Survivor battle of the races?

The buzz this morning in several places has to do with the new Survivor. I admit that I watch it because someone else puts it on, but I am not that interested. I have only watched about 3 seasons and never really every single episode. The rumor is that as Survivor begins the 20 contestants are divided into races. Four groups, White, Hispanic, Black and Asian.

Even though this might offend people, will it turn fans off? For me it brought up a bigger question. Is this something that I should let my child watch?

Today’s TV is full of filth and even though we have a lot of control with the DVR, Survivor has always seemed like one of the cleanest shows overall. It is exciting to see the competition, but can the message of do everything you can to win even cheat and lie something I want my child being a part of?

Last season was great. A lot of people tried the honesty route, and even though they still played the game they did not necessarily compromised their morals for the game, at least not completely. That was cool to watch and I believe good lessons can be learned there.

Now this whole premise of a race survivor comes up. My child being in a mixed race environment has a lot of things to learn and be aware of. Can the separation of races really teach him that the ultimate goal is equality and unity? When Carlos Mencia in his comedy show did the Race Stereotype Olympics I thought it was hilarious… why am I so worried about survivor?

Races in a small geographical location are very different from one another. A Hispanic person from Chicago is a lot different from someone from Texas, and that is not even taking into account the original nationality of the Hispanic person. I believe the same goes for a lot of Asian people. Someone for Korea is a world away from someone originally from China or Vietnam. A Black person from Tennesse is also a lot diffeerent than someone from Chicago… you get my point. Can drawing race lines even on a national show do anything positive?

I am hoping that is the case. I am hoping that we see some positive things come out of Survivor and that it ultimately breaks some stereotypes instead of perpetuating them.

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So I go back to Tae Kwon Do

After a very long hiatus from Tae Kwon Do, I go back to the art. Even though my friend Eric, a very talented martial artist still thinks that Karate is the ultimate, I have settled for a Tae Kwon Do school very deep rooted in Shotokan.

I practiced Kung Fu for a little bit back in Midland and thank God I did that… I would have not survived the work out if I had not dusted off some of the kicks and stretched those muscles this year.

I started my quest to find a school since I got to Kansas City. I had been very dissapointed to see the places where people were training. I was also very surprised to the the prices some of the schools. I had pretty much given up looking for a school close to home when I discovered a place right down the street from where I live now. I stopped by on a Friday and the school was closed, but I was able to check it out the next day.

The teacher seemed very commited to teaching the art and not just wanting money. He offered family rates which was something I was also looking for. The school had a great workout area and I could not beat the location so close to home.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go check it out. The class mixes adult and children, something I have not experienced yet, but I am looking forward to. There are a lot of classes available and I can attend as many as I want. The place seems like an excellent place to get a work out, meet some new friends and most importantly learn an art. Even though I will have to start from the beginning because the forms are very traditional and I don’t know them, I think I have been lucky enough to find a school sooner than I imagined.

Freaking Headache

I almost feel like just chopping my head off so it can stop hurting… my back also hurts like there is an alien crawling between the muscle and my ribs… all stress related, all will pass in due time, all for the experience of having projects be your responsability.

In other news, I had a wonderful weekend with my family, even though I had to work we still managed to laugh and hang out. I hope everyone had an excellent weekent.

Sarcasm, Teasing, Why aren’t you laughing?

I have a couple that I am friends with, and partly because I sometimes I experience the same problems and also because I do not want to put people’s dirty laundry out here I will make this as general as possible. Humor is one of the most important things that you can have in a relationship, so how can it be the cause of a relationships demise?

Finding someone with the same sense of humor as you in the opposite sex is almost impossible. Sure there are some people that would laugh at everything, but it does not mean that everything that you say is funny, it means that that person just laughs at everything (or they are perpetually stoned). I have been told that I am funny. I call myself sarcastic by nature, those of you that have met me in person might think that I am very sarcastic all the time… however sometimes sarcasm can hurt.

We all have boundaries and secret weak spots on our personalities. Most of the time the only people that know those things are those closest to you and they can use them against you. If we are sensitive about the way we look, a simple remark can leave scars that are deeper than anyone realizes.

