This was the scene this past weekend when I was hanging out with some friends at the party area full of sinners. Once I saw the sign, actually first the other side that said, you are all going to hell, I told my GF to take a picture. The dude took this as an invitation to SAVE me.
I am allergic to crazy, and I was not going to have this dude hand me his little pamphlet. I said, no thanks dude I already GOT JESUS! he insisted on telling me how much of a sinner I was for being there. My patience for crazy was used up a while ago so I insisted on saying, no thanks man. Then he struck a cord, go ahead and get drunk and sin. I turned around and told him, dude Jesus turned water into wine, and even though he could have came back with the whole it was a wedding, he decided to say that back in Jesus day, wine was more like grape juice. Then to add insult to injury he starts telling me about the drunks from the Bible. I was not drunk, neither was anyone in my group. We had just been in the museum all afternoon at the happy hour on the sculpture terrace and went to Westport for just some food, a single drink for some, and actually cookies and milk.
So I guess going outside of my house to anywhere but a church is consider sinning, actually not just that I am going to hell. How dare I consume alcohol or walk around in a place of sin? I personally think the biggest sinner was the dude holding the sign who obviously believes in a very fundamentalist way and its looking at all the girls dressed in very provocative clothes… what a sinner.
The guy embodies my issues with religion. Pushy people that have higher standards than me and therefore are living messengers of God telling me, dude you are not one of the 4400. Almost like Nelson from the Simpsons laughing at me saying, you are not worthy!
The winner of the Logtar award for cleverness and hilarity goes to the dude holding the other sign with my favorite punctuation sign (…ellipses…) , which read… Holding a sign got me NOWHERE…