Tomorrow I will be starting a new job. Even though I have a lot to say about why I left my last job I rather not talk about all the negativity… in a nutshell what was promised was not delivered and I was left with only one choice, to look for another job.
It was stressful to know that I needed to get a new job and I had not planned for it. I should have started looking months ago because for a while I had the feeling I should. I should have trusted my insticts. I stayed committed to a place that was not committed to me. The situations that were internal to the place I cannot discuss here. The personals situations that made my life at work harder I will not discuss in detail, but I do want to record them here for the future. For the first time my personal life was affected by my professional life. I also trusted the wrong people with my opinions and well, once words came out of your mouth they are free to be twisted or misinterpreted.
I had to learn two hard lessons. The first was that no matter how good of a professional you are, without a safe heaven to recharge your mind you are eventually going to hit your limit. The second was that you are “the master of what you keep, and the slave of what you say.”
I am moving away from the consulting world to go back to being an internal resource. This has always been a better situation for me. With consulting I have always loved the work and the clients, but for some reason the consulting firms do not seem to have everything under control or the bottom line is part of their mission statement. There is nothing wrong with wanting to money, but I think the client or product should be the first priority and not bottom line. I think when the priorities are set right, success is a given.
The title of this post means a lot. I am glad to say that the storm is over and a new light is shinning through the stormy clouds that are giving way to a clear sky. I was lucky enough that the same day that I started looking I was contacted by someone that needed someone with my experience. I was also lucky enough to have over six different opportunities come together in just a week, but the first person I talked to had the right opportunity for me.
I am happy because for the first time I have the feeling that I have found a company that will be a place I can stay at for a long career. So many times I have had that dream, that expectation, but deep inside I knew that it was almost an unrealistic goal. My life has changed a lot in the past six months and I have started to feel something that I knew I could feel but was not able to do before. I am able to trust. I always thought that doubt was part of every situation, but now I am learning that in the right environment and situations doubt is not a factor. I think it is mostly because I have a new found self confidence different from the one I had before. I truly trust myself. It might have a lot to do with how much closer I feel to God now, I have been praying for internal peace and it seems that I have been granted just that.