Friendship Redux

“Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.”
– Aristotle

“A true friend stabs you in the front.”
– Oscar Wilde

“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”
– Henry Ford

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

Over the last couple of years I experienced some difficult times, at times it felt like everything that could went wrong, but it was at the same time liberating. One of the coolest things during that time was that had built onto one of my strongest personal relationships, or so I thought. I had finally felt like I had a best friend and that I was going to some day have my future kids call him uncle. I felt like I had a brother. They say all good things come to an end. Sometime last year, our relationship morphed, eventually it became unrecognizable and once again I have another person to add to the list of friends that I had and cannot quite pin point where the relationship went to.

Aristotle speaks a huge truth, and for a while I thought that without my friend I would not have stayed sane during those difficult times. I now feel a lot different, I now feel used, betrayed, ignored and left in the dark. In the past when this happened to a relationship I would internally take all the blame. I did not do enough, I was not a good enough friend, I could have done this or that. This last one showed me tons about all of my misconceptions about friendship.

Since I moved away from Chicago I had kept my friendship with many friends, and surprisingly enough, those that I speak to with the least are the ones that I feel closest to. Also my college friends that I don’t get to talk to that much have been more true to me during all of this time. I am by no means perfect and I am sure that whatever the reason is for the relationship to go sour I have as much blame, but Mr. Wilde says it best, a friend stabs you in the front. If there was an issue then it should be brought up to me, I have no real clue as to what happened and my efforts to find out have proven futile.

Henry Ford really summed up what I feel right now. I know that by reading the first two paragraphs you might think I am sad, or upset about this situation… in reality I am the quite opposite. I am happy, because in Cielo I have found a true best friend. She is someone that truly brings out the best in me. In the past the people around me might have helped me pick up the pieces in a bag, Cielo was the first person that actually encouraged me in a different way to put myself back together.

Life is not easy and friends make it a lot easier to live it, but only true friends do that. I am done with one sided relationships where I am the one doing all the work, I am a good friend and I should be valued as such mistakes and all.

I leave you with Martin Luther King Jr’s quote and ask… what does it mean to you?

3 comments on “Friendship Redux

  1. Being the shy recluse that I am I have way to few friends.
    Had a very good one once, but in a situation where he should have spoken out in favor of me he remained silent (as for the M. Luther King quotation).

  2. These are all great quotes, and you’re right in that you do find out who your true friends are during a crises. One of my big eye-openers was last year when my step-dad was sick and passed away. I think I had more people call me from the Mainland than those who were local.

    As to the last quote, I think it’s that when a friend lets us down, we are heart-broken because it’s unexpected. Whereas, you can anticipate what will come from your enemies, so it’s not as much of a surprise nor noteworthy.

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