I was picked on as a child. My friend Julian could tell you stories how I was teased over and over for being too young for my class or too fat all the time. The teasing at times went beyond just verbal and it became either a physical thing or vandalism toward anything I owned. At the school we attended we used to have to provide our own desks, and mine was destroyed more than once. I have come a long way from those days and my self esteem is a lot better now, but believe me, those days were some of the most horrible in my existence.

So when is teasing too much? I personally believe that as soon as someone’s feelings get hurt regardless of how sensitive that person is. But what happens when the other person does not stop? How do you make that other person quit teasing? What if that person that does not let up is your spouse? I really wish I had the answer. You might be surprised how often this happens in relationships. All situations might not be as bad some of the ones I know about, but even if it is a simple “Your hips cannot make it through the door” every time other people are around can make someone feel minuscule.

One of the articles I read on the subject before I wrote this had a great quote

Virginia Satir, a family therapist, has said that “Teasing is often unacknowledged hostility. It is an attempt to avoid responsibility for being honest. Teasing is often an effort to disclaim the presence of hostility and in effect, everyone loses.”

I believe that so many people hide behind the pretense of humor to avoid real communication. Teasing should never replace actual communication, and if you are unhappy with your partner’s looks you should try to help and not tease.

Of course not all teasing is bad, and a sign of a strong relationship is being able to tease each other all the time. When the teasing becomes a war of words where the insults start to fly and tempers flare, it should be flag that maybe that form of communication is not the best.

Another article I read had a good quote about sarcasm,

Sarcasm comes from the Greek word “sarkasmos” meaning literally to bite into the flesh. Although the image is crude, anyone who has been the target of biting humor understands its sting.

It also had a great excerpt about humor

In C.S Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters a senior devil writes to a younger devil about a similar type of humor. “Every serious subject is discussed in a manner which implies that they have already found a ridiculous side to it. If prolonged, the habit of flippancy builds up around a man the finest armor plating against the enemy [God] I know … It is a thousand miles away from joy; it deadens, instead of sharpening, the intellect; and it excites no affection between those who practice it.”

I wish I had more answers than questions in this subject, but overall is more about having some food for thought. I just want to make sure that in all of your relationships, no matter how sarcastic or funny you think you are, you stop and think of others feelings… we are not all funny all the time.

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La vida es hermosa – Life is beautiful.

English Version

Sentarse a pensar en la vida es una cosa que es difícil para mucha gente, pero el no hacerlo es peor. Muchas veces entramos a ciclos en la vida en los cuales nos enfrascamos en la cotidianidad. No hace mucho alguien cercano a mi me dijo que la vida que esta viviendo se siente sin propósito, sin metas. Me dolió bastante escuchar eso, no solamente porque es una persona cercana a mi, pero porque es algo triste vivir una vida sin propósito.

La vida es una cosa muy bella, pero solamente si la tratamos como el regalo precioso que es. A veces vemos las cosas de una manera en la cual nos dejamos llevar por los sentimientos derrotistas, y dejamos de luchar por vivir. Luchar por vivir siendo mas importante que luchando por la felicidad. Es muy importante saber que los momentos difíciles y tristes son también partes necesarias de la vida. La vida es un camino en el cual es mas importante como lo recorremos que para donde vamos.

Tener metas en la vida es importante, pero hay que tener metas que al fin de cuentas uno pueda estar orgulloso de ellas. No solamente de las metas pero como se alcanzan. Si hoy yo te preguntara cuales son las metas en tu vida y si estas orgulloso de lo que estas haciendo para alcanzarlas que me dirías?

En este ultimo ano he estado rodeado de muerte. Aunque me han dejado el corazón en un estado critico porque se siente como si a una bomba (globo) le hubieran sacado el aire, también me han dado la oportunidad de mirar a la vida por lo bella que es. Celebrar los logros de las personal que ya no están con nosotros es mejor que llorar lagrimas porque nos hacen falta. Como humano quiero contribuir al mundo. Antes pensaba que tratar de hacer a la gente feliz era lo mas importante, ahora creo que en realidad lo mas efectivo es ser lo que uno es y esperar que la demás gente lo acepte a uno y comparta no solamente risas pero también lagrimas. Lagrimas de desahogo te llenan mucho mas que sonrisas forzadas. Hoy, sonríe, llora, comparte con alguien al que tu quieras y veras que esta vida es en realidad hermosa.

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