Grow old together

One of the biggest paradoxes in my life has been the definition of love. If I have tried to love so hard, why have I never been in love? Over and over in my head I have tried to define what love is with no luck… that is until now. I think I have finally found a good definition for that feeling that is so hard to define.

Before getting into the solution to the problem why not talk about the road there? How many times have I really loved? Is any love ever complete? Can you have true love with only one person feeling the need to do everything possible to make the other one happy? Is there such a thing as unconditional love?

Love is not perfect, that I know. Love is something that cannot exist without peace, patience and hope. Love without lots of humor is not much fun. The is actually not a bad place to start looking for a definition for love. 1 Corinthians 13.

After being in serious relationships I thought I had it all figured out. After telling people that I loved them I figured I knew what I was talking about. While I had the feeling right, the emotions in tune and the delivery supposedly down path I thought I knew how to love. However the mix for that love potion was not mixed correctly and in a couple of occasions it made me sick… one I thought it was going to kill me.

The first time I thought I was in love is probably the hardest to rationalize now… should I call it puppy love, or should I give it the respect of the way I felt then. I can only hope that some day I can feel that innocent love again and that it has not been tainted. The woman I married, and who I am still very good friends with, I loved as a friend and now I also hope that I can someday love someone and call them truly my best friend. The first time I felt love mixed with passion was intoxicating, to the point that I did not see how wrong it was for me to be with someone that was in a total different timeline than mine… then again I still want to feel that passion and not be blinded by it. The last time I loved was the first time I was truly committed, to the point I lost myself in the process… I did everything for someone that did not deserve any of what I had to offer… yet I still someday want to love someone so much that I would truly do anything for them.

Mixing elements in a chemistry lab is something you are not supposed to do unless you know what the reaction is going to be. How are we supposed to know what the correct amount of doubt, insanity, or faith is supposed to be mixed in. I have so many times loved with so much doubt in my heart it was insane, and the only think that kept it going was faith… faith not just in a relationship but as sick as it sounds, faith on myself to be able to be something that I was not just to make someone else happy.

For the longest time my definition of true love was very simple. It is when two people feel the same way about each other. Maybe I still have it wrong, but today after giving it a lot of thought I have come to the conclusion of love is when you can find someone that you want to grow old together with.

6 comments on “Grow old together

  1. Is there unconditional love? Sure, from God and from parents to children (although not all of them). =(

    Does the “feeling” of love change over time? Of course it does. People don’t stay static. They change. I’m sure you’ve experienced the honeymoon phase of romantic love as well as the opposite (not sure what to call that). Does that mean you don’t love the person anymore because the feeling changed? Of course not!

    So, what is “true” love? I’m not so sure that humans can really attain the height of that ideal. The Bible says that God is love. And the way it describes God’s love for us is quite profound. So, love in it’s purest form is probably not totally comprehensible by us. We are probably only scratching the surface =)

  2. I love you! You make my heart melt when you put things like love into your perspective. It makes me all dreamy.

  3. Growing old together… I think that’s part of it. I saw something on Dr. Phil 3 years ago that has stuck with me up until today. Love is different for every couple. There is no magical “love is…”, because love is what you and your partner make of it.

  4. I think I already said it, but love is what is left after falling in love. When the infatuation is gone, and you realize you can live without that person, but you prefer live with them. Or when you don’t think there could be anyone better. It may sound like a lot of crap, but it’s true.

    Posts like this make me want to cry, because when I read about what true love could be, the only thing that comes to my mind is the relationship my parents had. The commitment, the respect, the staying together no matter what.

    Love is much more than just having fun, or just having a great sex life, or just being committed. It is a combination of all those, but most of all the capacity to see the world through your partner’s eyes and realize you owe each other respect.

  5. Love, to me, is the glue that holds you together even when things get really bad. Lord knows, my wife and I have gone though some hard times and it was love that kept us together even during the weeks (and sometimes months) when we really didn’t like the other person.

    I knew I found my “better half” when we loved each other in spite of how completely different we were at the time (and to some degree, still are)… we balance each other out so perfectly, without even trying to, that there’s no other explanation for it.

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