“Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.”
“Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.”
“The first duty of love is to listen.”
For years I fooled myself into believing I was a good listener. I was always full of advice at any situation a friend or family member presented me. I was always well liked by those around me because of my ability to say what I thought. I now realize that giving advice about a situation does not make me a good listener, it seems almost idiotic to think that way but that is how I defined it in my mind.
Listening is a skill, one that I am working on right now. It is not about processing what we hear, but about really understanding what is being said. It takes a lot of work and most importantly you have to learn how to see other’s points of view. We all think we are very capable of doing this things but in reality it is quite a task to not come up with an idea of how what we are hearing fits into our morals or way of thinking.
I felt pray of talking too much during conversations, I still do. I have learned in both my personal life and the real world that sometimes not saying anything is more powerful than saying anything at all. Also that if you wait to say something until the other person has really finished what they are saying will make a conversation flow a lot better and accomplish that elusive goal which is to get a thought, that same thought to the other person. It is hard to think of it that way, but that is what we really are trying to accomplish when we communicate. It is to make someone else see what we see, or the ever harder to make someone else feel what we feel.
Charismatic people have the capability of influencing others; they can start a fire in someone else’s heart about a cause, about an event, a point of view. I have been called charismatic, but I sit here and don’t really feel that way since I don’t find myself being a good listener, how can I truly influence without the listening skill fully developed. I am trying to become a better listener and I don’t have the final answer just yet, but I do know that I have a lot of work ahead of me and right now I am trying to understand what the word listening really means. How do you define listening?