“Find fault with thyself rather than with others.”
Ieyasu Tokugawa

Admitting that we are wrong is probably one of the hardest things we have to do in life. At times it feels like we are compromising who we are by admitting that we are wrong, yet it is the only way to really learn and grow in life.

I am not sure where in life it starts, but we seem to develop a sense of guilt during our lifetime. I have seen it in different degrees and in different situations, but it is present in almost all of us. Some people call it arrogance, others just simply finger pointing, but I believe every time that someone tries to find fault outside of themselves, they are at fault themselves.

We are not in control of the world around us, but we are in control on how we react and interact with that world. We are responsible for our own happiness, and I think that every time that we point the finger at someone else we are taking control away from us and giving it to that other person.

Professionally I have seen this behavior more than I like to admit. I have gotten to the point before that I think becoming a mason and doing brick work would be a lot more rewarding, I would then not have to deal with the so called “professionals” that are there to take every single credit but when there is any kind of wrong they are the first ones to run or finger point.

We have all heard that we have to be part of the solution and not part of the problem, but no one tells us how to accomplish that. I think the first one is to do away with the notion of fault and replace it with accountability. It might sound like an oxymoron at first since to be accountable, first fault has to be determined but bare with me. If you always have ownership over your mistakes and hold yourself accountable it will always be easier to find solutions. Once you determine your stake on the situation you know what you can and cannot do to change it.

In the end it is a lot easier said than done, but believe me I think that a lot of what is going on in the world can be at times be blamed on people always blaming others for their situation. If we could all just take charge of our own lives instead of looking at others for excuses on how they are affecting us (not us letting us be affected by them), we could all be better at making our lives better and therefore a better world for all of us.

9 comments on “Fault

  1. I do agree with you. The bigest problem with people now days is that nobody likes to admit their own errors but they are trying to look for responsables for every negative chapter in their lives…

  2. John,

    I have no idea where this came from. I wont name any names or point any fingers.

  3. Interesting point. It must be an ego thing. We stand strongly behind a statement that we may perhaps make and dispute anything contrary to it but when we find out that we were wrong, it’s definitely difficult to simply walk away with our tail between our legs. But it’s something that we must all work on. We learn from our mistakes.

  4. At my old job in marketing, it was inevitable that mistakes would be made just because no one is perfect, right? I remember one time when we had a problem and I discovered that I’d actually made the mistake, so I e-mailed my boss with it, and what I’d done to try to prevent it from happening again. His response was that he respected the fact that I’d owned up to it, instead of finding a scapegoat.

    I do know what you mean with regards to being happy on a personal basis. My mom went through a rough time after my step-dad died, but I had to tell her that no one person can make her happy again or solve all her problems.

  5. I am SO going to eventually write a post about one of the problems we have in our American culture, is that we always go introvertive and ask ourselves “Is it something wrong with me?” or “Maybe if I would have done this, I could have gotten the promotion”. Rubbish! Sometimes, it’s not a person’s fault at all. I feel what you are saying though, because some people are very prideful, and they need a wakeup call. I have mixed feelings about the issue.

  6. There has to be a balance though… it is not about making everything our fault but recognizing what can we change and what is out of our control. It is not about always being at fault but making sure that we are accountable for what is. In some cases it could be that you take things as your fault that are not.

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