Do I believe in God
Several things lately have stirred the thoughts in my head in regards not to religion but about God. Talking about religion is always a lost battle. Most people do not understand that its a choice we all make one way or the other. Same with what denomination or what you chose to call your imaginary friend. I am not trying to start a debate about religion, but rather make people think about the concept of God. Also, if you are easily offended, don’t waste your time reading any further.
The disturbing events of this week have brought to mind a thought that frankly has never entered my mind fully. How can God allow for such atrocities to happen. Even though what is happening in Africa and with the war should be making more of an impact, 32 college students in the most safe country in the world made it a little scary. While I have always looked at God as an all knowing being, I think that his level of control on this earth is limited and with good reason. If he wanted a perfect world where there was no conflict he would have raised gold fish in a huge bowl. I do not see him as a chess master playing a round against the devil.
I do not think of God as a scientist that is looking at the human race as his ultimate experiment. He is not placing cheese all over the maze that it is the world when there is a strong prayer. However I do think that God is powerful enough to grant miracles. I have not yet decided if the power of God is something that we all share as a single consciousness, or if he is the white bearded dude up in the sky… what I do know is that he exists. Explaining what kind of God I believe in is more complicated than a Chinese alphabet soup, or playing sudoku with roman numerals. I know I could learn to do both, but it would just take a long time. So for this post lets just try to get the brain working.
For someone that still goes to church and calls themselves a catholic admitting that at times I think of God as more the star wars force than the holy trinity is tough to do. However, I think it is all part of what my favorite thing about believing, which is free will. I also see God as someone that forgives.
I think whether I would have grown up without religion at all I would still have come to this conclusion. Believing in something bigger than ourselves is a very comforting though. The religion I chose is more based on culture, custom and familiarity than anything else. The more and more I look at what some people do with religion, the more I think I picked the wrong one and I should go with buddhism.
Fear is powerful. Without fear I think we would not have modern society and it would be a free for all full of people drunk in self gratification. I think religion is good at channelling that fear, but at times they also abuse it. What does God think about that? Not sure, Christians believe that he sent his only son but it seems like just some of them got the message, and most of them interpreted it wrong.
I think religion uses at times creates lazy believers. People that believe on something just because someone else told them to do so. I like to do my own thinking, and therefore I have to analyze what it is I believe in and how do I put it into practice. It has caused a lot of conflict between organized religion and myself, but I do not regret what I have learned.
I chose to believe because it makes me feel in control. I am the one that has to use my decision making power to make the right choices. I do not believe because I fear going to a place called hell, but rather know that I have some kind of reward waiting for me if I act in good faith. I know for many separating the thought of God from religion is almost an impossible task. So I ask you in a very polite way, putting your religion aside, if you can… define the God that you believe in.