So, do you know that movie theater that used to be cool when it was brand new but now its not owned by a chain anymore… yea, the lack of fundage took me there. Well it was more my friends paying or me.
So as we arrive I see so many people hanging out outside, mind you it was freaking cold, that you would think they were giving away free ipods. The age demographic was from teenager to young adult, but the intelligence was around 5 or 6 year olds all around. We make our way through the croud, I am there with Aaron, built like a lineman for the bears, his sis and her boyfriend. People part way because face it, we already look annoyed enough to give a wedgie.
So I am perched just from looking at all the drooling that the nimrods were doing all around me and since I did not have to pay for the ticket I felt like a super sized 4 dollar Pop. I reach of the straws and see that the size of the straw is just not going to allow me to drink all of my pop… so I ask the only adult in the room working behind the counter for longer staws and I swear he looked at me like it was a huge revelation that the straws were too short. Then he said we don’t have any.
When we entered the theater I felt like I was entering a Olson twins concert or something. People were standing up and just talking at a volume that even for outside talking was too loud. “O’h my GoD, Britney come and sit over here.” Then the guys enter… Josh, Josh… hey man, where are you sitting. I am half hoping that they are all going to begin a makeout session with Britney and Tiffany, but no… the two doods sit together and start getting way too close for my confort.
Preview begin, and the noise level seems to rise… the projectionist turns the speakers so loud that the back speakers sound like they are going to come off the wall. As the volume for the previews go up so does the volumen of Britney’s and Tiffany’s conversation. Mind you there is not just a pair of Britney’s and Tiffany’s its a whole Mabeline Battalion… I am starting to wonder if they put some kind of weird compound on their make up… warning, putting this on your face will make your voice go to a pitch that can throw bats off course mid flight.
The movie is about to start and I’ve had enough. The people in front of me are probably just a little younger than I am and probably should have warned them. I took a deep breath and yelled “Sit down and Shut the f@ck up!” the guy in front of me said thanks and people started to applaude. The rest of the movie was not completely quiet, but it was at least manageable. Man do not ever want to go to the cheap theater again.