Being Fat Make Me Invisible?

Weight is a hard subject to discuss. A lot like racism it is hard to hear people’s opinion if one belongs to one group of the other. I have been overweight most of my life. I’ve had some periods of time when I was a little lighter, but as I joke about my metabolism checking out with the Y2K, there is a lot of truth to my battle to staying fit.

I have always strived to be in shape and have a nice looking body, not just to be skinny or follow societies standard for beauty. I do not find overweight people repulsive like so many others do. The sad part is that a lot of people that feel that way might be right next to you and you would never know.

Does being fat make me invisible? that is something that I have wondered at times. I have encountered a lot of people that are overweight and are almost shocked when I say hello or smile if we pass by at a mall or sidewalk. I get a look of surprise mixed with disbelief. I then started to understand that sometimes being overweight makes you invisible to others… or in some cases the cause of ridicule or gawking.

While there is a certain level of personal responsibility that goes along with being overweight, there are many factors that contribute to the problem. Some emotional, some hormonal, some cultural, and sometimes all of them at once. I don’t blame Mc Donald’s for making America fat, but I do to some level blame our lifestyle. Food becomes everything but what it is supposed to be… believe me, in other countries they don’t use the term “comfort food” like we do here.

So for whatever reason you are fat… does that make you less of a person? does that make you undesirable to society? Should you then just be sent to a camp with all the other overweight people so that the “pretty, skinny people” can just look at each other?

Our society is very superficial and almost incapable of accepting anything other than the norm. The scary part is that the norm in our society is dictated by pop culture, and more recently celebrity culture. I get to talk to a lot of young people via the motorcycle message board, and I constantly hear put down towards overweight people. It is sad to know that unless you are someone that looks like Barbie or Ken, most young people today will not even look at you.

I strive to lose weight for myself, to feel better physically and mentally. I don’t deny it, I would love to have a six pack instead of a keg for a belly… but it is more vanity than wanting to comply with societies standards which are unrealistic and idiotic. Other cultures look at being overweight as a sign of health, and while that is not what I promote I believe that we need to start looking at people in other ways instead of the groups that their appearance puts them on.

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12 comments on “Being Fat Make Me Invisible?

  1. Very well said Logtar!! I agree with everything you said here! All I can say is thank the Gods that hubby likes his women voluptuous or I’d be in trouble! On this note I think something worth mentioning is the fact that what most people prefer and what pop culter dictates are 2 very different things. Now it’s all the rage to be bone thin and but if asked most people prefer the opposite.

  2. John,

    Your much to much of a loudmouth to be invisible to us. Im going to miss you attacking the beaver.

  3. I find this post to be very interesting. As an overweight person myself, I recently joined Weight Watchers and one of the meetings our leader asked us to list things that makes it hard to be overweight. A lot of answers were thrown out, anything from tying your shoes, to how society receives you. One thing that I notice a lot, but have often wondered if it was just in my head is that I feel like people don’t have as much respect for an overweight person as they do for Barbie. Many times, I have said that I believe society allows for the “pretty people” to have it easier in life. I think that they have a leg up in many ways. I think that a skinny blonde(or redhead or brunette) woman will be chosen for a job over a heavyset woman almost every time. Maybe this is all in my head, but I don’t know maybe there are other people that feel like I do?

    I also think that being overweight makes it difficult when dating. So, on one hand I think to myself that “maybe if I were thin I would have more offers for dates?” The way I feel about that is…If you can’t like me for who I am inside and out, then you aren’t good enough for me. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to feel like I need to change who I am to make someone else happy. So now you might wonder why I am going to Weight Watchers? The answer is simple, I love my child and being alive and I am afraid that if I don’t make some changes, I might not have a long life to watch him grow up and become the man I want him to become, so I have said goodbye and good riddens to 13 pounds so far and counting. It will be a long journey, but at least I have made the decision to do it for me and not for society. About that I feel good. And Logtar, thanks for being you.

