Even though in English the play on words is not the same… what happened, happened! as in “it already passed” is a powerful statment. One of the most painful things in my life has been that a lot of people around me have not been able to see what they have until they lose it. At times I have felt like I am trapped in a bad psychological sci-fi thriller where I am the only one that can see reality and everyone else is still plugged to the machines. That can also mean that I am crazy and live in a alternate reality of my own… but thankfully I have found other people that are unplugged and have made me feel somewhat sane. At least as sane as they are.
Life is a beautiful thing that needs to be enjoyed. Living in the past is something that many people fall pray of, not realizing that by carrying the past, they clutter the present and don’t leave room for the future. The living in the future can be just as dangerous… wondering what will I do if this happened, how would I react if that happens… While planning is not a bad thing, we never know what tomorrow brings, enjoy the present already!
The past has the power to define who we are, but we still have that whole “free will” option. People think that fortune telling has no power, but wait until you hear something someone tells you in one of those sessions and a lot of times we make those things happen. I believe we can change who we become even with a dark past. Bad things happen to good people, but bad circumstances should not make bad people. Change is difficult but possible, and the fist step towards a clean future is to cut ties with the past.
I hate regret and try to avoid it… I was taught a hard lesson not too long ago and learned the meaning of the word regret for the first time. If I could go back in time, there is now something that I would take back… it does not matter how much I learned, it does not matter how much I grew because of the experiece, it does not matter how much I want to be positive about it… I want that time back… I learned about regret.
I wonder if having failed relationships makes you a better person in the end. I wonder how jaded you become, and how much that truly affects your ability to love. Learning about what to do and not to do in a relationship, does that require pain and heartbreak? Learning to trust your instincts, learning what trust is, learning who deserves trust; does that require your trust being broke? I wonder, is getting married to your highschool sweetheart better than dating a couple of satan’s daughters before you meet the woman of your dreams? Are we going to be able to appreciate the right person when they enter our lives? Do we take for granted our highschool sweet heart if that is only person we have only dated as adults? Is the question, “where have you been all my life” even valid?
Here I am, trying to drink my own koolaid and chocking on it. Maybe this is one of those lessons in life that teaches me about fear. I had feared regret and that is why I had avoided it so much; now I can say that I have experienced regret and can live with it. I can actually say that knowing about regret makes me a better person and lets me know what to do and not to do. It also teaches me not to take anyone for granted… including myself. You would think that a big regret will make you change who you are… in the end, at least for me, it solidified everything that I had believed. It all comes with the territory, being a positive cynic and all!