I walk into the gas station with the expectation that once again I am going to get skipped. Several times I have been standing there and when they start getting too many people they open another register and so far always someone else that was not even standing in line gets to pay for their gas or pop and go on their merry way. I however get skipped and have to wait for other people, most of the time people that just kind of stand to the side in front of me.
Today was no different, a girl buying a pack of smokes gets to go first skipping not just me but another 3 gas customers. While I wait I start smelling something that at first I thought was lysol. As I turn to look at the smell a pair of half exposed breasts are staring at me. I am not a pig, when I look at women I look at their eyes and don’t concentrate on their breast… however this low cut shirt was almost showing belly button. I am not mystified by them, just amazed that someone would actually wear a shirt that reminds me of the J-lo dress. Then I start to realize that the lysol smell is actually this woman’s perfume.
I start to have a conversation inside my head. I am almost compelled to start small talk, but the breast would probably get on the way. She might immediately think that I am staring or just interested on them… I think of the trailer from “Because I said so” where Diane Keaton (Daphne) and Mandy Moore (Milly) as their characters have the following conversation:
Daphne Wilder: What are you gonna do with your hair? Maybe you outta button those buttons, you look like you’re asking for it.
Milly: I am asking for it!
Is she asking for it? but then the smell comes back and it starts giving me a headache. I start having a conversation in my head…
Logtar: Excuse me, what is the name of that perfume you are wearing.
Boobie Lady: Oh, it isOuEau Du Lysol.
Logtar: Is it cheap?
Boobie Lady: No, it is actually quite expensive.
Logtar: You must be rich if you pour a bottle on every Saturday night.
Just as I am about to pass out from the fumes I decide to move to the line with the smoke pack girl. She must have paid with a hundred dollar bill because the attendant seems to be counting the whole register just to make change. I get to pay for what I came for and start to head out the door. The boobs are exiting right in front of me and it seems that my subconscious was right, she is getting into a brand new BMW.
10 Feb 07
Lysol??? LOL — And you meant Eau du Lysol, right? Muahaha!
Sorry, I’m a French snob.
Ewww at people who put on too much perfume. It makes me sick.
11 Feb 07
Yuck I can’t stand when someone wears so much perfume or cologne that you can actually taste it. She must’ve been awfully stinky if she had to wear that much! hehehe
11 Feb 07
Wow. It’s gonna take a while for al lthat to seap in, just like her perfume.
11 Feb 07
Personally, I wear Pledge. It has that hypnotic lemony smell that the womens absolutely adore.
11 Feb 07
The too much cologne is really horrible especially when it’s at church, where you can’t get away from them for at least an hour.
I really want to see Because I Said So
11 Feb 07
There’s some lady, she must be fifty something living in my building, she lived in the US but came back to Colombia, anyways this lady uses some sort of perfume, I don’t know which one is it, but it smells like hell and she uses the whole flask on her, so when she steps into the elevator, the smell will last for hours, we call it the Old-gringa-latina scent, cause my aunt uses the same damn perfume, and she lives in Canada. I hope the health authorities do something about it.
12 Feb 07
Wait… you called soda “pop”? WTF?!
14 Feb 07
I’ve been really wanting to try the Pine tree scent that Phyllis wears in The Office. One of my co-workers like to delouse himself at lunch — and i don’t understand b/c he’s married, so who cares if he smells good?