  4. John,

    Knowing you for as many years as I have, I can honestly say that I never even addressed that. I’m almost baffled that you brought it up. I guess I just don’t see it that way. Or maybe it is because all of my friends are fat-asses. Ha.

    Are you invisible? Uh… obviously not. Strange that I never considered you as an overweight person. Mexican maybe, but weight has never been an issue with any of my friends. Maybe my wife, but that is another story altogether. Of course, she will read this now and I will be in the dog house.

    I guess I don’t know how to respond. I mean it is weird that something as obviously superficial as that has never entered my mind. Maybe it is because I am simply racist. Maybe it is because I am a skinny white boy and weight has never been a personal issue with me. In any case, I was really caught off guard with this post. Hmmm…

    Oh well, I wouldn’t change a thing.

  5. Ours is an odd culture. If we could really be as superficial and vain as we are accused, it seems that our obesity rates would be somewhat lower. On one hand I agree that losing weight and whatnot is a lot harder than it looks and people that have never been there should be a lot more understanding. On the other hand, I wonder if our healthcare system can even afford us being more accomodating of obesity. I’m not sure that it can.

    For what it’s worth, I’m fighting the same battle. Dropped some good money on a new exercise bike and am going to put some of my TV time to good use. It’s amazing how much easier exercise is when you can be distracted. It’s the food that I continually have the most difficulty with. Everything convenient is bad and everything good is expensive it seems… and I don’t have the time or money for much more than convenience.

    We are criticized for being superficial and vain, which we are… and yet our obesity rates are astonishing.

  6. It’s hard to live in a household of skinny people. Yeah, I could be one of them, but at what expense? I would have to starve myself and workout 10 hours a day to hold a candle to them. If I ate the same way as my husband I would be be a huge cow. It’s the difference in metabolism and sex. It’s a little harder being an overweight woman than an overweight man. I know the isolation, but I think sometimes we do it to ourselves. All I know is my family loves me no matter what.

  7. This comment seems to be a little late but oh well. As someone who has been skinny most of my life and has in the past couple of years become chubby I can say that without a doubt being bigger makes you more invisible. Most of my life I have gotten lots of attention from both men and women (whether I wanted it or not….I’m kinda the introverted type). But as I got chubbier I noticed that I got less and less attention within a short amount of time until now I truly feel that I’m invisible and people look right past me. Kind of depressing and lonely. At first I was actually kind of relieved to get some rest from attention but now I’m just lonely.
    Good news is, I’m finally getting a handle on the weight. Went to the doc. for a checkup before transferring to another college, found out I have low thyroid, put me on meds, hated them and the side effects, went off, changed my diet and started working out and got ahold of my thyroid through lifestyle change and the pounds are definitely starting to come off. And because my thyroid is within normal range now I have the energy to do it.
    Very slowly now I’m starting to get a little more attention and not feel invisible.

  8. Oh another thing, life is def. easier for skinny people. Most of my life people were sooo nice to me and I took it for granted. My life was pretty easy. Now that I’m chubby, I swear, besides people ignoring me, some seem to be downright rude to me for no reason. It’s a complete 180. I don’t think people consciously realize that they do that.

  9. True statements…
    I hate this feeling b/c I HONESTLY need Men to pay attention to me in any way even after I have been with my Husband over 10 years. We have 3 very beautiful and healthy children together. My biological (and gay) Father didn’t have a huge or even miniscule role in my childhood. Probably due to my alcoholic, jealous and insecure Step Father in our lives.

    Even my Mom would tell me to go lie on the wall of my GrandMother’s house on a very busy street at the age of 10 to see how many “beeps” I would get…but I loved it.

    I have fluctuated in my weight, I have had half of my thyroid removed, managed to lose over 100 pounds b/c I didn’t have money for food, move back in with my Mother and the same Step Father with 3 children…am now at 250 pounds and feelng like shit.

    I hate having chub-rub, I hate being subjected to Sabado Gigante or any Latin cannels…and absolutley LOATHE that 3 of my precious babies are subjected to this Old Ass’s BS…

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