Spiderman 3 (*)
Spiderman 3 does not suck, it blows, and not a little… it blows hard. I do not even know where to start with this mess called a movie. I guess we should first talk about what was actually good. The movie`s CGI was very well done. The humor that was injected into the movie also worked, even though it was almost too random. There was a couple of moments with some jump out of your sit surprises that were also a nice touch.
I read somewhere that this movie cost about 500 million dollars including the advertising campaign and I do believe it. I think they spent about 300 million in tears alone, the other 200 were to make Spiderman emo. The movie was very poorly edited making the action look like the filler that the drama was supposed to be. It really bothers me when a movie insults my intelligence and Spiderman 3 did just that. I know that revenge is wrong, I do not need every character in the movie sound like a PSA about how bad it is. I also do not need actors with lines that feel read out of a cue card and there was quite a bit of that. Did these people prepare for the roles?
Venom is such a cool character, and having Tofer play it had the potential to make it memorable. While they did try to build the character, they failed miserably. We did not have a chance to either hate or like the guy, it was almost like we had to just laugh at him but not quite engage him. Sandman was another story… he could have been completely CGI and I would have probably been more impressed with a drawing delivering the lines.
Peter Parker from the first two movies was gone, and not just due to the transformation when he came in contact with the alien substance. He did so many things that were not showing his human side but his stupid side. He also became a “celebrity” drunk with fame, which I guess could be a cliche for our times, that should only be reserved by a superhero like the flash. Mary Jane was the girl next door even in the second movie, but in this one she turned into someone that they tried to make you feel sorry for. She did not fight emotionally for Spiderman at all… she expected him to use his super powers to read her mind. Their relationship started to feel very superficial and lacked the depth that it was built up in the other movies.
I also felt like I was watching a Mexican Novela from all the tears. I think every character cried at least a couple of times, and Spiderman was either crying or fixing his hair to look emo. It was also a horrible version of emo, it was more of an 80`s emo than a My Chemical Romance emo.
The movie was also full of stock scenes from the walking down the street to a cool song while doing a little dance, to the cooking and dancing on the kitchen scene. I was very disappointed that creativity was sacrificed and I don`t even know for what. It was so bad at the end that when I was supposed to be crying because of loss I was laughing at the comment my friend made… “He should have totally have said B.F.F. (Best Friends Forever).” Save your money, I even wasted money to go see it on the IMAX and it is not even worth the rental. Pardon me, I need to go puke.