Women are Grand!

I was going to write about how much Hitchhikers Guide to the galaxy sucked, and to stay away from it, but Aprils’ comment made me remember something I saw on TV this weekend and further my need to rant.

I was flipping through channels, having already exhausted the TiVo for the weekend and I stopped at MTV for the usual voyeuristic chuckle. I dislike MTV, but I do find it to be a guilty pleasure. When I watch some shows on MTV it is like watching a car wreck, you cannot help but watch. I do have to say that some of the series that MTV has had have been well done, others just show how stupid our generation can be.

I had encountered this show before, it is called; I want a famous face. Well it is a ridiculous premise to start with, but since I had not seen this episode before I said why not. Enter a mother of two that wants to look like Jennifer Anniston. It amazed me to see a girl wanting so much done all at once. She wanted; nose, chin, breast implants and liposuction on her back, sides, tummy and legs. Once the operation was done she looked more like a mummy and so miserable, it was painful to watch. The magic of TV however, fast-forwarded 2 months, and voila she was recuperated and ready for a night out on the town. I was bothered by this girl’s actions, having a boyfriend and two kids, going on a “girls night out” and having guys touch her breasts.

I have never touched a fake breast, and I have no desire to either. I would be very offended if my woman let another man just feel her up. I guess in our society that is cool. Well, not in my book.

My rant is not about the disrespect to this girl’s boyfriend by the whole, “touch my fake breast incident.” I want to talk about the lack of self-respect this girl had. I totally understand someone wanting to look good, but to do it because of how others are going to see you and not for yourself I think is wrong. Our society has become so infatuated with the way we look that it becomes almost impossible not to be self-conscious in some level.

Women are grand. Women are beautiful and intelligent beings that grace us with their presence on this earth. No matter what size or how they look on the interior there is always some level of beauty to everyone. I am not a feminist, and I do not agree with a lot of that way of thinking… but what I do believe is that women need to be respected and adored like the goddesses they are. I am a man’s man, but I do not buy into the whole objectifying women. It is sad that our society has made the definition of beautiful an unrealistic portrait of an airbrushed woman that in my opinion is not real.

I am glad I have a strong, intelligent woman by my side. I only have eyes for her; she is my goddess and whom I like to give all my love and respect. I just hope that our society stops focusing so much on the outside and start healing on the inside, because we are in big trouble the way I see things.

Golf

I have only played golf in an actual course once. I have however hit a few balls in a driving range and found it fun. Almost like bowling, it is a good stress releif kind of sport to get to wack something at high speed.

Cielo has taken the task to teach me to actually play golf, and she started by getting me a brand spanking new set for my birthday. Now we have been so busy that we have not gotten a chance to actually get out there and play, but we are hoping that we can do it this weekend. The weather does not seem to want to cooperate but I hope it does.

Expectation

The final StarWars movie is about to be unleashed on both the StarWars nuts and the general public. I rank somewhere in the middle of that whole mess, mostly because I just cannot bring myself to wear a costume so I am not that hard core. I have really been trying to approach movies with zero expectation, and for the most part it has worked. There is no disappointment when I do watch the movie.

I have been thinking a lot about the word expectation lately. Not just in the sense of watching a movie but in a more interpersonal relationship level. I like to be a person that is full of hope, unfortunately, very closely to hope is the word that I believe can be dangerous which is expectation. So in my introspection I became curious as to how accurate my definition of the word really is. According to Webster, expectation is the act or state of expecting. Then they list anticipation in bold letters. My curiosity not being satisfied by this definition wants to go a little further. After another click of the mouse, expect is defined as to look forward to, and my curiosity was finally content with the etymology of the world. Expect comes from Latin, exspectare. To look forward to, from ex- + spectare to look at, from spectus, past participle of specere to look — more at SPY.

Even though my curiosity got its fill of information, I was really not satisfied. I wanted to know a little more about why this word was on my mind, furthermore, why did it almost seem to bother me. So I went on a quest to find some related quotes. The following expressed a little better what I was thinking.

“Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
-Alexander Pope

“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.”
-Leo Buscaglia

“Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.”
-Edward de Bono

Pope kind of sums it up as far as what my mental definition of the word is. Leo however put it at the personal level where I really want to go. De Bono got mentioned for the simple fact that it really rang true when I read the quote. But back on topic, I am really bothered by the word expectation when it comes to personal relationships. It is partly because I do not follow what Leo is saying and in a lot of occasions I have ended up idealizing a person when I really should not have. Almost looking at the version of what the person could be and not what they truly are. I think we all fall into this pitfall at one point or another when dealing with others. For a hopeful dreamer like me this can be a problem.

Over the years I have lost touch with my closest friends. Some were due to fallouts after difference of opinions. Others are kind of an unexplained distancing between us. Looking back it could have a lot to do with my expectations out of the relationship. The expectations I had of the person could really have hindered the relationship. I always try to see the positive side of things, and I am even worse with possibilities. I like to be a problem solver and for years I was somewhat of a preacher to my friends. One of the things that I failed to communicate was that a lot of my advice was never a take it or don’t be my friend anymore; but more of a “my advice is an idea or a point of view not gospel.” I come off as strong and opinionated, and even though my moral standards are very high, they apply only to me and not to others or the way they live their lives.

I do recognize that in my failed relationships I did expect more out of the relationship. I used to feel like if I give a lot, I expect a lot in return. This is not the way things should be. You should give as much as you want to give. What you get in return is whatever the other person feels they should give, and it should not be expected. I am human though, and I did expect a little more out of those people and the relationships I had with them. I now look back and see that I did idealize those around me, and did not see the reality right in front of me. All I saw was a version of what I thought the people were capable of being, not who they really were.

I can say that until my current relationship I have always idealized my partner on many levels. My love now, however, has found a way to keep me grounded and looking at reality. Keeping me from flying too high is a task on its own when dealing with a dreamer. I would like to think that in the past I did not live in an alternate reality created by my psyche, but I am afraid that in some ways I did. I also did not know myself as well as I know myself now. Cielo has brought me clarity in many levels, and I have grown more self-aware during the period of time that we have been together. It is amazing to learn to look at other’s views, even while opposite, as a means to broaden your own point of view.

The question still stands; does expectation ruin a relationship? Can what we think of others be an over inflated version of who the person really is? Do we walk a line that mixes hope and expectation a little bit too much? Or even worse do we know how to differentiate between the two?

Happy Mothers Day

Am I late, Yes, did I have a good reason, absolutely. I had a wonderful mothers day, celebrating the day was an excellent time to spend with family. I also mailed my sister and Mom a couple of cards which they both loved and made me happy. Sometimes is not an expensive present that touches the hearth but a thoughful one, and I think I did a good job on the present this years for the 3 mothers close to my hearth.

Cielo and I had her family over, including the maternal grandparents for dinner on Sunday. We had ribs and a killer pasta salad… which Cielo made … I know, I know she should have not cooked at all. Everyone had a good time and Cielo loved her present, again it was more thoughtful than expensive, but I think that is what really counts.

How was your Mothers day, how did you celebrate?

Quote on Education

“We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be
educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the
educated are free.”
– Epictetus

My GrandPa used to always tell me as a kid, “Educate and you will never be, the simple slave of the tyrants or fall pray of your passions.” It sounds a little more musical in Spanish but the message is the same. Education. Education is freedom as the Greek philosopher just quoted above. Again, the more we learn, the more we know that we are ignorant of so much. As we get older we gain the sense that we don’t know everything and that there are so many other points of view.

I like to travel and see other places, I really want to go to Europe and see so much of the old world. I also want to travel inside the US tons more, it might not have the history that our friend on the other side of the pond do, but it is a huge land that is very diverse. Traveling is one of the most important parts of education, it might not need to be done via physical movement, but reading a book from a far away land can open your eyes to this big world. I think learning from other cultures enriches our own. I am lucky enough to have a mixed culture by growing up in Colombia and then adopting the multifaceted US culture. So I leave you with two questions… do you think traveling is a form of education? And tell me something about your culture that you find unique and I might not know…

Go to top