but said that I could go as long as there was no grades or any pressure put on me.

I started first grade and did quite well, after that I just continued going to school, and if it was not for many reasons that are another post all together I would have graduated from high school when I was 15. I ended up graduating high school here in the US when I was 18, but it all worked out the way it was supposed to. So, go dig up an old picture and post it on your blog!

Friday Feast! Quick Its a meme.

List 3 emotions you experienced this week.
Fear – Name being yelled.
Relief – My support was needed.
Amazement – A new level of stupidity was discovered.

Name a car you’d love to have.
Easy, Lamborghini Murcielago


Describe your typical morning routine.
Wake up! High Pitch Scream!
Me: What happened?
GF: I just saw my hair on the mirror.
Me: And?
GF: It looks terrible!
Me: Got to pay the elves.
GF: What elves?
Me: The ones you are expecting to style your hair while you sleep.

Main Course
Have you ever emailed someone famous? If so, who, and what did you say to them? Did they reply?
Yes, a famous movie reviewer, and yes he did reply and we exchanged e-mails for about a week.

Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones?
Michael’s, Learn French by Podcast and mine of course.

No Pr0n for YOU!

I am not one to post about the news all the time, but this time I just have to. It is almost ironic that as one local mega church is accused of pocketing money, other churches are out on a witch hunt over porn.

I am not a fan of porn, I like the real thing a lot more, but I am not against it. I think that as long as you are not abusing it (kind of like everyone mentioned about alcohol), it is not going to lead you into the road to perdition. I believe that if your belief system tells you that porn is wrong and sex is only for marrige, more power to you… don’t go into the sex shops.

I think they should be more worried about churches ripping people off. Why not lead an investigation into how much they are pocketing from the 10%+ they are taking from their paritioners.

One of my problems with organized religion has always been the whole give us your money part of it. A pastor tells their congregation, you do not need money, give us your money and you will be debt free (Yes, I have heard this first hand.) and see them driving on Mercedes while the rest of their people go home in their economy cars. Same people that wear armani suits and their wife’s with fabulous make up and more hairspray than should be allowed. That has always angered me a little bit because I rarely see any money going back to the comunity, it is mostly to make the church more mega.

I guess the funny thing is that First Family Church is being trown under the bus by their webmaster. Go Jesus Geek GO! He was a little concerned when building the church’s online store he figured the money was going into a for profit entity…

I should borrow Greg’s monkey to flip the switch on what became Church week here at the blog!