I walk into the gas station with the expectation that once again I am going to get skipped. Several times I have been standing there and when they start getting too many people they open another register and so far always someone else that was not even standing in line gets to pay for their gas or pop and go on their merry way. I however get skipped and have to wait for other people, most of the time people that just kind of stand to the side in front of me.
Today was no different, a girl buying a pack of smokes gets to go first skipping not just me but another 3 gas customers. While I wait I start smelling something that at first I thought was lysol. As I turn to look at the smell a pair of half exposed breasts are staring at me. I am not a pig, when I look at women I look at their eyes and don’t concentrate on their breast… however this low cut shirt was almost showing belly button. I am not mystified by them, just amazed that someone would actually wear a shirt that reminds me of the J-lo dress. Then I start to realize that the lysol smell is actually this woman’s perfume.
I start to have a conversation inside my head. I am almost compelled to start small talk, but the breast would probably get on the way. She might immediately think that I am staring or just interested on them… I think of the trailer from “Because I said so” where Diane Keaton (Daphne) and Mandy Moore (Milly) as their characters have the following conversation:
Daphne Wilder: What are you gonna do with your hair? Maybe you outta button those buttons, you look like you’re asking for it.
Milly: I am asking for it!
Is she asking for it? but then the smell comes back and it starts giving me a headache. I start having a conversation in my head…
Logtar: Excuse me, what is the name of that perfume you are wearing.
Boobie Lady: Oh, it is
OuEau Du Lysol.
Logtar: Is it cheap?
Boobie Lady: No, it is actually quite expensive.
Logtar: You must be rich if you pour a bottle on every Saturday night.
Just as I am about to pass out from the fumes I decide to move to the line with the smoke pack girl. She must have paid with a hundred dollar bill because the attendant seems to be counting the whole register just to make change. I get to pay for what I came for and start to head out the door. The boobs are exiting right in front of me and it seems that my subconscious was right, she is getting into a brand new BMW.